On whether to redshirt...

[Anonymous]

You're going to get a lot of answers that don't really apply to your child on this thread and it's not because PPs are not trying to help. It's just impossible to give you a advice without knowing your child or the dynamics of your school and peers. Talk to other parents at your school, visit the class if you can. Ask your child's preschool teacher.
We have a bunch of Sept. birthday kids at our school. Of the six I know, two were redshirted and the other four went on time. Of the four that went on time, two really struggled in K. One had academic issues and the other had social issues. The other two Sept. kids were in the highest reading group and seemed to be doing fine socially.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You're going to get a lot of answers that don't really apply to your child on this thread and it's not because PPs are not trying to help. It's just impossible to give you a advice without knowing your child or the dynamics of your school and peers. Talk to other parents at your school, visit the class if you can. Ask your child's preschool teacher.
We have a bunch of Sept. birthday kids at our school. Of the six I know, two were redshirted and the other four went on time. Of the four that went on time, two really struggled in K. One had academic issues and the other had social issues. The other two Sept. kids were in the highest reading group and seemed to be doing fine socially.

What grade are they now, and how are they all doing? I have a September boy and I don't know what is best for him.

[Anonymous]

We based our decision not to redshirt our immature but bright summer birthday boy partly on our own academic experiences (we were smart and bored) and made the gamble that our kid would be smart as well. Turns out he is smart but was and is socially immature. I'm sure his teachers would have preferred we redshirted him. However I figure he's academically where he's supposed to be and will have an additional year of earning power before retirement, which hopefully is worth it. Hard to know what the right decision was. I think if your kid is smart and mature he will be fine now and in the long run, especially if his parents were in school as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We based our decision not to redshirt our immature but bright summer birthday boy partly on our own academic experiences (we were smart and bored) and made the gamble that our kid would be smart as well. Turns out he is smart but was and is socially immature. I'm sure his teachers would have preferred we redshirted him. However I figure he's academically where he's supposed to be and will have an additional year of earning power before retirement, which hopefully is worth it. Hard to know what the right decision was. I think if your kid is smart and mature he will be fine now and in the long run, especially if his parents were in school as well.

you really considered this when deciding not to redshirt? wow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We based our decision not to redshirt our immature but bright summer birthday boy partly on our own academic experiences (we were smart and bored) and made the gamble that our kid would be smart as well. Turns out he is smart but was and is socially immature. I'm sure his teachers would have preferred we redshirted him. However I figure he's academically where he's supposed to be and will have an additional year of earning power before retirement, which hopefully is worth it. Hard to know what the right decision was. I think if your kid is smart and mature he will be fine now and in the long run, especially if his parents were in school as well.

you really considered this when deciding not to redshirt? wow.

What did you consider when deciding not to redshirt? Lifetime earnings wasn't a factor we considered when deciding not to redshirt, but I had certainly heard about it, and the pros and cons of age and years working.

[Anonymous]

My DD is 18 months younger than her best friend in class. My DD skipped and her friend was held back for language reasons (non-English speaker).

So this friend is starting to be interested in stuff that my DD isn't yet - bras, that kind of thing. But she is so immature at the same time (the friend) that despite being about 2 feet taller than my DD she is like a toddler in terms of her behavior and so you know, things kind of even out.

Puberty lasts a few years - but it starts at different times for everyone. You can be a late starter or an early starter, or right on time (statistically) so every class is going to have this anyway, and everyone catches up.

[Anonymous]

My DD is 18 months younger than her best friend in class. My DD skipped and her friend was held back for language reasons (non-English speaker).

So this friend is starting to be interested in stuff that my DD isn't yet - bras, that kind of thing. But she is so immature at the same time (the friend) that despite being about 2 feet taller than my DD she is like a toddler in terms of her behavior and so you know, things kind of even out.

Puberty lasts a few years - but it starts at different times for everyone. You can be a late starter or an early starter, or right on time (statistically) so every class is going to have this anyway, and everyone catches up.

I had a friend at work who used to worry every day when her DD was in sixth grade. She said she never knew if her DD would be playing with dolls or calling boys! It varied from day to day.

[Anonymous]

We based our decision not to redshirt our immature but bright summer birthday boy partly on our own academic experiences (we were smart and bored) and made the gamble that our kid would be smart as well. Turns out he is smart but was and is socially immature. I'm sure his teachers would have preferred we redshirted him. However I figure he's academically where he's supposed to be and will have an additional year of earning power before retirement, which hopefully is worth it. Hard to know what the right decision was. I think if your kid is smart and mature he will be fine now and in the long run, especially if his parents were in school as well.

