It's official: Gen Z are not delaying marriage til 30s anymore, young weddings are cool again

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:It's funny that old people think that women shouldn't get married until after 30, so controlling

I think my kids should get married whenever they feel like they’ve met someone they want to marry. If that’s at 22, so be it. But I’m getting the sense that the posters who are most supportive of young marriages are the controlling ones. These are the parents who have carefully controlled their kids’ friendships since preschool, making sure they only ever mix with the “right” families. The marriage to the appropriate partner is essentially what they’ve been building up to.

I mean, this sounds “controlling” to you but it sounds smart to me? After a certain age we know that kids’ peers have more influence on them than their parents. Trying to make sure your kids interact with kids whose parents share your particular values just seems like common sense.

Of course I want my kid with an appropriate partner- don’t you?? I mean, be honest with yourself, would you be happy to be mother of the bride at Lana del Ray’s bayou wedding? I would not.

Can you all conceive of real relationships without comparing to celebrities?

And it doesn’t just sound controlling, it is controlling. I trust my kids to figure what an appropriate partner means to them. Just as both my parents and my IL’s did for my husband and me. If our parents had exerted any kind of control on the type of people we married, we probably would have ended up with very different people, and we would have been miserable.

+1

TikTok isn’t real life.

“ Trying to make sure your kids interact with kids whose parents share your particular values ” is straight up creepy.

TikTok is full of young rich kids showing off huge engagement rings, big new houses and sometimes babies. It’s brainwashing young people and giving them anxiety trying to keep up and fretting about their age and milestones.

Ok. And many kids realize that it’s all BS. Because it is. It’s not real life.

And even if they like the aesthetic that doesn’t mean they are going to run out and desperately hitch up with the first guy to show any interest.

They absolutely are. You clearly don’t know any Gen Z strivers. They see a few friends get engaged and it’s monkey see, monkey do because they get anxiety about feeling behind. Nobody wants to look immature and lower status.

I get that’s your narrative but it’s not reality.

+1 Immature and low status = scrambling to get married because of TikTok

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's funny that old people think that women shouldn't get married until after 30, so controlling

I think my kids should get married whenever they feel like they’ve met someone they want to marry. If that’s at 22, so be it. But I’m getting the sense that the posters who are most supportive of young marriages are the controlling ones. These are the parents who have carefully controlled their kids’ friendships since preschool, making sure they only ever mix with the “right” families. The marriage to the appropriate partner is essentially what they’ve been building up to.

I mean, this sounds “controlling” to you but it sounds smart to me? After a certain age we know that kids’ peers have more influence on them than their parents. Trying to make sure your kids interact with kids whose parents share your particular values just seems like common sense.

Of course I want my kid with an appropriate partner- don’t you?? I mean, be honest with yourself, would you be happy to be mother of the bride at Lana del Ray’s bayou wedding? I would not.

Can you all conceive of real relationships without comparing to celebrities?

And it doesn’t just sound controlling, it is controlling. I trust my kids to figure what an appropriate partner means to them. Just as both my parents and my IL’s did for my husband and me. If our parents had exerted any kind of control on the type of people we married, we probably would have ended up with very different people, and we would have been miserable.

+1

TikTok isn’t real life.

“ Trying to make sure your kids interact with kids whose parents share your particular values ” is straight up creepy.

TikTok is full of young rich kids showing off huge engagement rings, big new houses and sometimes babies. It’s brainwashing young people and giving them anxiety trying to keep up and fretting about their age and milestones.

Ok. And many kids realize that it’s all BS. Because it is. It’s not real life.

And even if they like the aesthetic that doesn’t mean they are going to run out and desperately hitch up with the first guy to show any interest.

They absolutely are. You clearly don’t know any Gen Z strivers. They see a few friends get engaged and it’s monkey see, monkey do because they get anxiety about feeling behind. Nobody wants to look immature and lower status.

