It's official: Gen Z are not delaying marriage til 30s anymore, young weddings are cool again

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I got married at 23 and had my first at 26, in law school. People acted like I was a teen mom. It was ridiculous. I’ve been married for 17 years and I’m really happy with my choices. I have health problems now that could have kept me from having kids in my 30s. So I’m really glad I got that done in my 20s and I would recommend for my children to do the same.

At the same time, I was fairly mature at 23 and knew what I wanted. I knew DH was a good partner.

I wish I could have had children younger. I don't see what the big deal is. Think of how young you'll be when the nest empties!

I’ll be 46 and an empty nester MUAHAHAHA.

My 20s were hard but I’m happy DH was with me. He is the one who put me through law school. We had marriage, law school, babies overlapping and it was super hard but by my mid 30s life was so pleasant. Now nearing 40 my kids are older and I am really enjoying my life. I didn’t travel or date a lot but DH and I have had some fun trips while my parents stay with the kids.

It always stands out to me that young parents seem thrilled to be empty nesters and “enjoying my life.” There is this mindset that you’re happy the phase of having kids is over with.

Did you not enjoy having kids?
Perhaps you had to give up so much in your 20s and you feel like your time is finally your own? I can imagine you had virtually no time to yourself and had to struggle through lawschool if you had young babies at the same time.

I can’t imagine viewing having a family the way you do. I loved my time in my 20s and it’s now great to have a young family in my 40s.

+1! I read that and thought that sounds sad to be so giddy about your kids being gone. I was married young (23) but waited until 30s for kids. I’m glad we still have a way to go with them under my roof. In my 40s now.

Agree with this. I'm happy for anyone who is happy with their life choices, but I'd rather have kids later and spend much of my middle age years with kids in the house because this is when I most want to be home and don't feel curtailed by kids. I went out and traveled a lot in my 20s and early 30s -- by the time I got pregnant that was no longer as appealing to me and I was very ready to stay in more and have a more family-centric life. And no I was not out drinking and doing drugs and sleeping around -- I was just going out to dinner with friends, traveling to fun places, dating (but not having a ton of sex actually), and trying new hobbies. And now I'm eating dinners with my family and helping with homework and sewing halloween costumes... and happily going to bed at 9:30pm on a Friday.

This. Can’t imagine wanting my life to be limited by kids in my 20s. Someone who thinks this is the best option simply missed out on their 20s and doesn’t know any better.

You may as well try to convince me that the best time to have kids is high school.

The rich kids marrying young aren’t missing out on anything. They use all the paid leave from work and their parents are rich and help with childcare. They travel with each other as a family. You might not find it fair but they have it all.

This is clearly the same person making a gaziilion posts.

The most comical is you keep saying “rich kids do X or Y” and then proceed to describe a lifestyle that isn’t rich.

“Use all their paid leave from work” is not a term uttered by a rich family.

Are you unaware that plum jobs offer 6 months paid parental leave to male and female employees? Or do you think wealthy kids graduate from selective colleges and never work?

Again…why would a wealthy person care about paid leave at all? Also, why wouldn’t anyone of any income bracket take full paid leave since you would receive full salary and benefits?

I thought these wealthy kids marrying early graduated from big southern schools…not selective colleges.

Seems like the anecdote crowd can’t get their anecdotes straight.

I’m more familiar with NYC but wealthy women still work. It’s unfashionable to be a SAHM and not do anything.

This is true but I know literally no under 25s in NYC having children, and I am in the circles you seem to be referencing.

Wealthy gen Z doesn’t mean NYC.

I am responding to someone talking about NYC. Keep up or sit down, Dixie.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The official data on marriage does not support that gen z are marrying before their 30s. The age at first marriage has been trending up and will continue to do so.

You have to stratify by age at time of polling to capture the gen z specific data. Otherwise you are mixing in a lot of other current age cohorts who married at various ages.

If anyone thinks gen z are marrying by 30 then they don't have gen z aged kids lol. If you you will understand why these kids are not changing any trend.

