It's official: Gen Z are not delaying marriage til 30s anymore, young weddings are cool again

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Washington lawmakers have pushed for lengthy paid parental leave and childcare resources to stoke a baby boom. Plus all the generous first time homebuyer programs. Why is anyone surprised that clever young strivers are the first to capitalize on this? They tend to have the cushiest jobs and know how to play all the angles.

What are you talking about?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m going to email a few reporters and encourage them to write about this. I assume they can use A.I., LinkedIn, wedding announcements and marriage licenses to prove this is the beginning of a trend.

LOL. I’m sure Entertainment Weekly will get right on it.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:It's funny that old people think that women shouldn't get married until after 30, so controlling

I think my kids should get married whenever they feel like they’ve met someone they want to marry. If that’s at 22, so be it. But I’m getting the sense that the posters who are most supportive of young marriages are the controlling ones. These are the parents who have carefully controlled their kids’ friendships since preschool, making sure they only ever mix with the “right” families. The marriage to the appropriate partner is essentially what they’ve been building up to.

I mean, this sounds “controlling” to you but it sounds smart to me? After a certain age we know that kids’ peers have more influence on them than their parents. Trying to make sure your kids interact with kids whose parents share your particular values just seems like common sense.

Of course I want my kid with an appropriate partner- don’t you?? I mean, be honest with yourself, would you be happy to be mother of the bride at Lana del Ray’s bayou wedding? I would not.

Can you all conceive of real relationships without comparing to celebrities?

And it doesn’t just sound controlling, it is controlling. I trust my kids to figure what an appropriate partner means to them. Just as both my parents and my IL’s did for my husband and me. If our parents had exerted any kind of control on the type of people we married, we probably would have ended up with very different people, and we would have been miserable.

+1

TikTok isn’t real life.

“ Trying to make sure your kids interact with kids whose parents share your particular values ” is straight up creepy.

TikTok is full of young rich kids showing off huge engagement rings, big new houses and sometimes babies. It’s brainwashing young people and giving them anxiety trying to keep up and fretting about their age and milestones.

Ok. And many kids realize that it’s all BS. Because it is. It’s not real life.

And even if they like the aesthetic that doesn’t mean they are going to run out and desperately hitch up with the first guy to show any interest.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I got married at 23 and had my first at 26, in law school. People acted like I was a teen mom. It was ridiculous. I’ve been married for 17 years and I’m really happy with my choices. I have health problems now that could have kept me from having kids in my 30s. So I’m really glad I got that done in my 20s and I would recommend for my children to do the same.

At the same time, I was fairly mature at 23 and knew what I wanted. I knew DH was a good partner.

I wish I could have had children younger. I don't see what the big deal is. Think of how young you'll be when the nest empties!

I’ll be 46 and an empty nester MUAHAHAHA.

My 20s were hard but I’m happy DH was with me. He is the one who put me through law school. We had marriage, law school, babies overlapping and it was super hard but by my mid 30s life was so pleasant. Now nearing 40 my kids are older and I am really enjoying my life. I didn’t travel or date a lot but DH and I have had some fun trips while my parents stay with the kids.

It always stands out to me that young parents seem thrilled to be empty nesters and “enjoying my life.” There is this mindset that you’re happy the phase of having kids is over with.

Did you not enjoy having kids?
Perhaps you had to give up so much in your 20s and you feel like your time is finally your own? I can imagine you had virtually no time to yourself and had to struggle through lawschool if you had young babies at the same time.

I can’t imagine viewing having a family the way you do. I loved my time in my 20s and it’s now great to have a young family in my 40s.

+1! I read that and thought that sounds sad to be so giddy about your kids being gone. I was married young (23) but waited until 30s for kids. I’m glad we still have a way to go with them under my roof. In my 40s now.

Agree with this. I'm happy for anyone who is happy with their life choices, but I'd rather have kids later and spend much of my middle age years with kids in the house because this is when I most want to be home and don't feel curtailed by kids. I went out and traveled a lot in my 20s and early 30s -- by the time I got pregnant that was no longer as appealing to me and I was very ready to stay in more and have a more family-centric life. And no I was not out drinking and doing drugs and sleeping around -- I was just going out to dinner with friends, traveling to fun places, dating (but not having a ton of sex actually), and trying new hobbies. And now I'm eating dinners with my family and helping with homework and sewing halloween costumes... and happily going to bed at 9:30pm on a Friday.

This. Can’t imagine wanting my life to be limited by kids in my 20s. Someone who thinks this is the best option simply missed out on their 20s and doesn’t know any better.

You may as well try to convince me that the best time to have kids is high school.

You are limited by kids later then. This is not better or worse just different. They get their freedom too just later.