Immature is doing what everyone else does. Have fun walking off the cliff, kiddos!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's funny that old people think that women shouldn't get married until after 30, so controlling

I think my kids should get married whenever they feel like they’ve met someone they want to marry. If that’s at 22, so be it. But I’m getting the sense that the posters who are most supportive of young marriages are the controlling ones. These are the parents who have carefully controlled their kids’ friendships since preschool, making sure they only ever mix with the “right” families. The marriage to the appropriate partner is essentially what they’ve been building up to.

I mean, this sounds “controlling” to you but it sounds smart to me? After a certain age we know that kids’ peers have more influence on them than their parents. Trying to make sure your kids interact with kids whose parents share your particular values just seems like common sense.

Of course I want my kid with an appropriate partner- don’t you?? I mean, be honest with yourself, would you be happy to be mother of the bride at Lana del Ray’s bayou wedding? I would not.

Can you all conceive of real relationships without comparing to celebrities?

And it doesn’t just sound controlling, it is controlling. I trust my kids to figure what an appropriate partner means to them. Just as both my parents and my IL’s did for my husband and me. If our parents had exerted any kind of control on the type of people we married, we probably would have ended up with very different people, and we would have been miserable.

+1

TikTok isn’t real life.

“ Trying to make sure your kids interact with kids whose parents share your particular values ” is straight up creepy.

TikTok is full of young rich kids showing off huge engagement rings, big new houses and sometimes babies. It’s brainwashing young people and giving them anxiety trying to keep up and fretting about their age and milestones.

Ok. And many kids realize that it’s all BS. Because it is. It’s not real life.

And even if they like the aesthetic that doesn’t mean they are going to run out and desperately hitch up with the first guy to show any interest.

They absolutely are. You clearly don’t know any Gen Z strivers. They see a few friends get engaged and it’s monkey see, monkey do because they get anxiety about feeling behind. Nobody wants to look immature and lower status.

I get that’s your narrative but it’s not reality.

+1 Immature and low status = scrambling to get married because of TikTok

Lower rungs kids are saddled with student loans, they can’t afford an engagement ring, let alone a fancy wedding, honeymoon, and down payment on a suburban McMansion or owner-occupied apartment in the city.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Very pretty daughter of multi-millionaire congressman and Fox News host married at age 22, right after graduating from prestigious UChicago.

https://radio.foxnews.com/2022/06/22/a-duffy-family-wedding-the-joys-and-stress/

You mean the spawn of RWNJs are getting married? Ok. That makes more sense.

Millionaire family. Midwest not south. Ivy League tier college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids said it seems like nobody breaks up anymore. Kids keep in contact with their high school bf or gf all through college and end up engaged.

I’ve seen this end poorly with several friends, but I kept my mouth zipped when a family member recently married his high school gf at 23.

They’re in committed long distance relationships all through college or they break up and then circle back after graduation?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I got married at 23 and had my first at 26, in law school. People acted like I was a teen mom. It was ridiculous. I’ve been married for 17 years and I’m really happy with my choices. I have health problems now that could have kept me from having kids in my 30s. So I’m really glad I got that done in my 20s and I would recommend for my children to do the same.

At the same time, I was fairly mature at 23 and knew what I wanted. I knew DH was a good partner.

I wish I could have had children younger. I don't see what the big deal is. Think of how young you'll be when the nest empties!

I’ll be 46 and an empty nester MUAHAHAHA.

My 20s were hard but I’m happy DH was with me. He is the one who put me through law school. We had marriage, law school, babies overlapping and it was super hard but by my mid 30s life was so pleasant. Now nearing 40 my kids are older and I am really enjoying my life. I didn’t travel or date a lot but DH and I have had some fun trips while my parents stay with the kids.

It always stands out to me that young parents seem thrilled to be empty nesters and “enjoying my life.” There is this mindset that you’re happy the phase of having kids is over with.

Did you not enjoy having kids?
Perhaps you had to give up so much in your 20s and you feel like your time is finally your own? I can imagine you had virtually no time to yourself and had to struggle through lawschool if you had young babies at the same time.

I can’t imagine viewing having a family the way you do. I loved my time in my 20s and it’s now great to have a young family in my 40s.