Gen Z are not yet 30, the oldest are 27. My daughter’s friends are ages 23 to 25 and she’s been invited to quite a few weddings over the last year or so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The official data on marriage does not support that gen z are marrying before their 30s. The age at first marriage has been trending up and will continue to do so.

You have to stratify by age at time of polling to capture the gen z specific data. Otherwise you are mixing in a lot of other current age cohorts who married at various ages.

If anyone thinks gen z are marrying by 30 then they don't have gen z aged kids lol. If you you will understand why these kids are not changing any trend.

Gen Z are not yet 30, the oldest are 27. My daughter’s friends are ages 23 to 25 and she’s been invited to quite a few weddings over the last year or so.

Are there actual stats suggesting that Gen Z is getting married earlier? I’m a millennial and there was a wave of weddings after college, so seems normal to me. There was another (bigger) wave around 27-28 and then the rest have been slowly trickling in since then.

[Anonymous]

Washington lawmakers have pushed for lengthy paid parental leave and childcare resources to stoke a baby boom. Plus all the generous first time homebuyer programs. Why is anyone surprised that clever young strivers are the first to capitalize on this? They tend to have the cushiest jobs and know how to play all the angles.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:It's funny that old people think that women shouldn't get married until after 30, so controlling

I think my kids should get married whenever they feel like they’ve met someone they want to marry. If that’s at 22, so be it. But I’m getting the sense that the posters who are most supportive of young marriages are the controlling ones. These are the parents who have carefully controlled their kids’ friendships since preschool, making sure they only ever mix with the “right” families. The marriage to the appropriate partner is essentially what they’ve been building up to.

I mean, this sounds “controlling” to you but it sounds smart to me? After a certain age we know that kids’ peers have more influence on them than their parents. Trying to make sure your kids interact with kids whose parents share your particular values just seems like common sense.

Of course I want my kid with an appropriate partner- don’t you?? I mean, be honest with yourself, would you be happy to be mother of the bride at Lana del Ray’s bayou wedding? I would not.

Can you all conceive of real relationships without comparing to celebrities?

And it doesn’t just sound controlling, it is controlling. I trust my kids to figure what an appropriate partner means to them. Just as both my parents and my IL’s did for my husband and me. If our parents had exerted any kind of control on the type of people we married, we probably would have ended up with very different people, and we would have been miserable.

+1

TikTok isn’t real life.

“ Trying to make sure your kids interact with kids whose parents share your particular values ” is straight up creepy.

TikTok is full of young rich kids showing off huge engagement rings, big new houses and sometimes babies. It’s brainwashing young people and giving them anxiety trying to keep up and fretting about their age and milestones.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I got married at 23 and had my first at 26, in law school. People acted like I was a teen mom. It was ridiculous. I’ve been married for 17 years and I’m really happy with my choices. I have health problems now that could have kept me from having kids in my 30s. So I’m really glad I got that done in my 20s and I would recommend for my children to do the same.

At the same time, I was fairly mature at 23 and knew what I wanted. I knew DH was a good partner.

I wish I could have had children younger. I don't see what the big deal is. Think of how young you'll be when the nest empties!

I’ll be 46 and an empty nester MUAHAHAHA.

My 20s were hard but I’m happy DH was with me. He is the one who put me through law school. We had marriage, law school, babies overlapping and it was super hard but by my mid 30s life was so pleasant. Now nearing 40 my kids are older and I am really enjoying my life. I didn’t travel or date a lot but DH and I have had some fun trips while my parents stay with the kids.

It always stands out to me that young parents seem thrilled to be empty nesters and “enjoying my life.” There is this mindset that you’re happy the phase of having kids is over with.

Did you not enjoy having kids?
Perhaps you had to give up so much in your 20s and you feel like your time is finally your own? I can imagine you had virtually no time to yourself and had to struggle through lawschool if you had young babies at the same time.

I can’t imagine viewing having a family the way you do. I loved my time in my 20s and it’s now great to have a young family in my 40s.

+1! I read that and thought that sounds sad to be so giddy about your kids being gone. I was married young (23) but waited until 30s for kids. I’m glad we still have a way to go with them under my roof. In my 40s now.

