Disinterested Dad
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Anonymous
| DH was involved with DD1 at the early beginning baby phases since she was our first. DD2 came 17 months later. And since then he just doesn't contribute that much except for cooking a meal here and there. He makes time for himself and all his activities, but is so clueless when it comes to the kids. They are 9 snd 10 now, and honestly, they don't seem to care for being with him either. They love him but want limited doses so I guess the feeling is mutual. I am moreso venting because it gets frustrating and has been. It just amazes me how different men and women are. Please don't start blasting about that comment. I know that there are some men out there that don't fit that mold, but the majority do. What makes a man grow up to be not so clueless and selfish? |
Anonymous
| I wouldn't guess that the majority are like your husband. Why do you think that? |
Anonymous
+1 |
Anonymous
| My husband loves playing with the kids. He had to get better at the work side of things, but he's a better playmate than I am. Can they join an interest he shares? Do any of them seem unhappy? Maybe he's the parent they'll end up leaning on for advice or find more to talk about as they get older. |
Anonymous
| It's pure sexism. This is why we have feminism. |
Anonymous
|
Women do more of the childcare, statistically. My husband didn't do much. He improved when our son was about 14 months old and could interact much more. I have "given" certain kid-related duties to my husband over the years, to make him interact with our son more. They have alone time for 3 hours a day most weekdays because of my husband's odd work hours. That forces them to have a relationship. I also make my husband attend our son's sports and music events. It's still not even, but I've been able to foster a good relationship between father and son.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/parenting/wp/2015/05/07/once-the-baby-comes-moms-do-more-dads-do-less-around-the-house/ |
Anonymous
| Huh? My husband is the main parent. Except for nursing, he is better at everything child-related than I am. |
Anonymous
| I think you have an extremely unusual situation, OP. Most fathers today are really active in their kids' lives. |
Anonymous
No. Some fathers are active in their kids lives. More than half are useless when it comes to discipline or child related chores. |
Anonymous
| My husband is also disinterested, unless they happen to like an interest of his. He spends little time with them, knows little about their lives, and is not very affectionate toward them. I think he's making a mistake, but you are not alone, OP. |
Anonymous
You're projecting your own life incorrectly onto the masses. This isn't actually, you know, true. |
Anonymous
Cites, please! |
Anonymous
You first, hun. |
Anonymous
| Are you saying the majority of men are selfish and clueless? Maybe your husband but not mine and not most in DCUM who work their asses off and come home and help take care of kids. Sorry OP. Maybe talk to him about it. |
Anonymous
|
Sorry, OP. Sounds like a sad situation.
Did you unintentionally push him aside when the girls were young? Do you think he is angry that he has two girls instead of a son and daughter? I feel sad for your daughters and your husband. He's missing out. |