So if you spend Saturday night at home and hit the playground in the afternoon - you’d rather do this at 26 as opposed to 42?

At 42 you think you’ll have the same desire to party, socialize and travel that you did at 26? Even if I didn’t have kids, I can’t handle alcohol like I did at 26 and have slowed down significantly. I prefer evenings at home and my large suburban house.

This is ignoring a woman’s career and earning potential is way more limited by having children young. When I was 26 I would have had less parental leave and less flexibility.

My guess is you missed out on your 20s so you don’t know any better.

Not me. Loved my 20s, did a lot of traveling then and now as a family with 3 kids - had my first at 28. But handling teens at 46 takes a lot of energy out of me, can’t imagine doing that ten years later.

Your teens take a lot of energy out of you?

Maybe you never emotionally matured enough to handle them.

You can’t be serious.

It takes maturity to not get emotionally overwhelmed by other people.

If you aren’t capable of understanding that teens can be exhausting, then I don’t know what else to say to you.

Seems like you should have waited a few more years to have kids.

Again, it takes emotional maturity to not get self-involved in kid drama.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Washington lawmakers have pushed for lengthy paid parental leave and childcare resources to stoke a baby boom. Plus all the generous first time homebuyer programs. Why is anyone surprised that clever young strivers are the first to capitalize on this? They tend to have the cushiest jobs and know how to play all the angles.

What are you talking about?

Brunch grannies live in fantasy land.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:I got married at 23 and had my first at 26, in law school. People acted like I was a teen mom. It was ridiculous. I’ve been married for 17 years and I’m really happy with my choices. I have health problems now that could have kept me from having kids in my 30s. So I’m really glad I got that done in my 20s and I would recommend for my children to do the same.

At the same time, I was fairly mature at 23 and knew what I wanted. I knew DH was a good partner.

I wish I could have had children younger. I don't see what the big deal is. Think of how young you'll be when the nest empties!

I’ll be 46 and an empty nester MUAHAHAHA.

My 20s were hard but I’m happy DH was with me. He is the one who put me through law school. We had marriage, law school, babies overlapping and it was super hard but by my mid 30s life was so pleasant. Now nearing 40 my kids are older and I am really enjoying my life. I didn’t travel or date a lot but DH and I have had some fun trips while my parents stay with the kids.

It always stands out to me that young parents seem thrilled to be empty nesters and “enjoying my life.” There is this mindset that you’re happy the phase of having kids is over with.

Did you not enjoy having kids?
Perhaps you had to give up so much in your 20s and you feel like your time is finally your own? I can imagine you had virtually no time to yourself and had to struggle through lawschool if you had young babies at the same time.

I can’t imagine viewing having a family the way you do. I loved my time in my 20s and it’s now great to have a young family in my 40s.

+1! I read that and thought that sounds sad to be so giddy about your kids being gone. I was married young (23) but waited until 30s for kids. I’m glad we still have a way to go with them under my roof. In my 40s now.

Agree with this. I'm happy for anyone who is happy with their life choices, but I'd rather have kids later and spend much of my middle age years with kids in the house because this is when I most want to be home and don't feel curtailed by kids. I went out and traveled a lot in my 20s and early 30s -- by the time I got pregnant that was no longer as appealing to me and I was very ready to stay in more and have a more family-centric life. And no I was not out drinking and doing drugs and sleeping around -- I was just going out to dinner with friends, traveling to fun places, dating (but not having a ton of sex actually), and trying new hobbies. And now I'm eating dinners with my family and helping with homework and sewing halloween costumes... and happily going to bed at 9:30pm on a Friday.

This. Can’t imagine wanting my life to be limited by kids in my 20s. Someone who thinks this is the best option simply missed out on their 20s and doesn’t know any better.

You may as well try to convince me that the best time to have kids is high school.

You are limited by kids later then. This is not better or worse just different. They get their freedom too just later.

So if you spend Saturday night at home and hit the playground in the afternoon - you’d rather do this at 26 as opposed to 42?

At 42 you think you’ll have the same desire to party, socialize and travel that you did at 26? Even if I didn’t have kids, I can’t handle alcohol like I did at 26 and have slowed down significantly. I prefer evenings at home and my large suburban house.

This is ignoring a woman’s career and earning potential is way more limited by having children young. When I was 26 I would have had less parental leave and less flexibility.

My guess is you missed out on your 20s so you don’t know any better.

Not me. Loved my 20s, did a lot of traveling then and now as a family with 3 kids - had my first at 28. But handling teens at 46 takes a lot of energy out of me, can’t imagine doing that ten years later.

Your teens take a lot of energy out of you?

Maybe you never emotionally matured enough to handle them.

Jesus Christ, what an unnecessary and vicious response.