Agree with this. I'm happy for anyone who is happy with their life choices, but I'd rather have kids later and spend much of my middle age years with kids in the house because this is when I most want to be home and don't feel curtailed by kids. I went out and traveled a lot in my 20s and early 30s -- by the time I got pregnant that was no longer as appealing to me and I was very ready to stay in more and have a more family-centric life. And no I was not out drinking and doing drugs and sleeping around -- I was just going out to dinner with friends, traveling to fun places, dating (but not having a ton of sex actually), and trying new hobbies. And now I'm eating dinners with my family and helping with homework and sewing halloween costumes... and happily going to bed at 9:30pm on a Friday.

This. Can’t imagine wanting my life to be limited by kids in my 20s. Someone who thinks this is the best option simply missed out on their 20s and doesn’t know any better.

You may as well try to convince me that the best time to have kids is high school.

You are limited by kids later then. This is not better or worse just different. They get their freedom too just later.

So if you spend Saturday night at home and hit the playground in the afternoon - you’d rather do this at 26 as opposed to 42?

At 42 you think you’ll have the same desire to party, socialize and travel that you did at 26? Even if I didn’t have kids, I can’t handle alcohol like I did at 26 and have slowed down significantly. I prefer evenings at home and my large suburban house.

This is ignoring a woman’s career and earning potential is way more limited by having children young. When I was 26 I would have had less parental leave and less flexibility.

My guess is you missed out on your 20s so you don’t know any better.

Not me. Loved my 20s, did a lot of traveling then and now as a family with 3 kids - had my first at 28. But handling teens at 46 takes a lot of energy out of me, can’t imagine doing that ten years later.

Your teens take a lot of energy out of you?

Maybe you never emotionally matured enough to handle them.

You can’t be serious.

It takes maturity to not get emotionally overwhelmed by other people.

If you aren’t capable of understanding that teens can be exhausting, then I don’t know what else to say to you.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I got married at 23 and had my first at 26, in law school. People acted like I was a teen mom. It was ridiculous. I’ve been married for 17 years and I’m really happy with my choices. I have health problems now that could have kept me from having kids in my 30s. So I’m really glad I got that done in my 20s and I would recommend for my children to do the same.

At the same time, I was fairly mature at 23 and knew what I wanted. I knew DH was a good partner.

I wish I could have had children younger. I don't see what the big deal is. Think of how young you'll be when the nest empties!

I’ll be 46 and an empty nester MUAHAHAHA.

My 20s were hard but I’m happy DH was with me. He is the one who put me through law school. We had marriage, law school, babies overlapping and it was super hard but by my mid 30s life was so pleasant. Now nearing 40 my kids are older and I am really enjoying my life. I didn’t travel or date a lot but DH and I have had some fun trips while my parents stay with the kids.

It always stands out to me that young parents seem thrilled to be empty nesters and “enjoying my life.” There is this mindset that you’re happy the phase of having kids is over with.

Did you not enjoy having kids?
Perhaps you had to give up so much in your 20s and you feel like your time is finally your own? I can imagine you had virtually no time to yourself and had to struggle through lawschool if you had young babies at the same time.

I can’t imagine viewing having a family the way you do. I loved my time in my 20s and it’s now great to have a young family in my 40s.

+1! I read that and thought that sounds sad to be so giddy about your kids being gone. I was married young (23) but waited until 30s for kids. I’m glad we still have a way to go with them under my roof. In my 40s now.

Agree with this. I'm happy for anyone who is happy with their life choices, but I'd rather have kids later and spend much of my middle age years with kids in the house because this is when I most want to be home and don't feel curtailed by kids. I went out and traveled a lot in my 20s and early 30s -- by the time I got pregnant that was no longer as appealing to me and I was very ready to stay in more and have a more family-centric life. And no I was not out drinking and doing drugs and sleeping around -- I was just going out to dinner with friends, traveling to fun places, dating (but not having a ton of sex actually), and trying new hobbies. And now I'm eating dinners with my family and helping with homework and sewing halloween costumes... and happily going to bed at 9:30pm on a Friday.

