16 year old cousin molested

[Anonymous]

This past January my 43 year old cousin called me crying and extremely upset. She informed me that her 16 year old daughter had called her crying and told her that her father had molested her in his truck. My cousins daughters father has been on and off in her life her entire life, she refers to him by his first name and no one in his family is aware that she exsist. He is married, but my cousin has slept with him and been his side woman for years and was in love with him IMO.On the day he molested his daughter, my cousin had had sex with him earlier that day. To make matters worse he is also a police officer. My cousin initially planned on reporting him, but backed out and changed her mind, citing that her daughter had forgiven him, but wanted nothing to do with him.

Upon hearing this I was absolutely livid! I felt like my cousin was being a coward and allowing this man to get away with touching her daughter and possibly hurting another child. I got into a huge argument with her and her sister ( my other cousin) about it. I hung up the phone and have not spoken to her since. We were once very close, but I have no respect for her. All these months later I still don't know how to feel. Considering that the daughter and mother refuse to report what happened I am at a loss for what I can/should do. They appear to have moved on and neither of my cousins understand why I won't budge on my stance of dealing with her anymore. This situation is just terrible.

[Anonymous]

Sorry, OP, that sounds awful. Have you ever talked to the cousin's daughter?

[Anonymous]

I'm not sure how your cutting them off is helping an already terrible situation?

[Anonymous]

Call CPS.

[Anonymous]

How awful.

[Anonymous]

OP do you know about RAINN?
RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network)
https://www.rainn.org

[Anonymous]

I don't have a relationship with the daughter (2nd cousin), just the mom.

I cut the cousin off because I felt like if I remained in contact with her than I was essentially signing off on what she was doing/not doing. I refuse to support her decision

[Anonymous]

Call CPS and say what? Minus them admitting that it happened I have nothing to go on

[Anonymous]

You need to encourage her to get therapy for her daughter. If she can't afford it then Inwould chip in with my sister to help pay for it or see if there is free therapy somewhere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Call CPS and say what? Minus them admitting that it happened I have nothing to go on

It is not your job to "have anything".

Tell CPS your cousins name and address and tell them she told you her daughter was molested by her father.

Jeez...

[Anonymous]

That was hard for me to follow.
But here's what you can't do, and what you've been doing so far is make it about you.
You freaking out and getting into arguments doesn't help your teenage cousin at all.

Have you tried talking to the girl about what happenened?

Have you offered her support?

Let her know you'll be there for her no matter what she decides to do you'll always be in her corner.

I second the suggestions of RAINN and encouraging your cousin to ge the girl some therapy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Call CPS and say what? Minus them admitting that it happened I have nothing to go on

You don't know anything.

You just tell them what you know.

But before you do this I strongly suggest you try to get in touch with the girl and reach out to her as a friend and someone who cares.

She's already had her world horribly turned upside down once involving CPS will do that again.

Maybe she'l be willing to make a report herslef if she knows you are on her side.

[Anonymous]

Sorry if it was hard to read, typed it from my phone and the screen isn't compatible with typing long post.

I know my cousin and she would block her daughter from talking to me. She regrets telling me and wanted to quickly bury it after she decided not to act on it. It wasn't my intent to make it about me, I was just upset, truly at a loss and felt like my hands were tied since the victim won't speak up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Call CPS and say what? Minus them admitting that it happened I have nothing to go on

CPS has a way of sniffing out the weird reactions when they have to question people on lines like this. Where there's smoke there's fire and theyll pick up on that.

[Anonymous]

Call CPS. Make sure they know the suspect is a cop. It won't be the first time for them. Your cousin's DD may be maybe to ask the court for emancipation.