Help with odd social behavior - 4 year old

[Anonymous]

So my son has speech issues, fine motor delay, motor planning issues and just generally is immature. Right now we know ADHD. Will prob get more diagnoses in the future. Preschool has been very difficult. He does bizarre things socially. Like tonight, we had friends with a baby over. He kept making scary faces at the baby and trying to hit him. I've caught him hiding in slides, tube ones, to hit. He's often aggressive and grabs. I don't get it. We leave every time, or at home, full, long time out. What do I do here? He clearly knows it's wrong and so gets obsessive. Big negative attention seeker. Anyone deal with anything similar ever?

[Anonymous]

What kind of speech issues? That can cause behavioral issues, especially at 4 and can impact fine motor as well as motor planning.

[Anonymous]

The behavior might stem from different things--attention getting, inability to regulate, not knowing how to express himself/communicate.

If he does this a lot during school, I would definitely think about doing the public preschool or some other option that helps address the behavior. As a parent I found behavioral therapy helpful. You may also want to consider medication if he really is unable to regulate himself.

[Anonymous]

When my child was in PK4, he hit his classmates. The teachers said that it wasn't meanness or aggression, but as if he wanted to see what would happen, what their reaction would be. I thought it was because he wanted to engage, but didn't know how. Later that year, he was diagnosed with autism.

But, like the pp said, it could be a lot of things. Do you have a developmental pediatrician? Who diagnosed the ADHD?

[Anonymous]

A lot at school. Would medication help with this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When my child was in PK4, he hit his classmates. The teachers said that it wasn't meanness or aggression, but as if he wanted to see what would happen, what their reaction would be. I thought it was because he wanted to engage, but didn't know how. Later that year, he was diagnosed with autism.

But, like the pp said, it could be a lot of things. Do you have a developmental pediatrician? Who diagnosed the ADHD?[/quote
We do - I don't think it's autism, at least right now. He's overly social - just so bad at it. Like attempts to engage aggressively constantly. Also very easy to transition. Transistions all day! Pretty sure it's very bad ADHD and some lds of some type.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What kind of speech issues? That can cause behavioral issues, especially at 4 and can impact fine motor as well as motor planning.

He had a receptive delay described as "mild" and now tests in low average. I suspect that it is a bit of that but that delay is also somewhat I think due to his severe ADHD. When they explained the test results he knew all the stuff and he responds if you get angry every time. He understands. He even hides to hit/kick/grab now. It's so frustrating.

[Anonymous]

ADHD meds could help with this. My 6 year old is just so much more regulated on them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When my child was in PK4, he hit his classmates. The teachers said that it wasn't meanness or aggression, but as if he wanted to see what would happen, what their reaction would be. I thought it was because he wanted to engage, but didn't know how. Later that year, he was diagnosed with autism.

But, like the pp said, it could be a lot of things. Do you have a developmental pediatrician? Who diagnosed the ADHD?[/quote
We do - I don't think it's autism, at least right now. He's overly social - just so bad at it. Like attempts to engage aggressively constantly. Also very easy to transition. Transistions all day! Pretty sure it's very bad ADHD and some lds of some type.

Well, just to be sure, you'll actually need to take him to a developmental pediatrician. Get on the waitlist at KKI and Children's and take whichever appointment comes up first. Just so you know, OP, kids on the spectrum can be social and overly social. Also, you want to be sure it's ADHD if you're thinking of medicating, so you're actually medicating the correct thing.

Also, just from what you described, my guess is that your kid will need an IEP by the time he gets to elementary school if he doesn't have one already. An evaluation with a developmental pediatrician will help lay the ground work for what you might need for an IEP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What kind of speech issues? That can cause behavioral issues, especially at 4 and can impact fine motor as well as motor planning.

He had a receptive delay described as "mild" and now tests in low average. I suspect that it is a bit of that but that delay is also somewhat I think due to his severe ADHD. When they explained the test results he knew all the stuff and he responds if you get angry every time. He understands. He even hides to hit/kick/grab now. It's so frustrating.

A lot of kids with receptive language have behavioral issues. Hitting is not normal but they get frustrated and cannot not easily express themselves well. It should get better in time. I'd be careful about medicating without being fully clear what is going on. He can be very bright, take it all in but still lag in receptive skills more than he is testing.

[Anonymous]

I think the extreme reaction that young children get when misbehavior to a baby is involved can thrill and excite them wildly. I've seen this happen with typical children as well. I think the baby's vulnerability also brings out a little sadism in them. I'm not talking about sociopathy. I'm talking about cause and effect -- Wow! I have the power to pinch this baby and there's nothing this baby can do about it! Mighty Me!

I don't find this bizarre. I've seen young children act like this. They are young children. It's inappropriate, definitely, and in these circumstances you immediately separately the young child from the visiting baby. He goes to his room to play on his own for the rest of the visit and doesn't get any of the delicious treats the company gets to enjoy. Period. He learns he cannot treat a baby that way.

[Anonymous]

We have a dev ped and an iep. I said pretty sure because things are obviously evolving still at 4. The response above really makes sense; thank you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When my child was in PK4, he hit his classmates. The teachers said that it wasn't meanness or aggression, but as if he wanted to see what would happen, what their reaction would be. I thought it was because he wanted to engage, but didn't know how. Later that year, he was diagnosed with autism.

But, like the pp said, it could be a lot of things. Do you have a developmental pediatrician? Who diagnosed the ADHD?

We do - I don't think it's autism, at least right now. He's overly social - just so bad at it. Like attempts to engage aggressively constantly. Also very easy to transition. Transistions all day! Pretty sure it's very bad ADHD and some lds of some type.

I'm of course not saying it's autism -- I don't know your kid. But many kids on the spectrum do as you describe -- want to be social, but go about it all wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When my child was in PK4, he hit his classmates. The teachers said that it wasn't meanness or aggression, but as if he wanted to see what would happen, what their reaction would be. I thought it was because he wanted to engage, but didn't know how. Later that year, he was diagnosed with autism.

But, like the pp said, it could be a lot of things. Do you have a developmental pediatrician? Who diagnosed the ADHD?

We do - I don't think it's autism, at least right now. He's overly social - just so bad at it. Like attempts to engage aggressively constantly. Also very easy to transition. Transistions all day! Pretty sure it's very bad ADHD and some lds of some type.

I'm of course not saying it's autism -- I don't know your kid. But many kids on the spectrum do as you describe -- want to be social, but go about it all wrong.

And so do all kids at some point in time. When you've got a hammer, everything looks like a nail.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When my child was in PK4, he hit his classmates. The teachers said that it wasn't meanness or aggression, but as if he wanted to see what would happen, what their reaction would be. I thought it was because he wanted to engage, but didn't know how. Later that year, he was diagnosed with autism.

But, like the pp said, it could be a lot of things. Do you have a developmental pediatrician? Who diagnosed the ADHD?

We do - I don't think it's autism, at least right now. He's overly social - just so bad at it. Like attempts to engage aggressively constantly. Also very easy to transition. Transistions all day! Pretty sure it's very bad ADHD and some lds of some type.

I'm of course not saying it's autism -- I don't know your kid. But many kids on the spectrum do as you describe -- want to be social, but go about it all wrong.

By this post, yes you are. Hi Autism MOM. Yes, all our kids here have autism just like yours.