This. Can’t imagine wanting my life to be limited by kids in my 20s. Someone who thinks this is the best option simply missed out on their 20s and doesn’t know any better.

You may as well try to convince me that the best time to have kids is high school.

You are limited by kids later then. This is not better or worse just different. They get their freedom too just later.

So if you spend Saturday night at home and hit the playground in the afternoon - you’d rather do this at 26 as opposed to 42?

At 42 you think you’ll have the same desire to party, socialize and travel that you did at 26? Even if I didn’t have kids, I can’t handle alcohol like I did at 26 and have slowed down significantly. I prefer evenings at home and my large suburban house.

This is ignoring a woman’s career and earning potential is way more limited by having children young. When I was 26 I would have had less parental leave and less flexibility.

My guess is you missed out on your 20s so you don’t know any better.

Not me. Loved my 20s, did a lot of traveling then and now as a family with 3 kids - had my first at 28. But handling teens at 46 takes a lot of energy out of me, can’t imagine doing that ten years later.

Your teens take a lot of energy out of you?

Maybe you never emotionally matured enough to handle them.

Jesus Christ, what an unnecessary and vicious response.

Pp must not have teens. My 13yo is driving me nuts and I’m sure he will continue to rebel in his teens. My 15yo is a dream.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The official data on marriage does not support that gen z are marrying before their 30s. The age at first marriage has been trending up and will continue to do so.

You have to stratify by age at time of polling to capture the gen z specific data. Otherwise you are mixing in a lot of other current age cohorts who married at various ages.

If anyone thinks gen z are marrying by 30 then they don't have gen z aged kids lol. If you you will understand why these kids are not changing any trend.

Gen Z are not yet 30, the oldest are 27. My daughter’s friends are ages 23 to 25 and she’s been invited to quite a few weddings over the last year or so.

Are there actual stats suggesting that Gen Z is getting married earlier? I’m a millennial and there was a wave of weddings after college, so seems normal to me. There was another (bigger) wave around 27-28 and then the rest have been slowly trickling in since then.

No. This has been mentioned many times. Literally no stats to back it up…quite the opposite.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:I got married at 23 and had my first at 26, in law school. People acted like I was a teen mom. It was ridiculous. I’ve been married for 17 years and I’m really happy with my choices. I have health problems now that could have kept me from having kids in my 30s. So I’m really glad I got that done in my 20s and I would recommend for my children to do the same.

At the same time, I was fairly mature at 23 and knew what I wanted. I knew DH was a good partner.

I wish I could have had children younger. I don't see what the big deal is. Think of how young you'll be when the nest empties!

I’ll be 46 and an empty nester MUAHAHAHA.

My 20s were hard but I’m happy DH was with me. He is the one who put me through law school. We had marriage, law school, babies overlapping and it was super hard but by my mid 30s life was so pleasant. Now nearing 40 my kids are older and I am really enjoying my life. I didn’t travel or date a lot but DH and I have had some fun trips while my parents stay with the kids.

It always stands out to me that young parents seem thrilled to be empty nesters and “enjoying my life.” There is this mindset that you’re happy the phase of having kids is over with.

Did you not enjoy having kids?
Perhaps you had to give up so much in your 20s and you feel like your time is finally your own? I can imagine you had virtually no time to yourself and had to struggle through lawschool if you had young babies at the same time.

I can’t imagine viewing having a family the way you do. I loved my time in my 20s and it’s now great to have a young family in my 40s.

+1! I read that and thought that sounds sad to be so giddy about your kids being gone. I was married young (23) but waited until 30s for kids. I’m glad we still have a way to go with them under my roof. In my 40s now.

Agree with this. I'm happy for anyone who is happy with their life choices, but I'd rather have kids later and spend much of my middle age years with kids in the house because this is when I most want to be home and don't feel curtailed by kids. I went out and traveled a lot in my 20s and early 30s -- by the time I got pregnant that was no longer as appealing to me and I was very ready to stay in more and have a more family-centric life. And no I was not out drinking and doing drugs and sleeping around -- I was just going out to dinner with friends, traveling to fun places, dating (but not having a ton of sex actually), and trying new hobbies. And now I'm eating dinners with my family and helping with homework and sewing halloween costumes... and happily going to bed at 9:30pm on a Friday.

