Would you give your only sibling a kidney?

[Anonymous]

That's a tough one. My instinct was to say "yes, in a heartbeat." But I also have a sibling I despise who was an abusive bully NOT due to mental illness and I really can't say that I would. This is one of those things where I'd have to be in the situation to decide.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:First off let me say that I am estranged from my sister. She was mentally ill for about0 25 years. She is better now. She has been a bully to me all my life and pretty mean to me. I have few good memories of her. She became mentally ill at age 20, I am a year younger.

We are both closer to 60 than 50, yet I have a child in elementary school. I do not feel guilty to not offering her a kidney. I became estranged from her last year when I read her self published book which disses me and my parents.

Would you give a kidney to your close relative whom you do not like and has treated you badly your whole life?

To MY sibling? Yes. If I were you and had your sibling? Mmm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First off let me say that I am estranged from my sister. She was mentally ill for about0 25 years. She is better now. She has been a bully to me all my life and pretty mean to me. I have few good memories of her. She became mentally ill at age 20, I am a year younger.

We are both closer to 60 than 50, yet I have a child in elementary school. I do not feel guilty to not offering her a kidney. I became estranged from her last year when I read her self published book which disses me and my parents.

Would you give a kidney to your close relative whom you do not like and has treated you badly your whole life?

At your age and with a young child, I wouldn't. So she's on dialysis forever? Or, until she finds a(nother) match. So what? Sounds like you're giving her time to think through her life decisions.

I adore my sibling, but in your circumstance (age/child), I wouldn't give him one. I wouldn't do anything to undermine my ability to be there for my child(ren). Add to it your actual relationship and the answer's pretty simple. No.

I agree with this. The estranged relationship with sister would not be a factor. I would be concerned about being there for my child.

[Anonymous]

OP, it sounds like she wasn't even at all nice in her email to you? Was she distraught about her health situation or was she just her usual unpleasant self? In your shoes I probably would not donate a kidney to her. Are you prepared to just have all communication between the two of you cut off, when she finds out that you refuse to help? If not, then you might want to go ahead and find out if your match – – if you're not a match, then it lets you off the hook.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:First off let me say that I am estranged from my sister. She was mentally ill for about0 25 years. She is better now. She has been a bully to me all my life and pretty mean to me. I have few good memories of her. She became mentally ill at age 20, I am a year younger.

We are both closer to 60 than 50, yet I have a child in elementary school. I do not feel guilty to not offering her a kidney. I became estranged from her last year when I read her self published book which disses me and my parents.

Would you give a kidney to your close relative whom you do not like and has treated you badly your whole life?

In your situation, no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, it sounds like she wasn't even at all nice in her email to you? Was she distraught about her health situation or was she just her usual unpleasant self? In your shoes I probably would not donate a kidney to her. Are you prepared to just have all communication between the two of you cut off, when she finds out that you refuse to help? If not, then you might want to go ahead and find out if your match – – if you're not a match, then it lets you off the hook.

OP here: I cut off all communication with her last September when I finally read the self-published book she wrote where she dissed me, my mom and dad. It is on Amazon and will be there forever. I have no communication with her and have not missed it. I'm done with her. And she is not getting a kidney from me.

[Anonymous]

I would totally do it if I was healthy. Unfortunately I have had cancer and chemo and my dad needed dialysis at age 64. I can't really spare any kidneys, and I don't know if I could anyway.

[Anonymous]

For my sister, yes. In your case, absolutely not.

[Anonymous]

After she dissed me in her self published book? No.

[Anonymous]

Didn't you post a couple of months ago?

[Anonymous]

Why does she need a kidney?

[Anonymous]

No.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why does she need a kidney?

She collects them? What a stupid question? She needs a kidney transplant because her own kidneys are failing. How dense are you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Didn't you post a couple of months ago?

I didn't know my sister needed a kidney until yesterday. I was not clairvoyant.

[Anonymous]

I would give my sister a kidney and she doesn't even need one. That's how much I love her.