I'm worried that I might not want children.

[Anonymous]

I always assumed I would be a mom from a young age.
After caring for kids for nearly a decade, I'm not certain I even like children. The crying, the whining, the constant demands it really just goes through my skin to the point of anger.
I'm moving onto a new career because I think I'm burnt out, but I'm also really thinking I don't want kids of my own.
I'm mostly annoyed by other people's kids ( family and friends) out sided of the ages I work with I can't relate to them.

The thing is I do want to be married and I feel like at my age guys want a wife who wants kids or the guy will already have kids.

The other issues is my family, there is no way they'd accept me not having kids not that I'd have kids just to appease them, but it's an issue.

I'm not total monster. I care about kids. I like volunteering with them as a bay cuddler or playgroups, but I just don't think I'm cut out for 24/7/365 forever.

Is there a way to know for sure?

[Anonymous]

I have multiple friends, all married, who don't want kids and don't have them. They're all happily married. Most have at least one pet.

[Anonymous]

I don't think there's really any way to tell except to have them and realize that you're glad or sorry that you did or not have them and realize that you're glad or sorry you didn't.

But. It's okay to not want kids, even if it means having changed your mind about it. I personally love it but totally get that it's not for everyone. I can say though that I also find everyone else's kids irritating, but not mine. I mean sometimes she is, but it's totally different in a way that's not easy to explain. (But it was never a question for me - I always assumed I would like being a parent.)

On the other hand, my cousin is very clearly decided against having kids despite that being HUGELY disappointing to her parents (who have a lot of siblings who in turn have a LOT of grandchildren). But you know what? They are all ok and still have good relationships with each other.

[Anonymous]

There's absolutely nothing wrong not wanting to have kids. There are lots of people who are childless by choice.

[Anonymous]

You can always adopt later on. Adopt a 4 or 5 year old.

[Anonymous]

At 36 I switched careers and became a first grade teacher (through an alternative licensure program). I did this because I loved children, I had just broken up with my BF who wouldn't put a ring on it, and wasn't sure I'd have kids. I still wanted to be around children and have them in my life. Now, 10 years later, I'm still teaching, and still don't have my own kids. But I have no regrets. I'm just too tired to even mull over it. Children are a colossal responsibility. As a teacher, I've encountered many, many parents who are overwhelmed and intimidated by parenthood. I think many people enter into it without realizing the magnitude of it. As for me, I get to be around 22 wonderful sweet ones, but then go home to blessed peace. I can also be a great auntie, and I am.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At 36 I switched careers and became a first grade teacher (through an alternative licensure program). I did this because I loved children, I had just broken up with my BF who wouldn't put a ring on it, and wasn't sure I'd have kids. I still wanted to be around children and have them in my life. Now, 10 years later, I'm still teaching, and still don't have my own kids. But I have no regrets. I'm just too tired to even mull over it. Children are a colossal responsibility. As a teacher, I've encountered many, many parents who are overwhelmed and intimidated by parenthood. I think many people enter into it without realizing the magnitude of it. As for me, I get to be around 22 wonderful sweet ones, but then go home to blessed peace. I can also be a great auntie, and I am.

I'm currently a preschool teacher and formerly a nanny. I'm worn out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think there's really any way to tell except to have them and realize that you're glad or sorry that you did or not have them and realize that you're glad or sorry you didn't.

But. It's okay to not want kids, even if it means having changed your mind about it. I personally love it but totally get that it's not for everyone. I can say though that I also find everyone else's kids irritating, but not mine. I mean sometimes she is, but it's totally different in a way that's not easy to explain. (But it was never a question for me - I always assumed I would like being a parent.)

On the other hand, my cousin is very clearly decided against having kids despite that being HUGELY disappointing to her parents (who have a lot of siblings who in turn have a LOT of grandchildren). But you know what? They are all ok and still have good relationships with each other.

This is what I struggle with!
I;m just really not sure.

[Anonymous]

I really don't like other people's kids much. I do love my own and love being a mother, though, so that's something to mull over, OP.

On the other hand, there is no reason to have kids if you don't want them. I think a life without kids would be awesome and fulfilling. If I had never had kids, my life would have been great but for the constant wondering about kids. I don't know why women who are so invested in their careers and work such long hours would saddle themselves with kids. I really don't get it.

[Anonymous]

How old are you, OP?

[Anonymous]

I did not want kids. When I hit my early 30s I changed my mind. If you don't want kids, don't have them. Not a bid deal. I have many friends who decided not to have kids. They are very happy and are very fulfilled.

[Anonymous]

So, I was exactly like you. I ended up having a child and she is my greatest joy in life.

What I learned is I don't like other peoples' kids that much. I don't dislike them but I'm definitely less tolerant (though I think I hide it well AND there are some I adore, like my nieces/nephews).

It's OK if you don't want kids. But, I would think about the possibility that maybe you do.

[Anonymous]

http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/us_5755ad72e4b0ed593f150443?ir=Women§ion=us_women&utm_hp_ref=women

[Anonymous]

I have them and love them but I look back very fondly on what my life used to be like and the energy I used to have. They are getting older so easier but still they have a tendancy to take over your life. Don't have them if you do not want to - enjoy your life and try to do a little good with it. Really that's all there is

[Anonymous]

After caring for small, unruly kids for ten years, you're burnt out. Take a year off from kids, take three. If at the end you're still sour on them, millions don't have children and they're okay. Many men don't want them. Stay in that tribe.

Oh, and ignore your family's wishes. Why some people let their families run roughshod over their lives I do not understand. Input is one thing, but having children to keep them happy? No.