This. Can’t imagine wanting my life to be limited by kids in my 20s. Someone who thinks this is the best option simply missed out on their 20s and doesn’t know any better.

You may as well try to convince me that the best time to have kids is high school.

The rich kids marrying young aren’t missing out on anything. They use all the paid leave from work and their parents are rich and help with childcare. They travel with each other as a family. You might not find it fair but they have it all.

This is clearly the same person making a gaziilion posts.

The most comical is you keep saying “rich kids do X or Y” and then proceed to describe a lifestyle that isn’t rich.

“Use all their paid leave from work” is not a term uttered by a rich family.

Are you unaware that plum jobs offer 6 months paid parental leave to male and female employees? Or do you think wealthy kids graduate from selective colleges and never work?

Again…why would a wealthy person care about paid leave at all? Also, why wouldn’t anyone of any income bracket take full paid leave since you would receive full salary and benefits?

I thought these wealthy kids marrying early graduated from big southern schools…not selective colleges.

Seems like the anecdote crowd can’t get their anecdotes straight.

The type of “wealthy people” having kids young are the type whose parents are UMC professionals, not just celebrities. Meaning their parents can support them with money for their wedding, down payment, financial help when they have kids, etc.

At least those are the type of people who married young in my college class. People with really stable and well to do backgrounds. The type of kids who could afford a nice car at college and decorate their dorm room fancy, not billionaire scions or something.

Ok…but there weren’t lots of them getting married super young.

It’s always happened…used to happen much more often even in the 1990s…and once more the median marriage ages are the highest ever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:I got married at 23 and had my first at 26, in law school. People acted like I was a teen mom. It was ridiculous. I’ve been married for 17 years and I’m really happy with my choices. I have health problems now that could have kept me from having kids in my 30s. So I’m really glad I got that done in my 20s and I would recommend for my children to do the same.

At the same time, I was fairly mature at 23 and knew what I wanted. I knew DH was a good partner.

I wish I could have had children younger. I don't see what the big deal is. Think of how young you'll be when the nest empties!

I’ll be 46 and an empty nester MUAHAHAHA.

My 20s were hard but I’m happy DH was with me. He is the one who put me through law school. We had marriage, law school, babies overlapping and it was super hard but by my mid 30s life was so pleasant. Now nearing 40 my kids are older and I am really enjoying my life. I didn’t travel or date a lot but DH and I have had some fun trips while my parents stay with the kids.

It always stands out to me that young parents seem thrilled to be empty nesters and “enjoying my life.” There is this mindset that you’re happy the phase of having kids is over with.

Did you not enjoy having kids?
Perhaps you had to give up so much in your 20s and you feel like your time is finally your own? I can imagine you had virtually no time to yourself and had to struggle through lawschool if you had young babies at the same time.

I can’t imagine viewing having a family the way you do. I loved my time in my 20s and it’s now great to have a young family in my 40s.

+1! I read that and thought that sounds sad to be so giddy about your kids being gone. I was married young (23) but waited until 30s for kids. I’m glad we still have a way to go with them under my roof. In my 40s now.

Agree with this. I'm happy for anyone who is happy with their life choices, but I'd rather have kids later and spend much of my middle age years with kids in the house because this is when I most want to be home and don't feel curtailed by kids. I went out and traveled a lot in my 20s and early 30s -- by the time I got pregnant that was no longer as appealing to me and I was very ready to stay in more and have a more family-centric life. And no I was not out drinking and doing drugs and sleeping around -- I was just going out to dinner with friends, traveling to fun places, dating (but not having a ton of sex actually), and trying new hobbies. And now I'm eating dinners with my family and helping with homework and sewing halloween costumes... and happily going to bed at 9:30pm on a Friday.

This. Can’t imagine wanting my life to be limited by kids in my 20s. Someone who thinks this is the best option simply missed out on their 20s and doesn’t know any better.