Pp must not have teens. My 13yo is driving me nuts and I’m sure he will continue to rebel in his teens. My 15yo is a dream.

Two teens. They could be driving me nuts if I wasn’t capable of stepping back and handling the situation like an adult.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:The official data on marriage does not support that gen z are marrying before their 30s. The age at first marriage has been trending up and will continue to do so.

You have to stratify by age at time of polling to capture the gen z specific data. Otherwise you are mixing in a lot of other current age cohorts who married at various ages.

If anyone thinks gen z are marrying by 30 then they don't have gen z aged kids lol. If you you will understand why these kids are not changing any trend.

Gen Z are not yet 30, the oldest are 27. My daughter’s friends are ages 23 to 25 and she’s been invited to quite a few weddings over the last year or so.

Are there actual stats suggesting that Gen Z is getting married earlier? I’m a millennial and there was a wave of weddings after college, so seems normal to me. There was another (bigger) wave around 27-28 and then the rest have been slowly trickling in since then.

No. This has been mentioned many times. Literally no stats to back it up…quite the opposite.

Exactly. It’s just some narrative that some people, perhaps with an agenda, are trying to push.

Facts/data be damned!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I got married at 23 and had my first at 26, in law school. People acted like I was a teen mom. It was ridiculous. I’ve been married for 17 years and I’m really happy with my choices. I have health problems now that could have kept me from having kids in my 30s. So I’m really glad I got that done in my 20s and I would recommend for my children to do the same.

At the same time, I was fairly mature at 23 and knew what I wanted. I knew DH was a good partner.

I wish I could have had children younger. I don't see what the big deal is. Think of how young you'll be when the nest empties!

I’ll be 46 and an empty nester MUAHAHAHA.

My 20s were hard but I’m happy DH was with me. He is the one who put me through law school. We had marriage, law school, babies overlapping and it was super hard but by my mid 30s life was so pleasant. Now nearing 40 my kids are older and I am really enjoying my life. I didn’t travel or date a lot but DH and I have had some fun trips while my parents stay with the kids.

It always stands out to me that young parents seem thrilled to be empty nesters and “enjoying my life.” There is this mindset that you’re happy the phase of having kids is over with.

Did you not enjoy having kids?
Perhaps you had to give up so much in your 20s and you feel like your time is finally your own? I can imagine you had virtually no time to yourself and had to struggle through lawschool if you had young babies at the same time.

I can’t imagine viewing having a family the way you do. I loved my time in my 20s and it’s now great to have a young family in my 40s.

+1! I read that and thought that sounds sad to be so giddy about your kids being gone. I was married young (23) but waited until 30s for kids. I’m glad we still have a way to go with them under my roof. In my 40s now.

Agree with this. I'm happy for anyone who is happy with their life choices, but I'd rather have kids later and spend much of my middle age years with kids in the house because this is when I most want to be home and don't feel curtailed by kids. I went out and traveled a lot in my 20s and early 30s -- by the time I got pregnant that was no longer as appealing to me and I was very ready to stay in more and have a more family-centric life. And no I was not out drinking and doing drugs and sleeping around -- I was just going out to dinner with friends, traveling to fun places, dating (but not having a ton of sex actually), and trying new hobbies. And now I'm eating dinners with my family and helping with homework and sewing halloween costumes... and happily going to bed at 9:30pm on a Friday.

This. Can’t imagine wanting my life to be limited by kids in my 20s. Someone who thinks this is the best option simply missed out on their 20s and doesn’t know any better.

You may as well try to convince me that the best time to have kids is high school.

You are limited by kids later then. This is not better or worse just different. They get their freedom too just later.

So if you spend Saturday night at home and hit the playground in the afternoon - you’d rather do this at 26 as opposed to 42?

At 42 you think you’ll have the same desire to party, socialize and travel that you did at 26? Even if I didn’t have kids, I can’t handle alcohol like I did at 26 and have slowed down significantly. I prefer evenings at home and my large suburban house.

This is ignoring a woman’s career and earning potential is way more limited by having children young. When I was 26 I would have had less parental leave and less flexibility.

My guess is you missed out on your 20s so you don’t know any better.

Not me. Loved my 20s, did a lot of traveling then and now as a family with 3 kids - had my first at 28. But handling teens at 46 takes a lot of energy out of me, can’t imagine doing that ten years later.

Your teens take a lot of energy out of you?

Maybe you never emotionally matured enough to handle them.

You can’t be serious.

It takes maturity to not get emotionally overwhelmed by other people.

Oh yes and it takes a great deal of maturity to spend free time sniping on an anonymous message board.

NO ONE here should be speaking with any kind of authority on what constitutes maturity.

You thought that was a snipe?