Surely, you are joking. But, if you are not, then you are not as smart as you think you are. He'd probably be more successful at work if he had been redshirted. Just sayin!

[Anonymous]

Not the PP, but this describes us too. We have a September birthday boy who entered kindergarten a few weeks shy of his 5th birthday (the cutoff was 9/30 at the time). Bright but immature.

And, now in 10th grade, still bright and still immature, though not by quite as much. It was hard in the lower grades because my son had a hard time regulating his emotions. But he's matured a lot, and my husband and I both thought there was a pretty big risk he'd be acting out on account of being bored if we held him back.

He's not the most social kid in the world, but I highly doubt that would have been different if we had started him a year later. Nerdy tendencies run strong in both our families. And again, he's been very happy in high school. He has friends, does very well academically, and pursues other interests. In terms of physical maturity, he's well within the normal range for kids in his grade, though still on the short side.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're going to get a lot of answers that don't really apply to your child on this thread and it's not because PPs are not trying to help. It's just impossible to give you a advice without knowing your child or the dynamics of your school and peers. Talk to other parents at your school, visit the class if you can. Ask your child's preschool teacher.
We have a bunch of Sept. birthday kids at our school. Of the six I know, two were redshirted and the other four went on time. Of the four that went on time, two really struggled in K. One had academic issues and the other had social issues. The other two Sept. kids were in the highest reading group and seemed to be doing fine socially.

What grade are they now, and how are they all doing? I have a September boy and I don't know what is best for him.

Third. One of the struggling Sept. birthday kids, who happened to be a girl, repeated K and since she was no longer in the same grade I'm not sure how that turned out.
The second struggling kid, a boy, seems to be doing better but I think he may have gotten some accommodations like fidgets, breaks.
The two that were doing well, a girl and boy, continue to be doing well academically at least from the perspective that they are still in the top reading groups for their respective classes, I think.
Not sure about one of the two redshirted guys but the second one is doing well and may not be in the top reading group but maybe the second highest. He's very small so I think no one really knows he is a year older than some of his classmates.
We have had playdates with the on-time Sept. boy who is doing well and the redshirted Sept. boy who is small and they both fit in very well with everyone else and the two are actually friends.

I paid attention to how these kids were doing because DC2 has a late July birthday and can be immature, but I wonder whether there would be a similar breakdown of kids doing well versus struggling if I picked another random month.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

We based our decision not to redshirt our immature but bright summer birthday boy partly on our own academic experiences (we were smart and bored) and made the gamble that our kid would be smart as well. Turns out he is smart but was and is socially immature. I'm sure his teachers would have preferred we redshirted him. However I figure he's academically where he's supposed to be and will have an additional year of earning power before retirement, which hopefully is worth it. Hard to know what the right decision was. I think if your kid is smart and mature he will be fine now and in the long run, especially if his parents were in school as well.

Surely, you are joking. But, if you are not, then you are not as smart as you think you are. He'd probably be more successful at work if he had been redshirted. Just sayin!

What totally baffles me is the argument that a kid should go to school despite being socially backwards, so they can earn more money? Social skills have a lot to play in terms of career success. What if he needs to take a year out and spends 5 years surfing instead of working? What if he ends up in jail? What ifs everywhere.

you should have redshirted your boy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have found that the redshirted kids, at least in elementary school, have more social issues. They just don't fit in because they are too big or too mature for their peer group.

Or were they redshirted because they had social issues so their parents thought they needed time to mature, not realizing it wasn't a maturity issue but a social interaction deficiency? Being too big has nothing to do with it. My youngest DC is very tall and so bigger than most of her classmates and even kids a year older than she is. She was not redshirted and has many friends. I'm guessing a lot of times the redshirted kid isn't too mature for the peer group, but is instead immature and socially inept.

[Anonymous]

I taught first grade. One year I had a student from another teacher who was repeating. I think it was a mutual decision with the parents. He was extremely tall--he probably would have been the tallest in second grade, as well.

I am normally against retention---but this child blossomed. Why? He was immature and fit in perfectly with the kids I taught that year. He was actually proud of the fact that he had "already done" first grade. His parents must have worked really hard at home to create this attitude. It probably would have been better for him had he been red-shirted, but, in this particular instance, it worked out very well. He got along well with the other kids and made great academic strides. A classic case of a kid who just needed another year.

[Anonymous]

I agree with OP that you can only make a decision based on what you know NOW. There is no guarantee by holding him back that he won't still struggle socially, academically, etc. I work in a school setting, and there are some kids I 100% agree with retaining, and others that I am 100% for advancing. You know your kid best. Trust your mama's instinct on this one.

[Anonymous]

You know your kid best. Trust your mama's instinct on this one.

Bingo!