You may as well try to convince me that the best time to have kids is high school.

The rich kids marrying young aren’t missing out on anything. They use all the paid leave from work and their parents are rich and help with childcare. They travel with each other as a family. You might not find it fair but they have it all.

This is clearly the same person making a gaziilion posts.

The most comical is you keep saying “rich kids do X or Y” and then proceed to describe a lifestyle that isn’t rich.

“Use all their paid leave from work” is not a term uttered by a rich family.

Are you unaware that plum jobs offer 6 months paid parental leave to male and female employees? Or do you think wealthy kids graduate from selective colleges and never work?

Again…why would a wealthy person care about paid leave at all? Also, why wouldn’t anyone of any income bracket take full paid leave since you would receive full salary and benefits?

I thought these wealthy kids marrying early graduated from big southern schools…not selective colleges.

Seems like the anecdote crowd can’t get their anecdotes straight.

The type of “wealthy people” having kids young are the type whose parents are UMC professionals, not just celebrities. Meaning their parents can support them with money for their wedding, down payment, financial help when they have kids, etc.

At least those are the type of people who married young in my college class. People with really stable and well to do backgrounds. The type of kids who could afford a nice car at college and decorate their dorm room fancy, not billionaire scions or something.

Ok…but there weren’t lots of them getting married super young.

It’s always happened…used to happen much more often even in the 1990s…and once more the median marriage ages are the highest ever.

What do you consider a “lot?” To me it was a lot and more than I expected.

No one in this thread has posted real statistics but I also suspect this isn’t a “trend.” I was just interested in explaining why and how well to do people would be interested in this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The official data on marriage does not support that gen z are marrying before their 30s. The age at first marriage has been trending up and will continue to do so.

You have to stratify by age at time of polling to capture the gen z specific data. Otherwise you are mixing in a lot of other current age cohorts who married at various ages.

If anyone thinks gen z are marrying by 30 then they don't have gen z aged kids lol. If you you will understand why these kids are not changing any trend.

Gen Z are not yet 30, the oldest are 27. My daughter’s friends are ages 23 to 25 and she’s been invited to quite a few weddings over the last year or so.

Are there actual stats suggesting that Gen Z is getting married earlier? I’m a millennial and there was a wave of weddings after college, so seems normal to me. There was another (bigger) wave around 27-28 and then the rest have been slowly trickling in since then.

No. This has been mentioned many times. Literally no stats to back it up…quite the opposite.

How would you find newly trending data for married rich Gen Zs (who graduated from selective universities) in the last 5 years? Weddings didn’t get back to normal until 2022, so you’re talking about two years of weddings and a very specific demo.

My oldest has a very broad friend group from travel sports, summer camps, private school k-12, and selective private college. It seems hundreds of her UMC and UC girlfriends on Instagram from all over the country are engaged or married at ages 22 to 25.

[Anonymous]

I’m going to email a few reporters and encourage them to write about this. I assume they can use A.I., LinkedIn, wedding announcements and marriage licenses to prove this is the beginning of a trend.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I got married at 23 and had my first at 26, in law school. People acted like I was a teen mom. It was ridiculous. I’ve been married for 17 years and I’m really happy with my choices. I have health problems now that could have kept me from having kids in my 30s. So I’m really glad I got that done in my 20s and I would recommend for my children to do the same.

At the same time, I was fairly mature at 23 and knew what I wanted. I knew DH was a good partner.

I wish I could have had children younger. I don't see what the big deal is. Think of how young you'll be when the nest empties!

I’ll be 46 and an empty nester MUAHAHAHA.

My 20s were hard but I’m happy DH was with me. He is the one who put me through law school. We had marriage, law school, babies overlapping and it was super hard but by my mid 30s life was so pleasant. Now nearing 40 my kids are older and I am really enjoying my life. I didn’t travel or date a lot but DH and I have had some fun trips while my parents stay with the kids.

It always stands out to me that young parents seem thrilled to be empty nesters and “enjoying my life.” There is this mindset that you’re happy the phase of having kids is over with.

