On whether to redshirt...

[Anonymous]

I skipped a grade and have a June birthday, so I was not just the youngest in my grade, I was WAY younger than most kids (I was among the younger third in my original grade). Apart from not being able to drive until a year after my friends, it was fine--well, it was also annoying the summer after senior year, when my friends could go to clubs that allowed 18 and up and I couldn't go (I didn't turn 18 until summer between freshman and sophomore year of college). That's sort of the level of problem you are looking at.

In terms of fitting in with peers, puberty is all over the place--there were girls who started getting boobs in fourth grade, but I was an A cup until I had kids, so skipping didn't really matter there. I was always among the taller kids...probably because my parents were both tall. I am an introvert but I don't think skipping a grade had anything to do with that--I would have been basically the same kid with the same social issues in my original grade.

I guess my point is--a) you can't predict the future so don't try and b) a lot of these things are going to be what they are whether you redshirt or not, so why not send your kid on time.

Skipping, redshirting, and holding back are appropriate for outlier cases. The vast majority of kids should probably stick with their cohorts.

[Anonymous]

My brother was an October kid. He was very smart, but socially, in high school or all came back to hurt him. I wouldn't send a September kid, especially if he's your first, when there will be June 2010 kids in his class.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know my child, but I don't know many other 5 yar olds, so I didn't know how well DS would do in school. We chose to send him on time and he has had lots of behavior problems -- talking too much, being silly, talking too much...

Maybe we should have held him back. But that seems so helicopterish, so managiing. Every child struggles. DS is not struggling with academics, but he is struggling with behavior. How will he be in middle school, high school, beyond? I don't know. We'll find out.

My DS has a late October bday. He went on time and he talks too much too. So did I as a child so I think that maybe more genetics that age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Everyone on here says, "you know your kid!" or "if he's ready, send him!"

DS (september birthday) is totally ready for Kindergarten, no question in my mind. But, "in real life" the advice I get is, he may be fine in kindergarten but the real issues pop up later when everyone else is
- bigger
- going through puberty
- driving
- etc.

I hear smaller and younger kids have trouble socially, etc.

Just a vent I guess... I just don't think it's as cut and dry as saying, "if he's ready now, send him". And yes, I know my kid at age 4, but not what he'll be like at 11...

OP, Will he be 5 by the September 1 cut off? Doesn't sound like it. Not sending him to K this year isn't "redshirting." You're sending him on time. I'm not sure I understand why you have dilemma.

[Anonymous]

Not OP. The cutoff in VA is September 30, not September 1.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Everyone on here says, "you know your kid!" or "if he's ready, send him!"

DS (september birthday) is totally ready for Kindergarten, no question in my mind. But, "in real life" the advice I get is, he may be fine in kindergarten but the real issues pop up later when everyone else is
- bigger
- going through puberty
- driving
- etc.

I hear smaller and younger kids have trouble socially, etc.

Just a vent I guess... I just don't think it's as cut and dry as saying, "if he's ready now, send him". And yes, I know my kid at age 4, but not what he'll be like at 11...

OP, Will he be 5 by the September 1 cut off? Doesn't sound like it. Not sending him to K this year isn't "redshirting." You're sending him on time. I'm not sure I understand why you have dilemma.

OP could be in a district where it's 9/30, not 9/1.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have found that the redshirted kids, at least in elementary school, have more social issues. They just don't fit in because they are too big or too mature for their peer group.

I have found the opposite. The kids with the close to cutoff date birthdays were the ones who were disruptive and needed a lot of extra attention. Many of them would have done much better by waiting a year and they would only have been a few days to a few weeks older than the oldest kids on the other side of the cutoff date.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had the same kid. We redshirted. It gave him another year to play before jumping into the crazy educational environment that is in the DC area. Plus I didn't love the idea of a 7-8 hour day for a five year old. It was a great decision for him. He's the oldest in his class, has lots of friends, very advanced academically, but the school is adjusting to meet his needs with pull out groups (and he is not the only advanced kid). Most importantly, he is very very happy. No crying, no miserable adjustment to K. He's exhausted everyday, but in a manageable way. He is also able to manage his emotions at school and in his social life. Plus he likes school, and so many K kids hate it.

We anticipate the academics may be an issue down the line, but there is the HGC program or we may do private.

Of course he is academically advanced. He's a year older than everyone else.

[Anonymous]

I'm from PA with a late December birthday. I started K when I was 4 yo (and turned 5 in December). My mom wanted to hold me back in 1st grade, but the teacher talked her out of it since I had good reading skills. I was fine socially and had a lot of friends growing up who were a year older than me. I even have a couple friends who were a couple weeks older than me, but were a grade behind me. I don't think I paid attention to our age differences at the time, but I did when they turned 40 before me.

Do what you want and whatever that is will be the right decision for you at this time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have found that the redshirted kids, at least in elementary school, have more social issues. They just don't fit in because they are too big or too mature for their peer group.

Are you a teacher?

[Anonymous]

I have found that the redshirted kids, at least in elementary school, have more social issues. They just don't fit in because they are too big or too mature for their peer group.

Strongly disagree. Teacher.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I have found that the redshirted kids, at least in elementary school, have more social issues. They just don't fit in because they are too big or too mature for their peer group.

Strongly disagree. Teacher.

I am making this decision right now too. I have a relative that waited to send their September bday boy. He is now in 5th grade and she told me in no uncertain terms that the younger kids (that didn't redshirt) are social outcasts. They are in a different part of the country and it seems like sports are VERY important to them and their circle, so that could be part of it, but it's definitely a factor in our decision (and the opposite of this statement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Everyone on here says, "you know your kid!" or "if he's ready, send him!"

DS (september birthday) is totally ready for Kindergarten, no question in my mind. But, "in real life" the advice I get is, he may be fine in kindergarten but the real issues pop up later when everyone else is
- bigger
- going through puberty
- driving
- etc.

I hear smaller and younger kids have trouble socially, etc.

Just a vent I guess... I just don't think it's as cut and dry as saying, "if he's ready now, send him". And yes, I know my kid at age 4, but not what he'll be like at 11...

OP, Will he be 5 by the September 1 cut off? Doesn't sound like it. Not sending him to K this year isn't "redshirting." You're sending him on time. I'm not sure I understand why you have dilemma.

This is OP. We are in VA so his birthday is two weeks before the 9/30 cutoff. Which always brings up another point... it's so random and if we were in MD (or much of the rest of the country) he would have missed the cutoff...

[Anonymous]

Been there. Done that. Got the T-shirt.

OP, you've been given good advice. I was given the same advice, ignored it, and have regretted it since DS was in 2nd grade. He's now attending college on a full academic scholarship, so he could hold his own in school. At least in the classroom. Socially, it was much harder. Even today, at college, he is younger than most of his peers. He has persevered, but when I look at 18-year-olds who just graduated high school this year, I see what an easier time they had (DCs of friends). Our DD is on the older end of her class and I cannot tell you how much easier it is.

For people on the fence, I always encourage them to talk to parents of high-ability students who are in high school. Because they can talk to you about the academic side, and the social realities of high school today. I cannot imagine the social aspects of high school will get any easier, and it's important to understand what a younger student will be facing in those years.

[Anonymous]

OP, I'm the teacher who thinks redshirting is fine. However, if you think your son is ready, then, by all means, send him. However, if his preschool teacher has recommended otherwise, you might give it a second thought. I've seen it work both ways--it depends on the kid. I do think most Sept boys would be better off redshirting, but there are certainly plenty who are fine. IT DEPENDS ON THE KID!