DH's ex wife constantly asks him for money

[Anonymous]

My husband's ex wife is very needy. She's constantly begging him for money and will use their daughter as an excuse. DH tells her to tell him what she needs and he'll get it and she says no, she'll get it, but wants him to give her the money. When he says no, she tries to guilt trip him telling him she's struggling because of him so he'll cave in an give her money. It's obvious to me that she's using the money on herself, but I can't get DH to see it that way. What should I do?

[Anonymous]

Does he pay court-ordered child support?

[Anonymous]

Nothing. You do nothing. He will either continue to allow it or he will put his foot down.

Why does he cave? Is she right that she's struggling because of him? Who initiated the divorce? He may also be taking the path of least resistance and giving her the money to avoid a bigger fight.

Either way, you do nothing because there's no win for you here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nothing. You do nothing. He will either continue to allow it or he will put his foot down.

Why does he cave? Is she right that she's struggling because of him? Who initiated the divorce? He may also be taking the path of least resistance and giving her the money to avoid a bigger fight.

Either way, you do nothing because there's no win for you here.

+1 Sorry, OP, but the best action here is complete neutrality and inaction on your part. Get involved in any way, and you're wrong.

[Anonymous]

We got fed up and told her that we would be happy to pay for needs directly. Child wants to play soccer and mom will not use child support. Fine, send us the flyer and we will send the coach the payment. Send us what cleats he wants and other needs and we will send them. Need clothing. Ok, send a wish list with sizes, colors and brands. Need shoes, ok pick reasonably priced and we will buy. Need school supplies, send a list. Never heard back so apparently the need was fake or she wanted to take credit and slam dad for not helping.

[Anonymous]

Why was it on her to pick the shoes, clothes, etc? Take the kid shopping for goodness sake!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does he pay court-ordered child support?

Yes and she still asks for money!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nothing. You do nothing. He will either continue to allow it or he will put his foot down.

Why does he cave? Is she right that she's struggling because of him? Who initiated the divorce? He may also be taking the path of least resistance and giving her the money to avoid a bigger fight.

Either way, you do nothing because there's no win for you here.

He initiated the divorce, but she's struggling because she doesn't know how to spend her money wisely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does he pay court-ordered child support?

Yes and she still asks for money!

Do you have money to give? Then what's the problem?

This is really none of your business?

[Anonymous]

Too bad. You married a divorced man. It comes with the territory.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nothing. You do nothing. He will either continue to allow it or he will put his foot down.

Why does he cave? Is she right that she's struggling because of him? Who initiated the divorce? He may also be taking the path of least resistance and giving her the money to avoid a bigger fight.

Either way, you do nothing because there's no win for you here.

He initiated the divorce, but she's struggling because she doesn't know how to spend her money wisely.

Maybe she should ask you to help with setting up a budget

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nothing. You do nothing. He will either continue to allow it or he will put his foot down.

Why does he cave? Is she right that she's struggling because of him? Who initiated the divorce? He may also be taking the path of least resistance and giving her the money to avoid a bigger fight.

Either way, you do nothing because there's no win for you here.

He initiated the divorce, but she's struggling because she doesn't know how to spend her money wisely.

So he broke his vows. It is until DEATH do you part.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why was it on her to pick the shoes, clothes, etc? Take the kid shopping for goodness sake!

That is part of child support and custody.

[Anonymous]

I've been married to DH for 10 years. I learned long ago to keep my mouth shut when it comes to the ex. It's none of my business.

And you know what, I love him a lot for the way he treats her. If she is struggling and he can help, why shouldn't he? She is the mother of his children and as a child it sucks to see your mom struggle financially.

The other thing to remember is that how he treats her is a good indication of how he might treat you should your marriage not work out. Would you want to struggle if he could help you out?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've been married to DH for 10 years. I learned long ago to keep my mouth shut when it comes to the ex. It's none of my business.

And you know what, I love him a lot for the way he treats her. If she is struggling and he can help, why shouldn't he? She is the mother of his children and as a child it sucks to see your mom struggle financially.

The other thing to remember is that how he treats her is a good indication of how he might treat you should your marriage not work out. Would you want to struggle if he could help you out?

Thank you for being an awesome person. We need more people like you in this world.