Did you not enjoy having kids?
Perhaps you had to give up so much in your 20s and you feel like your time is finally your own? I can imagine you had virtually no time to yourself and had to struggle through lawschool if you had young babies at the same time.

I can’t imagine viewing having a family the way you do. I loved my time in my 20s and it’s now great to have a young family in my 40s.

+1! I read that and thought that sounds sad to be so giddy about your kids being gone. I was married young (23) but waited until 30s for kids. I’m glad we still have a way to go with them under my roof. In my 40s now.

Agree with this. I'm happy for anyone who is happy with their life choices, but I'd rather have kids later and spend much of my middle age years with kids in the house because this is when I most want to be home and don't feel curtailed by kids. I went out and traveled a lot in my 20s and early 30s -- by the time I got pregnant that was no longer as appealing to me and I was very ready to stay in more and have a more family-centric life. And no I was not out drinking and doing drugs and sleeping around -- I was just going out to dinner with friends, traveling to fun places, dating (but not having a ton of sex actually), and trying new hobbies. And now I'm eating dinners with my family and helping with homework and sewing halloween costumes... and happily going to bed at 9:30pm on a Friday.

This. Can’t imagine wanting my life to be limited by kids in my 20s. Someone who thinks this is the best option simply missed out on their 20s and doesn’t know any better.

You may as well try to convince me that the best time to have kids is high school.

The rich kids marrying young aren’t missing out on anything. They use all the paid leave from work and their parents are rich and help with childcare. They travel with each other as a family. You might not find it fair but they have it all.

This is clearly the same person making a gaziilion posts.

The most comical is you keep saying “rich kids do X or Y” and then proceed to describe a lifestyle that isn’t rich.

“Use all their paid leave from work” is not a term uttered by a rich family.

Are you unaware that plum jobs offer 6 months paid parental leave to male and female employees? Or do you think wealthy kids graduate from selective colleges and never work?

Again…why would a wealthy person care about paid leave at all? Also, why wouldn’t anyone of any income bracket take full paid leave since you would receive full salary and benefits?

I thought these wealthy kids marrying early graduated from big southern schools…not selective colleges.

Seems like the anecdote crowd can’t get their anecdotes straight.

The type of “wealthy people” having kids young are the type whose parents are UMC professionals, not just celebrities. Meaning their parents can support them with money for their wedding, down payment, financial help when they have kids, etc.

At least those are the type of people who married young in my college class. People with really stable and well to do backgrounds. The type of kids who could afford a nice car at college and decorate their dorm room fancy, not billionaire scions or something.

Ok…but there weren’t lots of them getting married super young.

It’s always happened…used to happen much more often even in the 1990s…and once more the median marriage ages are the highest ever.

What do you consider a “lot?” To me it was a lot and more than I expected.

No one in this thread has posted real statistics but I also suspect this isn’t a “trend.” I was just interested in explaining why and how well to do people would be interested in this.

Someone pages ago explained what’s likely happening. The rich can afford to marry on a whim because they have no debt and their parents pay for everything. Many poor and middle class kids will never marry. They can’t afford a ring, a wedding, or a house. They’re in debt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Washington lawmakers have pushed for lengthy paid parental leave and childcare resources to stoke a baby boom. Plus all the generous first time homebuyer programs. Why is anyone surprised that clever young strivers are the first to capitalize on this? They tend to have the cushiest jobs and know how to play all the angles.

Kamala Harris was asked about this today in the Call Her Daddy podcast. 25% of zoomers and millennials don’t think they’ll ever marry because they don’t see how they can afford to. Pretty bleak.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Washington lawmakers have pushed for lengthy paid parental leave and childcare resources to stoke a baby boom. Plus all the generous first time homebuyer programs. Why is anyone surprised that clever young strivers are the first to capitalize on this? They tend to have the cushiest jobs and know how to play all the angles.

Kamala Harris was asked about this today in the Call Her Daddy podcast. 25% of zoomers and millennials don’t think they’ll ever marry because they don’t see how they can afford to. Pretty bleak.

That’s ridiculous. Getting married cost less than an iPhone.