Maybe reflect on that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's funny that old people think that women shouldn't get married until after 30, so controlling

I think my kids should get married whenever they feel like they’ve met someone they want to marry. If that’s at 22, so be it. But I’m getting the sense that the posters who are most supportive of young marriages are the controlling ones. These are the parents who have carefully controlled their kids’ friendships since preschool, making sure they only ever mix with the “right” families. The marriage to the appropriate partner is essentially what they’ve been building up to.

I mean, this sounds “controlling” to you but it sounds smart to me? After a certain age we know that kids’ peers have more influence on them than their parents. Trying to make sure your kids interact with kids whose parents share your particular values just seems like common sense.

Of course I want my kid with an appropriate partner- don’t you?? I mean, be honest with yourself, would you be happy to be mother of the bride at Lana del Ray’s bayou wedding? I would not.

Can you all conceive of real relationships without comparing to celebrities?

And it doesn’t just sound controlling, it is controlling. I trust my kids to figure what an appropriate partner means to them. Just as both my parents and my IL’s did for my husband and me. If our parents had exerted any kind of control on the type of people we married, we probably would have ended up with very different people, and we would have been miserable.

+1

TikTok isn’t real life.

“ Trying to make sure your kids interact with kids whose parents share your particular values ” is straight up creepy.

TikTok is full of young rich kids showing off huge engagement rings, big new houses and sometimes babies. It’s brainwashing young people and giving them anxiety trying to keep up and fretting about their age and milestones.

Ok. And many kids realize that it’s all BS. Because it is. It’s not real life.

And even if they like the aesthetic that doesn’t mean they are going to run out and desperately hitch up with the first guy to show any interest.

They absolutely are. You clearly don’t know any Gen Z strivers. They see a few friends get engaged and it’s monkey see, monkey do because they get anxiety about feeling behind. Nobody wants to look immature and lower status.

[Anonymous]

Wealthy zoomers will marry young and buy houses together, while middle class zoomers will just shack up with each other if they don’t live with their parents well into adulthood.

[Anonymous]

My kids said it seems like nobody breaks up anymore. Kids keep in contact with their high school bf or gf all through college and end up engaged.

[Anonymous]

Very pretty daughter of multi-millionaire congressman and Fox News host married at age 22, right after graduating from prestigious UChicago.

https://radio.foxnews.com/2022/06/22/a-duffy-family-wedding-the-joys-and-stress/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids said it seems like nobody breaks up anymore. Kids keep in contact with their high school bf or gf all through college and end up engaged.

I’ve seen this end poorly with several friends, but I kept my mouth zipped when a family member recently married his high school gf at 23.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's funny that old people think that women shouldn't get married until after 30, so controlling

I think my kids should get married whenever they feel like they’ve met someone they want to marry. If that’s at 22, so be it. But I’m getting the sense that the posters who are most supportive of young marriages are the controlling ones. These are the parents who have carefully controlled their kids’ friendships since preschool, making sure they only ever mix with the “right” families. The marriage to the appropriate partner is essentially what they’ve been building up to.

I mean, this sounds “controlling” to you but it sounds smart to me? After a certain age we know that kids’ peers have more influence on them than their parents. Trying to make sure your kids interact with kids whose parents share your particular values just seems like common sense.

Of course I want my kid with an appropriate partner- don’t you?? I mean, be honest with yourself, would you be happy to be mother of the bride at Lana del Ray’s bayou wedding? I would not.

Can you all conceive of real relationships without comparing to celebrities?

And it doesn’t just sound controlling, it is controlling. I trust my kids to figure what an appropriate partner means to them. Just as both my parents and my IL’s did for my husband and me. If our parents had exerted any kind of control on the type of people we married, we probably would have ended up with very different people, and we would have been miserable.

+1

TikTok isn’t real life.

“ Trying to make sure your kids interact with kids whose parents share your particular values ” is straight up creepy.

TikTok is full of young rich kids showing off huge engagement rings, big new houses and sometimes babies. It’s brainwashing young people and giving them anxiety trying to keep up and fretting about their age and milestones.

Ok. And many kids realize that it’s all BS. Because it is. It’s not real life.

And even if they like the aesthetic that doesn’t mean they are going to run out and desperately hitch up with the first guy to show any interest.

They absolutely are. You clearly don’t know any Gen Z strivers. They see a few friends get engaged and it’s monkey see, monkey do because they get anxiety about feeling behind. Nobody wants to look immature and lower status.

I get that’s your narrative but it’s not reality.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Very pretty daughter of multi-millionaire congressman and Fox News host married at age 22, right after graduating from prestigious UChicago.

https://radio.foxnews.com/2022/06/22/a-duffy-family-wedding-the-joys-and-stress/

You mean the spawn of RWNJs are getting married? Ok. That makes more sense.