+1! I read that and thought that sounds sad to be so giddy about your kids being gone. I was married young (23) but waited until 30s for kids. I’m glad we still have a way to go with them under my roof. In my 40s now.

Agree with this. I'm happy for anyone who is happy with their life choices, but I'd rather have kids later and spend much of my middle age years with kids in the house because this is when I most want to be home and don't feel curtailed by kids. I went out and traveled a lot in my 20s and early 30s -- by the time I got pregnant that was no longer as appealing to me and I was very ready to stay in more and have a more family-centric life. And no I was not out drinking and doing drugs and sleeping around -- I was just going out to dinner with friends, traveling to fun places, dating (but not having a ton of sex actually), and trying new hobbies. And now I'm eating dinners with my family and helping with homework and sewing halloween costumes... and happily going to bed at 9:30pm on a Friday.

This. Can’t imagine wanting my life to be limited by kids in my 20s. Someone who thinks this is the best option simply missed out on their 20s and doesn’t know any better.

You may as well try to convince me that the best time to have kids is high school.

You are limited by kids later then. This is not better or worse just different. They get their freedom too just later.

So if you spend Saturday night at home and hit the playground in the afternoon - you’d rather do this at 26 as opposed to 42?

At 42 you think you’ll have the same desire to party, socialize and travel that you did at 26? Even if I didn’t have kids, I can’t handle alcohol like I did at 26 and have slowed down significantly. I prefer evenings at home and my large suburban house.

This is ignoring a woman’s career and earning potential is way more limited by having children young. When I was 26 I would have had less parental leave and less flexibility.

My guess is you missed out on your 20s so you don’t know any better.

Not me. Loved my 20s, did a lot of traveling then and now as a family with 3 kids - had my first at 28. But handling teens at 46 takes a lot of energy out of me, can’t imagine doing that ten years later.

Your teens take a lot of energy out of you?

Maybe you never emotionally matured enough to handle them.

Jesus Christ, what an unnecessary and vicious response.

Pp must not have teens. My 13yo is driving me nuts and I’m sure he will continue to rebel in his teens. My 15yo is a dream.

Two teens. They could be driving me nuts if I wasn’t capable of stepping back and handling the situation like an adult.

How’s that? By trolling on DCUM?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Very pretty daughter of multi-millionaire congressman and Fox News host married at age 22, right after graduating from prestigious UChicago.

https://radio.foxnews.com/2022/06/22/a-duffy-family-wedding-the-joys-and-stress/

You mean the spawn of RWNJs are getting married? Ok. That makes more sense.

Millionaire family. Midwest not south. Ivy League tier college.

And yet…MAGA trash.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I got married at 23 and had my first at 26, in law school. People acted like I was a teen mom. It was ridiculous. I’ve been married for 17 years and I’m really happy with my choices. I have health problems now that could have kept me from having kids in my 30s. So I’m really glad I got that done in my 20s and I would recommend for my children to do the same.

At the same time, I was fairly mature at 23 and knew what I wanted. I knew DH was a good partner.

I wish I could have had children younger. I don't see what the big deal is. Think of how young you'll be when the nest empties!

I’ll be 46 and an empty nester MUAHAHAHA.

My 20s were hard but I’m happy DH was with me. He is the one who put me through law school. We had marriage, law school, babies overlapping and it was super hard but by my mid 30s life was so pleasant. Now nearing 40 my kids are older and I am really enjoying my life. I didn’t travel or date a lot but DH and I have had some fun trips while my parents stay with the kids.

It always stands out to me that young parents seem thrilled to be empty nesters and “enjoying my life.” There is this mindset that you’re happy the phase of having kids is over with.

Did you not enjoy having kids?
Perhaps you had to give up so much in your 20s and you feel like your time is finally your own? I can imagine you had virtually no time to yourself and had to struggle through lawschool if you had young babies at the same time.

I can’t imagine viewing having a family the way you do. I loved my time in my 20s and it’s now great to have a young family in my 40s.

