So, apparently I have raised a "geography snob".

[Anonymous]

We're beginning the college search for my rising college junior, and I'm embarrassed to say that it's revealing some biases that I didn't realize he had.

I'll mention a school that I heard good things about, and he'll immediately veto it based on location and his stereotype of that location. For example, I brought up 2 schools, 10 miles apart. One is in Southern Ohio. That was fine by him. He's open to exploring and learning more about this school. The other is in Northern Kentucky, and he told me flat out "no". When I asked why, all he could say was "I can't live in Kentucky"! He vetoed a great school in Wisconsin, and told me his reason "I've seen 'How to Make a Murderer'". For a school in Iowa his objection was "corn".

I suspect that if he actually visited some of these schools, he'd either discover that he likes them, or find a more legitimate reason to turn them down. But I can't afford to fly him all over the country to look at schools. Our plan is to look at every option within about 2 hours of home, or close to places we're already visiting (e.g. Grandma's house) and once we have a really good sense of what he likes, fly him out to see a carefully selected handful of schools in other areas.

How do I help him learn about areas of the country he hasn't had an opportunity to visit, to get him to be more open to the idea?

[Anonymous]

First maybe get him to express more articulately what he IS looking for and how location would affect what he wants from his college years. (Though with a teenager, I realize.)

I went to the University of Michigan. I was raised between NYC and Boston but got caught up in the rah rah Michigan during a visit. I mean, overall, it was fine and I had a good college experience but many times I just hated hated being stuck in the middle of the country. My friends were at schools in CO, California, Arizona ... hiking, camping, climbing and I had no city and was in a tough place for real outdoor adventure (two things I really missed).

All this to say, don't dismiss his concerns but try to suss out if they are real at all or not.

[Anonymous]

Though should be tough.

[Anonymous]

I ask this sincerely, Op. What does it matter the reasons he doesn't like a school? After all, he is the one who has to live there four years. As long as you can afford it and he gets in what is the problem? At least he knows where he doesn't want to be. As for the snobbish part...he is young and perhaps he will grow out of it. But, there are plenty of people who agree with him, unfortunately.

[Anonymous]

There's a topic in collegeconfidential called something like "stupidest reasons my child won't look at a college". It's a bit like the 'why my toddler is crying' site, in that students have been known to veto schools because:
-I don't look good in those school colors.
-The dorms smelled funny. (OK, that was my neighbor's kid).
-If I go to Purdue, everyone will ask me if I like chicken . -Harvey Mudd is a stupid name for a school.

etc.
The whole process is not as rational as you might think and add an irrational teenager into the mix and you never know what you will get.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:First maybe get him to express more articulately what he IS looking for and how location would affect what he wants from his college years. (Though with a teenager, I realize.)

I went to the University of Michigan. I was raised between NYC and Boston but got caught up in the rah rah Michigan during a visit. I mean, overall, it was fine and I had a good college experience but many times I just hated hated being stuck in the middle of the country. My friends were at schools in CO, California, Arizona ... hiking, camping, climbing and I had no city and was in a tough place for real outdoor adventure (two things I really missed).

All this to say, don't dismiss his concerns but try to suss out if they are real at all or not.

Hmmm.. I'm from Michigan (metro Detroit) and I had similar feelings about moving to Maryland.. As a kid I thought Maryland?!?! What is in Maryland??!?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I ask this sincerely, Op. What does it matter the reasons he doesn't like a school? After all, he is the one who has to live there four years. As long as you can afford it and he gets in what is the problem? At least he knows where he doesn't want to be. As for the snobbish part...he is young and perhaps he will grow out of it. But, there are plenty of people who agree with him, unfortunately.

I guess the problem is that it's clear that his ideas of different parts of the country are often based on stereotypes, rather than on actual information, and it's making me aware how limited his experiences are. I don't care if he likes or rejects a school because of something accurate about the school. For example, he told me he didn't want to look at a school in central Florida because of the heat. He's excited about a school in Denver because he likes to snowboard. I'm fine with that, because those feelings are based on real information. It really is hot in central Florida, and there really are snowy mountains near Denver. He also wants a more urban environment. I'm fine with that, and there are schools I won't even suggest because of that. But his rejection of other schools is based on stereotype, and not on fact, and that bothers me, because if it isn't addressed with accurate information, I can imagine the same stereotypes impacting his interactions with people he meets from Kentucky or Wisconsin or Iowa in the future. So whether or not he actually ends up going to Kentucky for school, I'd like him to be open to the idea that Kentucky is more than just his stereotypes.

