So, apparently I have raised a "geography snob".

[Anonymous]

I honestly think I'd let it go, op. He's what, 15, 16 years old? Let him find a few places that offer his major that you guys could afford, and focus on them. He doesn't need to apply to all 20 schools. He'll widen his horizons as he grows up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We're beginning the college search for my rising college junior, and I'm embarrassed to say that it's revealing some biases that I didn't realize he had.

I'll mention a school that I heard good things about, and he'll immediately veto it based on location and his stereotype of that location. For example, I brought up 2 schools, 10 miles apart. One is in Southern Ohio. That was fine by him. He's open to exploring and learning more about this school. The other is in Northern Kentucky, and he told me flat out "no". When I asked why, all he could say was "I can't live in Kentucky"! He vetoed a great school in Wisconsin, and told me his reason "I've seen 'How to Make a Murderer'". For a school in Iowa his objection was "corn".

I suspect that if he actually visited some of these schools, he'd either discover that he likes them, or find a more legitimate reason to turn them down. But I can't afford to fly him all over the country to look at schools. Our plan is to look at every option within about 2 hours of home, or close to places we're already visiting (e.g. Grandma's house) and once we have a really good sense of what he likes, fly him out to see a carefully selected handful of schools in other areas.

How do I help him learn about areas of the country he hasn't had an opportunity to visit, to get him to be more open to the idea?

I hope that school in Cincy is Xavier! It's great!

[Anonymous]

If I do that, I won't be able to pay for college!

You wouldn't have to visit 35 states! No one is suggesting that at all. Just pick one or two states near each other that you think he should look at. Are you telling me you can't afford to travel to Kentucky? I picked Kentucky since you mentioned it several times....

Sometimes school counselors can help out as well. But, I think you should drop it. Let him chose where he wants to go when it is time. As long as you can afford it why does it matter, seriously? Who cares if he is a snob at 16 years of age?

[Anonymous]

There are so many schools out there that, if your kid uses some arbitrary criteria to screen those willing to consider, it should just make things easier. But at some point I would try to make sure that he doesn't act like a snob in real life when he meets people from other areas and to brace himself for the possibility that others may not think the DC area is all that.

[Anonymous]

Read some of the other threads on DCUM, half (or more) of the people here are geography snobs!

On the other hand, it's your kids life so why not let him choose. Unless they are getting ready to offer him a scholarship, it's not going to make a big difference one way or another.

[Anonymous]

haha, tell him you won't pay if he refuses to even consider good schools based on location alone. That'll shut that brat up quick.

[Anonymous]

My kid never expressed this kind of opinion about areas of the US, but maybe because she went to China in 7th,9th, and 12th grade? Sleep away camps since 4th grade, most of them at colleges so going off to college seemed familiar. I don't think you can label your son a snob, just not experienced. Why you would want to shape his opinions, without letting him develop his own, is beyond me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid never expressed this kind of opinion about areas of the US, but maybe because she went to China in 7th,9th, and 12th grade? Sleep away camps since 4th grade, most of them at colleges so going off to college seemed familiar. I don't think you can label your son a snob, just not experienced. Why you would want to shape his opinions, without letting him develop his own, is beyond me.

Whoosh. Snob is in quotes.

[Anonymous]

As long as he's not ignoring ideal schools or limiting himself to a sufficiently small set of schools that you're worried he won't get in anywhere, I'd ignore this issue. Why go to a place you're not interested in when there are other places you'd rather be? We all make choices like that (e.g. vacations, job searches) and, as these choices go, college location can have some long-term implications -- e.g. where you work, whom you marry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid never expressed this kind of opinion about areas of the US, but maybe because she went to China in 7th,9th, and 12th grade? Sleep away camps since 4th grade, most of them at colleges so going off to college seemed familiar. I don't think you can label your son a snob, just not experienced. Why you would want to shape his opinions, without letting him develop his own, is beyond me.

Pot meet kettle.

[Anonymous]

I was a world traveler (as were most of my friends) when it came time to apply to schools and pretty much all of us said stupid stuff like this. Call it teenage apathy or not taking the college search seriously yet. My willingness to look at other schools grew a lot when it actually came time to get serious.

[Anonymous]

OP, MD participates in the Southern Regional Education Exchange. If your kid's intended major is not available in your state but is offered in member state schools, he can get in state tuition.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, MD participates in the Southern Regional Education Exchange. If your kid's intended major is not available in your state but is offered in member state schools, he can get in state tuition.

For some reason, there is no option for his particular degree in the tuition exchange. I can't figure out why as two schools on our list that have his major participate on the tuition exchange for closely related majors, but not for his. I feel as though, perhaps, there's some school in MD that I'm not thinking of that has his major that I'm not finding, but I've checked every 4 year school I can find listed. It's a mystery.

[Anonymous]

I can understand your frustration -- your son is refusing to consider options that might be of great benefit to him. Where did he learn that? Hmmm . . . . OP, several posters have noted that the best way to overcome prejudice is by actual first-hand exposure, yet you insist that's impossible because of budgetary limits. Why not at least consider whether there's a way to do this within your budget?

My husband grew up in a flyover state. His family had modest means, but they spent many summer vacations road-tripping around the country (remember the "See the USA in your Chevrolet" slogan?). They camped in national parks throughout the US, piquing their kids' curiosity and sense of adventure. After college, DH joined the Peace Corps and has traveled the world. One of the things I most admire about him is that he treats everyone he meets with dignity and respect. Sure, there were other factors that contributed to that attitude, but the impact of his family's summer travel was significant -- even if it was done on a shoestring.

[Anonymous]

I question whether first-hand exposure, especially of the college tour variety, would make him more willing to consider various locales. I've certainly found that, on closer (but still relatively superficial) inspection, places I was open-minded about looked less attractive to me after I'd actually seen them.