+1! I read that and thought that sounds sad to be so giddy about your kids being gone. I was married young (23) but waited until 30s for kids. I’m glad we still have a way to go with them under my roof. In my 40s now.

Agree with this. I'm happy for anyone who is happy with their life choices, but I'd rather have kids later and spend much of my middle age years with kids in the house because this is when I most want to be home and don't feel curtailed by kids. I went out and traveled a lot in my 20s and early 30s -- by the time I got pregnant that was no longer as appealing to me and I was very ready to stay in more and have a more family-centric life. And no I was not out drinking and doing drugs and sleeping around -- I was just going out to dinner with friends, traveling to fun places, dating (but not having a ton of sex actually), and trying new hobbies. And now I'm eating dinners with my family and helping with homework and sewing halloween costumes... and happily going to bed at 9:30pm on a Friday.

This. Can’t imagine wanting my life to be limited by kids in my 20s. Someone who thinks this is the best option simply missed out on their 20s and doesn’t know any better.

You may as well try to convince me that the best time to have kids is high school.

You are limited by kids later then. This is not better or worse just different. They get their freedom too just later.

So if you spend Saturday night at home and hit the playground in the afternoon - you’d rather do this at 26 as opposed to 42?

At 42 you think you’ll have the same desire to party, socialize and travel that you did at 26? Even if I didn’t have kids, I can’t handle alcohol like I did at 26 and have slowed down significantly. I prefer evenings at home and my large suburban house.

This is ignoring a woman’s career and earning potential is way more limited by having children young. When I was 26 I would have had less parental leave and less flexibility.

My guess is you missed out on your 20s so you don’t know any better.

Not me. Loved my 20s, did a lot of traveling then and now as a family with 3 kids - had my first at 28. But handling teens at 46 takes a lot of energy out of me, can’t imagine doing that ten years later.

Your teens take a lot of energy out of you?

Maybe you never emotionally matured enough to handle them.

Jesus Christ, what an unnecessary and vicious response.

Pp must not have teens. My 13yo is driving me nuts and I’m sure he will continue to rebel in his teens. My 15yo is a dream.

Two teens. They could be driving me nuts if I wasn’t capable of stepping back and handling the situation like an adult.

How’s that? By trolling on DCUM?

I’m sorry you are struggling with your teens. Lashing out at others isn’t going to help. Get some parent training or something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I got married at 23 and had my first at 26, in law school. People acted like I was a teen mom. It was ridiculous. I’ve been married for 17 years and I’m really happy with my choices. I have health problems now that could have kept me from having kids in my 30s. So I’m really glad I got that done in my 20s and I would recommend for my children to do the same.

At the same time, I was fairly mature at 23 and knew what I wanted. I knew DH was a good partner.

I wish I could have had children younger. I don't see what the big deal is. Think of how young you'll be when the nest empties!

I’ll be 46 and an empty nester MUAHAHAHA.

My 20s were hard but I’m happy DH was with me. He is the one who put me through law school. We had marriage, law school, babies overlapping and it was super hard but by my mid 30s life was so pleasant. Now nearing 40 my kids are older and I am really enjoying my life. I didn’t travel or date a lot but DH and I have had some fun trips while my parents stay with the kids.

It always stands out to me that young parents seem thrilled to be empty nesters and “enjoying my life.” There is this mindset that you’re happy the phase of having kids is over with.

Did you not enjoy having kids?
Perhaps you had to give up so much in your 20s and you feel like your time is finally your own? I can imagine you had virtually no time to yourself and had to struggle through lawschool if you had young babies at the same time.

I can’t imagine viewing having a family the way you do. I loved my time in my 20s and it’s now great to have a young family in my 40s.

+1! I read that and thought that sounds sad to be so giddy about your kids being gone. I was married young (23) but waited until 30s for kids. I’m glad we still have a way to go with them under my roof. In my 40s now.

