16 year old cousin molested

[Anonymous]

I did all of those things and was initially very supportive. I was going to go to the police department with her. I got angry with my cousin after she backed out and afte she told me that she asked her daughter how she would feel if her dad commited suicide as a result of being "outed". Again, there is a lot of backstory that I was unable to capture in a paragraph of detail. I was trying to give you all the gist of the story.

[Anonymous]

OP your cousin is probably reeling from this incident too. Please don't cut her off just because she didn't instantly react the way you think she should.

Find some compassion for both her and her daughter and try to remain a sounding board so that they don't both feel so isolated, which makes it easier for the predator to get away with his behavior. She may be worried about repercussions and feeling overwhelmed by what they're up against. This is when they both need you most, not to order them to act, but to provide whatever support they need right now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am surprised and very sad to see this as a response. I know this is how it is, but this is not how it should be. I have a daughter and I can't imagine letting someone touch her and doing nothing about it. I feel like part of healing is holding the person who hurt you accountable. I know you all aren't privy to a lot of the backstory, but my cousin has a pattern of making poor decisions (6 kids/6 different fathers, none of the fathers around etc). She pedestals men and I feel like not holding this clown accountable is sending a message to the daughter that she isn't worthy of being vindicated. I feel like my cousin set the tone for her daughter to think that she should let it go.

In any event, I will contact RAINN to get more guidance, because all these months later I just can't let it go.

There you go again making it about you.

This is what you have to understand . It's not about you. It's not about your cousin.

It is entirely about the 16 year old and what she wants to do.
She is the one who was violated.

She is the one who will have to relive what happened to her and answer very personal and very private questions.

Therefore it is 100% up to her what she wants to do and when and how she heals. FYI people heal in different ways and at different speeds.

I really think you need to make your best effort to patch things up with your cousin, so you can talk to the girl and be supportive to her and what she wants to do.

Bear in mind we're only getting the information from.the mom who has a vested interest in sweeping the incident under the rug. The victim is a minor who might be pressured not to press charges

[Anonymous]

In this particular case, because he is a cop, I believe that it is imperative that you report it, even against your cousin and her daughter's wishes. Someone with that much legal power and authority over people is a danger to the public. He could be the next Daniel Holtzclaw.