For the first time in my life I hate summer.

[Anonymous]

Please help. Getting the kids to do anything - sign up for camp, classes, activities, or even go out for the day is nearly impossible. We can't afford to have them sign up, then not attend. Their friends aren't around, for the most part. Ages are preteens. Any constructive suggestions? Anyone in the same boat? I know a lot of parents just sign their kids up for things, but without DH on board, it is nearly impossible. I feel overwhelmed.

[Anonymous]

Do you need your husband's permission to pee? sign the kids up for something. Drop them off. Pretty simple.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you need your husband's permission to pee? sign the kids up for something. Drop them off. Pretty simple.

What? No. DC need convincing. I am asking for advice from parents with difficult children.

[Anonymous]

I don't understand. You don't appear to be working. Is that correct? Why would you put them in camp if that's the case?

If you are working and the kids and husband refuse to cooperate, where are the kids all day?

And I agree with the first PP. Why is this hard for you to do on your own?

[Anonymous]

What the pp said. They get 2-3 options early in the season. If they don't choose you choose for them and drop them off.
Do you SAH? My parents didn't so I needed to be somewhere supervised during the day so I went to day camp all summer.
Also most stuff filled up back in February. Was there no Summer plan discussion in your family then? are you going on vacation at some point?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you need your husband's permission to pee? sign the kids up for something. Drop them off. Pretty simple.

What? No. DC need convincing. I am asking for advice from parents with difficult children.

Convincing to do what? You don't have to convince them to to go school. They just have to go. Same thing in summer. They have to go do whatever you decide they have to go do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand. You don't appear to be working. Is that correct? Why would you put them in camp if that's the case?

If you are working and the kids and husband refuse to cooperate, where are the kids all day?

And I agree with the first PP. Why is this hard for you to do on your own?

DH and I work different shifts. Easy to pit parents against each other. DH gives in much more easily than I, claims he is tired.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you need your husband's permission to pee? sign the kids up for something. Drop them off. Pretty simple.

What? No. DC need convincing. I am asking for advice from parents with difficult children.

Convincing to do what? You don't have to convince them to to go school. They just have to go. Same thing in summer. They have to go do whatever you decide they have to go do.

OP here. You don't ask them what camps or what interests? DC has no say then, right? At all?

[Anonymous]

Is this a troll?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you need your husband's permission to pee? sign the kids up for something. Drop them off. Pretty simple.

What? No. DC need convincing. I am asking for advice from parents with difficult children.

Convincing to do what? You don't have to convince them to to go school. They just have to go. Same thing in summer. They have to go do whatever you decide they have to go do.

OP here. You don't ask them what camps or what interests? DC has no say then, right? At all?

Back on the olden days (early 90s), no I didn't have a choice to just stay home and do nothing. One summer I was a full time baby sitter, the next summer I took a drafting class, and the summer after that I started working at McDonald's. I could choose what to do with my mother's approval, but "nothing" wasn't on the list.

[Anonymous]

OP are you afraid that your kids will get bored or missing out on things? Give yourself a break... just do what you can afford. Give the kids daily reading & math homework. Assign daily chores around the house. Also let them entertain themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Please help. Getting the kids to do anything - sign up for camp, classes, activities, or even go out for the day is nearly impossible. We can't afford to have them sign up, then not attend. Their friends aren't around, for the most part. Ages are preteens. Any constructive suggestions? Anyone in the same boat? I know a lot of parents just sign their kids up for things, but without DH on board, it is nearly impossible. I feel overwhelmed.

Oh - and if they don't want to go to camp, every square inch of your house should be white glove clean and your yard should be beautiful courtesy of their labor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you need your husband's permission to pee? sign the kids up for something. Drop them off. Pretty simple.

What? No. DC need convincing. I am asking for advice from parents with difficult children.

Convincing to do what? You don't have to convince them to to go school. They just have to go. Same thing in summer. They have to go do whatever you decide they have to go do.

OP here. You don't ask them what camps or what interests? DC has no say then, right? At all?

Different PP, but... I try to pick things they'll like, but sometimes they have to suck it up at a camp they don't like for a week. Good lord. We *all* have to do things we don't want to do. This is a life skill they will need.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you need your husband's permission to pee? sign the kids up for something. Drop them off. Pretty simple.

What? No. DC need convincing. I am asking for advice from parents with difficult children.

Convincing to do what? You don't have to convince them to to go school. They just have to go. Same thing in summer. They have to go do whatever you decide they have to go do.

OP here. You don't ask them what camps or what interests? DC has no say then, right? At all?

Of course they get a say. I'm the pp that said give 2-3 or however many options early on. I know my kid and have a general idea what they would like. So they get options when we decide on summer plans, including camps and vacations etc. then either they pick or if they dawdle and it's close to deadline then I pick. Summer is long. It's not just one single activity. But DH and I are always on the same page and ate a united front. And if we are not we get there before making decisions. We are schedule people. Not to say over scheduled with activities but pay attention to the calendar all the time since we have work and work trips and volunteer commitments and family close that wants to hang out so we pay attention to their vacation plans etc. So months and weeks are planned out and then we can be flexible if need be. And if we decide that a weekend day is for doing nothing but lounging and reading or the pool or whatever, we can do that too.

[Anonymous]

These things have to be decided well in advance - it's like registering for courses in middle and high school and charting a course to a good college (which I hope you're doing).

Before school ended, you should have discussed this as a family, and thrashed out a compromise: the part in the Venn diagram where their interests, your money and your logistics coincide.

They are not allowed to do nothing.
They have to do something constructive, either structured by others (camps and classes) or themselves (in that case they have to agree to being checked every now and then by you).
They also have to keep up their academic skills, so as to start the new school year without a hitch.