Agree with this. I'm happy for anyone who is happy with their life choices, but I'd rather have kids later and spend much of my middle age years with kids in the house because this is when I most want to be home and don't feel curtailed by kids. I went out and traveled a lot in my 20s and early 30s -- by the time I got pregnant that was no longer as appealing to me and I was very ready to stay in more and have a more family-centric life. And no I was not out drinking and doing drugs and sleeping around -- I was just going out to dinner with friends, traveling to fun places, dating (but not having a ton of sex actually), and trying new hobbies. And now I'm eating dinners with my family and helping with homework and sewing halloween costumes... and happily going to bed at 9:30pm on a Friday.

This. Can’t imagine wanting my life to be limited by kids in my 20s. Someone who thinks this is the best option simply missed out on their 20s and doesn’t know any better.

You may as well try to convince me that the best time to have kids is high school.

You are limited by kids later then. This is not better or worse just different. They get their freedom too just later.

So if you spend Saturday night at home and hit the playground in the afternoon - you’d rather do this at 26 as opposed to 42?

At 42 you think you’ll have the same desire to party, socialize and travel that you did at 26? Even if I didn’t have kids, I can’t handle alcohol like I did at 26 and have slowed down significantly. I prefer evenings at home and my large suburban house.

This is ignoring a woman’s career and earning potential is way more limited by having children young. When I was 26 I would have had less parental leave and less flexibility.

My guess is you missed out on your 20s so you don’t know any better.

Not me. Loved my 20s, did a lot of traveling then and now as a family with 3 kids - had my first at 28. But handling teens at 46 takes a lot of energy out of me, can’t imagine doing that ten years later.

Your teens take a lot of energy out of you?

Maybe you never emotionally matured enough to handle them.

Jesus Christ, what an unnecessary and vicious response.

Pp must not have teens. My 13yo is driving me nuts and I’m sure he will continue to rebel in his teens. My 15yo is a dream.

Two teens. They could be driving me nuts if I wasn’t capable of stepping back and handling the situation like an adult.

How’s that? By trolling on DCUM?

I’m sorry you are struggling with your teens. Lashing out at others isn’t going to help. Get some parent training or something.

This is a 40 page thread so forgive me for having some details confused.

Are you, PP, part of the “mature” crowd that married in your 30s and had a kid or two in your 40s?

Or are you one of those “immature” kids who got married in their early to mid 20s?

Either way, you really need to work on your sh!t talking. I’m sure your teens find you completely embarrassing.

[Anonymous]

Virginia Tech alum and pro baseball player Kerry Carpenter married his wife Lauren this spring, when he was 26 and she was 23. She grew up in Oregon and is already pregnant.. Kerry hit a game-winning home run tonight.

https://www.instagram.com/laurenburke5

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Virginia Tech alum and pro baseball player Kerry Carpenter married his wife Lauren this spring, when he was 26 and she was 23. She grew up in Oregon and is already pregnant.. Kerry hit a game-winning home run tonight.

https://www.instagram.com/laurenburke5

What a
Cute couple!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Virginia Tech alum and pro baseball player Kerry Carpenter married his wife Lauren this spring, when he was 26 and she was 23. She grew up in Oregon and is already pregnant.. Kerry hit a game-winning home run tonight.

https://www.instagram.com/laurenburke5

I am sure the lives of Brittany mahomes and Kylie Kelce are appealing to many young impressionable girls.

I remember a guy friend saying that women should find a spouse during their peak years (by 25). At the time, I was 26 and had been dating my boyfriend for a year. I do think you have the most choices in your early to mid twenties. Your dating pool is everyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I got married at 23 and had my first at 26, in law school. People acted like I was a teen mom. It was ridiculous. I’ve been married for 17 years and I’m really happy with my choices. I have health problems now that could have kept me from having kids in my 30s. So I’m really glad I got that done in my 20s and I would recommend for my children to do the same.

At the same time, I was fairly mature at 23 and knew what I wanted. I knew DH was a good partner.

I wish I could have had children younger. I don't see what the big deal is. Think of how young you'll be when the nest empties!

I’ll be 46 and an empty nester MUAHAHAHA.

