When to start TTC when you feel like you aren't sure you are ready...

[Anonymous]

Having had very irregular cycles, a Dx of PCOS and hormonal imbalances through my 20s, I was told it was unlikely I'd get pregnant without help. Luckily my DH knew that as soon as we were married, I'd want to be casual with BC and let be what would be. At 30yo we ended up pregnant the first month ovulating and DTD...we were overjoyed and a little nervous because it all went fast after that. Fast forward, and we have a 4.5yo and have actively been avoiding conception ever since. Initially we wanted to have some spacing, recovery time etc...then when DD turned 3 the plan was to start TTC, only that coincided with an out of state move, job changes, and general life chaos so we put that plan on hold, saying this would be the magic year. Well, I turned 35yo, and have pretty regular cycles, and we still want another child, BUT it feels like we have another year before we have al our ducks in a row, which means looking to start TTC at 36yo for me. Is this crazy? Should we be starting sooner? I now am worrying about the "what ifs" of it not happening the first month we try. Do we throw caution to the wind and just plan to deal if I were to get pregnant right away? (We have another big move coming up in the fall.) We are serious about TTC, but wouldn't do ART at this point, and would find peace in our singleton...argh, life.

[Anonymous]

you might want to go to a doctor and get day three testing done, just so you understand fully what you are dealing with. (E2, FSH, AMH, P4... also vit D and TSH).

But I'd probably just say go for it now.

[Anonymous]

On one hand, you shouldn't try before a baby would be welcome. On the other hand, there is no perfect time when all your ducks will be in a row. Next year, there will be something. So, since you're already in your mid-thirties I definetly wouldn't keep waiting. I have PCOS too, and we are trying for a second now. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Pregnancy is long. You'll have time to figure it all out. I say go for it.

Also, in 10 years looking back, what will seem like the bigger mistake? Trying too soon, or waiting too long?

[Anonymous]

Start trying now. You really don't know how long it will take you to conceive again. I conceived my DC1 on the first try but 3 years later it took us 8 months of actively trying. We were using OPKs, I was charting and we were timing sex seemingly perfectly. I was 37 at that time, so I went for all the testing and everything came back completely normal, so there is no explanation for why it took us longer the second time. Given your PCOS history, I wouldn't wait if you are serious about having a second. Even if you get pregnant this month, you won't be that far along by the time you move in the fall. As PPs have pointed out, there really is never going to be a perfect time.

[Anonymous]

We've gone through similar discussions/life changes since DD was 2 - he's now 3.5 and we finally decided to just go for it. As others have said, there is no perfect time. And now I am worried about secondary infertility and nervous that we waited too long! One thing that helped me was to think that pregnancy is 10 months long, so there'd be plenty of time to get ready once I got pregant. We are 3 months in now, not pregnant yet, and I'm already starting to think we should've begun sooner! I think you really just have to think about how you'd feel either way. I will say, I wanted to get to the point where I wouldn't be upset if it happened right away - I think you have to plan that it might happen right away, you never know - but also assume it could take a few months or longer.

[And I wouldn't bother with bloodwork at this point. I doubt any doctor would do anything about it anyway without you at least trying on your own first. I have some things that could potentially make pregnancy difficult and my OB said he wasn't concerned about seeing bloodwork until at least 4 months in...especially since I got pregnant once already.]

[Anonymous]

I'd start trying. If you conceive within the next few months, you'll have your baby a year from now, right at the time your ducks will be in a row!

[Anonymous]

I'm 31 and have PCOS as well, and we're trying for our first. Just got another round of testing this morning, and starting our first round of Clomid this month. I've been waiting and waiting to feel ready, but it seems like that feeling may not come for me. And the truth is, having a baby will only get harder from here, not easier. I know I want to have kids, so waiting until i ache for a baby isn't really helpful for me. I don't know whether my ducks will all be in a row, but I know there will never be a perfect time to completely change my life. So we're trying! Best of luck to you, no matter what you decide.

[Anonymous]

For many people there's no such thing as ready. If you want another one, you should go for it, and the sooner the better given the realities of aging.