On whether to redshirt...
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Anonymous
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Everyone on here says, "you know your kid!" or "if he's ready, send him!"
DS (september birthday) is totally ready for Kindergarten, no question in my mind. But, "in real life" the advice I get is, he may be fine in kindergarten but the real issues pop up later when everyone else is - bigger - going through puberty - driving - etc. I hear smaller and younger kids have trouble socially, etc. Just a vent I guess... I just don't think it's as cut and dry as saying, "if he's ready now, send him". And yes, I know my kid at age 4, but not what he'll be like at 11... |
Anonymous
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I know my child, but I don't know many other 5 yar olds, so I didn't know how well DS would do in school. We chose to send him on time and he has had lots of behavior problems -- talking too much, being silly, talking too much...
Maybe we should have held him back. But that seems so helicopterish, so managiing. Every child struggles. DS is not struggling with academics, but he is struggling with behavior. How will he be in middle school, high school, beyond? I don't know. We'll find out. |
Anonymous
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There will always be a smaller kid. My son is the oldest in his class, but the second smallest. The youngest kid in his class happens to be the tallest.
You cant fight genetics and delaying your child for something like that is silly. It also sends a message that being the smallest or having delayed puberty is somehow a bad thing. Set him up for success regardless of what he encounters in the future. |
Anonymous
No one knows. You have to make decisions based on what you know at this moment, understanding that you may need to make adjustments later. It's silly to decide to redshirt a child who is ready now because of hypothetical problems later. |
Anonymous
| If he's ready, and you can, send them. I'd rather give a child a chance to succeed, even if they have to struggle a little rather than say, sorry, you can't do it, so we'll wait till you are older and hope you can then. I'm worried about meeting my child's needs now, not 10 years from now. If issues come up then, I'll deal with them, just like I deal with what we need to now. |
Anonymous
Delaying school when your kid is ready because ten years from now it might be a problem to be the youngest in the class is just silly. Someone is going to be the youngest. Someone is going to be the smallest (and it probably won't be the same kid). He's not going to be that different from the kids who have August birthdays, or July birthdays, or June birthdays. |
Anonymous
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At this rate, we'll have 8 year olds in Kindergarten because everyone is worried their child will be the smallest in the class. If your son is ready, send him. Redshirting is a great disservice to all the people who actually send their kids on time.
So what if he's not as good at sports? School is not about sports. |
Anonymous
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I would definitely send him.
I'd also like to add that's what best for a boy in 8th grade or high school might not be the best for them over all. I don't know about you guys, but the sorta geeky guys in high school who weren't tall & handsome are now leading super interesting lives and the popular jocks aren't doing too much. A HUGE generalization of course, but even if your kid is a little socially awkward in high school, is that such a bad thing? |
Anonymous
| I remember having the same thoughts and feelings but, ultimately, how can one make a decision based on total unknowns? We do the best we can with the information we have. I sent my two summer birthday boys and they have not had any issues whatsoever. If/when they do, we'll deal with it then. |
Anonymous
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I have four kids, all born between very late August and very late November. All four started on time (just turned 5 or not yet five) and all four then also skipped a grade (either first, second or fourth).
My son was small for his age, and then shot up the summer before 8th grade. At age 24, 5'11". Never had a problem. Oldest DD graduated from college last spring (doing a gap year before grad school) - was tiny for her age until 9th. Now 5'8". Never a problem. Two youngest seem to be following her growth pattern. I'm not worried about it. Someone will always be the youngest/smallest/tallest/biggest/oldest. |
Anonymous
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I would absolutely send him. There are always going to be some kids that are a little sillier and less mature than others. It isn't always about age. And for what it's worth - my boy, who just turned five in April, is extremely small. Smaller than some of the kids who will be a year behind him
in school. |
Anonymous
| I have found that the redshirted kids, at least in elementary school, have more social issues. They just don't fit in because they are too big or too mature for their peer group. |
Anonymous
+1 |
Anonymous
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I had the same kid. We redshirted. It gave him another year to play before jumping into the crazy educational environment that is in the DC area. Plus I didn't love the idea of a 7-8 hour day for a five year old. It was a great decision for him. He's the oldest in his class, has lots of friends, very advanced academically, but the school is adjusting to meet his needs with pull out groups (and he is not the only advanced kid). Most importantly, he is very very happy. No crying, no miserable adjustment to K. He's exhausted everyday, but in a manageable way. He is also able to manage his emotions at school and in his social life. Plus he likes school, and so many K kids hate it.
We anticipate the academics may be an issue down the line, but there is the HGC program or we may do private. |
Anonymous
Except for driving, all of the things you mentioned have a normal range for starting that spans a couple of years. You might be increasing your chances that your kid won't be the last to hit puberty etc by delaying him, but you can't guarantee it. Kids are going to have to deal with being different and overcoming challenges. You try to set them up in the best possible way, but you can't control everything. I was the youngest kid in my class (late December), and I was one of the first to get her period. It was normal as in not a medical concern, but it was the early end of normal. If my mom had held me back, I would've felt even more out of place as a fourth grader with her period instead of already feeling alone as a fifth grader. You really can't protect your kid from the future. |