[Anonymous]

I think you should trust your kid. My DD got accepted to a school I desperately wanted her to attend, but she was adamant that she wanted the really giant school on her list. Found out later that my opinion had tainted her view of her new school. She is beyond happy but mentioned she can't believe she thought she was settling for a lessor school when she made her choice. I now cannot believe the opportunities she has been given. Your kid knows more about what's good for him than you do even if he can't articulate the finer points of why. I do hope you flesh out what he wants to do for a major before you get too deep into the search. Opportunities are not equal at all schools for all careers.

[Anonymous]

Well, immaturity often plays into decisions.

I was listening to this interview about a black female scientist who developed a hiring application called "blender." It basically let employers look at a perspective employees qualifications without reference to their name, age, race, sex etc. Basically to help eliminate prejudices from the decision making process.

So if the size, areas of study, etc. of these schools match up to other contenders, you may want to suggest to keep the KY and WI schools on the possible list. (I don't think you'll be able to necessarily change his mind at this point.) If he applies and gets accepted then spend the time/money visiting them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We're beginning the college search for my rising college junior, and I'm embarrassed to say that it's revealing some biases that I didn't realize he had.

I'll mention a school that I heard good things about, and he'll immediately veto it based on location and his stereotype of that location. For example, I brought up 2 schools, 10 miles apart. One is in Southern Ohio. That was fine by him. He's open to exploring and learning more about this school. The other is in Northern Kentucky, and he told me flat out "no". When I asked why, all he could say was "I can't live in Kentucky"! He vetoed a great school in Wisconsin, and told me his reason "I've seen 'How to Make a Murderer'". For a school in Iowa his objection was "corn".

I suspect that if he actually visited some of these schools, he'd either discover that he likes them, or find a more legitimate reason to turn them down. But I can't afford to fly him all over the country to look at schools. Our plan is to look at every option within about 2 hours of home, or close to places we're already visiting (e.g. Grandma's house) and once we have a really good sense of what he likes, fly him out to see a carefully selected handful of schools in other areas.

How do I help him learn about areas of the country he hasn't had an opportunity to visit, to get him to be more open to the idea?

If the one in southern Ohio is Miami University, he will see quite a bit of corn getting to and out of Oxford.

[Anonymous]

Wait until he finds out that southern Ohio and northern Kentucky are identical

[Anonymous]

For a school in Iowa his objection was "corn".

Ha, this will be good in a couple of years for a laugh. Right now he is immature & not very sophisticated.

With his mindset the following states are also out.
Nebraska - he has already expressed a dislike of corn, the book "Children of the Corn" in Nebraska
Georgia - movie Deliverance
West Virginia - well, come on it is West Virginia

[Anonymous]

I must ask if you are just trolling? Another poster linked an article about preconceived stereotypes of the Midwest and your post plays into that rather conveniently. Too many times on this forum some troll from the Post tries tying in a fake posting to a recent article. If this is the case, could you please hone your skills to a finer degree. You do no service to the newspaper nor this forum by hiding your true intent. If this is a real posting, please accept my sincerest apology for assuming ill intent.

[Anonymous]

Why would you be paying for these schools out of state, anyway, particularly if he's not that interested? I would say "Great, College Park [or JMU] is a lot cheaper."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you should trust your kid. My DD got accepted to a school I desperately wanted her to attend, but she was adamant that she wanted the really giant school on her list. Found out later that my opinion had tainted her view of her new school. She is beyond happy but mentioned she can't believe she thought she was settling for a lessor school when she made her choice. I now cannot believe the opportunities she has been given. Your kid knows more about what's good for him than you do even if he can't articulate the finer points of why. I do hope you flesh out what he wants to do for a major before you get too deep into the search. Opportunities are not equal at all schools for all careers.

He wants a very specific major, which is one of the reasons we're searching far and wide. It's not a major offered anywhere in our state, to give you a sense of it's relative popularity.

I agree 100% that other than financial concerns, the choice should be 100% his. I just want him to be open to the possibility that some of his criteria aren't based on reality. If he were to spend some time looking at the Kentucky school website and decide he didn't like it because of how they structure the major, or if he visited the school (or even the school website!) and didn't get a good feel, or he decided he wanted a school under X or over Y size, I'd be fine with that.

I think I'm stuck on the Kentucky thing in particular, because it seems so random. The two schools are literally 10 miles apart, in the same metro area.