My 20s were hard but I’m happy DH was with me. He is the one who put me through law school. We had marriage, law school, babies overlapping and it was super hard but by my mid 30s life was so pleasant. Now nearing 40 my kids are older and I am really enjoying my life. I didn’t travel or date a lot but DH and I have had some fun trips while my parents stay with the kids.

It always stands out to me that young parents seem thrilled to be empty nesters and “enjoying my life.” There is this mindset that you’re happy the phase of having kids is over with.

Did you not enjoy having kids?
Perhaps you had to give up so much in your 20s and you feel like your time is finally your own? I can imagine you had virtually no time to yourself and had to struggle through lawschool if you had young babies at the same time.

I can’t imagine viewing having a family the way you do. I loved my time in my 20s and it’s now great to have a young family in my 40s.

+1! I read that and thought that sounds sad to be so giddy about your kids being gone. I was married young (23) but waited until 30s for kids. I’m glad we still have a way to go with them under my roof. In my 40s now.

Agree with this. I'm happy for anyone who is happy with their life choices, but I'd rather have kids later and spend much of my middle age years with kids in the house because this is when I most want to be home and don't feel curtailed by kids. I went out and traveled a lot in my 20s and early 30s -- by the time I got pregnant that was no longer as appealing to me and I was very ready to stay in more and have a more family-centric life. And no I was not out drinking and doing drugs and sleeping around -- I was just going out to dinner with friends, traveling to fun places, dating (but not having a ton of sex actually), and trying new hobbies. And now I'm eating dinners with my family and helping with homework and sewing halloween costumes... and happily going to bed at 9:30pm on a Friday.

This. Can’t imagine wanting my life to be limited by kids in my 20s. Someone who thinks this is the best option simply missed out on their 20s and doesn’t know any better.

You may as well try to convince me that the best time to have kids is high school.

You are limited by kids later then. This is not better or worse just different. They get their freedom too just later.

So if you spend Saturday night at home and hit the playground in the afternoon - you’d rather do this at 26 as opposed to 42?

At 42 you think you’ll have the same desire to party, socialize and travel that you did at 26? Even if I didn’t have kids, I can’t handle alcohol like I did at 26 and have slowed down significantly. I prefer evenings at home and my large suburban house.

This is ignoring a woman’s career and earning potential is way more limited by having children young. When I was 26 I would have had less parental leave and less flexibility.

My guess is you missed out on your 20s so you don’t know any better.

Not me. Loved my 20s, did a lot of traveling then and now as a family with 3 kids - had my first at 28. But handling teens at 46 takes a lot of energy out of me, can’t imagine doing that ten years later.

Your teens take a lot of energy out of you?

Maybe you never emotionally matured enough to handle them.

Jesus Christ, what an unnecessary and vicious response.

Pp must not have teens. My 13yo is driving me nuts and I’m sure he will continue to rebel in his teens. My 15yo is a dream.

Two teens. They could be driving me nuts if I wasn’t capable of stepping back and handling the situation like an adult.

How’s that? By trolling on DCUM?

I’m sorry you are struggling with your teens. Lashing out at others isn’t going to help. Get some parent training or something.

This is a 40 page thread so forgive me for having some details confused.

Are you, PP, part of the “mature” crowd that married in your 30s and had a kid or two in your 40s?

Or are you one of those “immature” kids who got married in their early to mid 20s?

Either way, you really need to work on your sh!t talking. I’m sure your teens find you completely embarrassing.

I’m the PP who isn’t triggered by teens or DCUM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Virginia Tech alum and pro baseball player Kerry Carpenter married his wife Lauren this spring, when he was 26 and she was 23. She grew up in Oregon and is already pregnant. Kerry hit a game-winning home run tonight.

https://www.instagram.com/laurenburke5

What a
Cute couple!!

No, they must be crazy right wingers trying to be trad. They should have serial dated randos for another 10 years before settling down.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Virginia Tech alum and pro baseball player Kerry Carpenter married his wife Lauren this spring, when he was 26 and she was 23. She grew up in Oregon and is already pregnant. Kerry hit a game-winning home run tonight.

https://www.instagram.com/laurenburke5

Just another bogus anecdote!