Coworker is such a bitch

[Anonymous]

I work in a non profit organization with fellow 25 year old girls. We are all entry level assistants. There is this one girl who rubs me the wrong way because I think she can be mean.

Some examples:

I was late at the office this one night and needed a pair of scissors to cut something. We are a nonprofit so we have no budget for stationary. I walked around and went to my coworkers cube, borrowed her scissors and used them to cut what I wanted to. Next morning she walks around asking if anyone has her scissors. I quickly tell her that I had them and that I had borrowed them last night and I was sorry to have inconvenienced her.She took them from me, gave me an evil look and turned back to her work. No, "Oh its okay! No problem!" Nothing. Just cold silent stare followed by ignoring me for the rest of the day.

Another time, I had gone into our shared drive to open up a template for a payment request. I had accidentally saved all my information on it instead of just opening it and saving as another file and then inputting information. She emails me out of the blue with a curt, " Please go in and delete all your information from our payment request form."

I was really pissed off. Whenever I encounter that, I just go in an delete all the information. I can't believe she couldn't be bothered to do that.

[Anonymous]

Go away, troll.

[Anonymous]

Wait so you screwed up TWICE, but SHE is the bitch? Honey, check yourself.

[Anonymous]

Try not to let her get your goat. Sounds like she is not friendly to you, probably doesn't like you, but you have other 25 yo coworkers you do like. Try to focus on them and don't let her haterade make you upset. But don't hate on her, either. You never know people's stories. Enjoy your work! I loved, loved my nonprofit jobs in my 20s with other young people. I also love my nonprofit job now while I'm in my 40s but that is a really special time of life, so try to enjoy it. As my dear college roommate used to say, "We don't all need to be friends!"

“Leaving no trace is a practice that goes on well after you clean your shoes, brush your teeth, and wash a lifetime of coffee cups, [and stay on the trail and off the fragile alpine meadows]. No trace is aimed at getting rid of all the petty offenses, inconveniences, and problems in your life: namely, you. Or should I say, me.

Do I have a problem with you? That’s me.
Am I irritated? That’s me.
Do I feel unappreciated? That’s me.
Disrespected or misunderstood? That’s me.
Do I feel the need to explain my personal history and point of view so that you can validate my experience? That’s me.
Am I angry at you? That’s me.
Am I struggling with things around me? That’s me.
Do I feel vulnerable, ashamed, defensive, unworthy, or victimized? That’s me.
Do I feel like I leave a big blot of ugly trouble wherever I go? Every day.”

--Karen Maezen Miller

[Anonymous]

You took her scissors and didn't return them. Many people would be put off if they returned to their personal space to find an item missing.

You left personal (to someone) info on a common form. That's not protocol. She asked you to delete it, so that it comforted to protocol.

She's not a bitch, OP. She is direct and sounds totally normal to me.

[Anonymous]

First of all, you probably annoy her when you call 25 year old women, girls. They are not girls. Second, how do you know they weren't her scissors? How would you like it if people borrowed your stuff and never returned it? Btw, I'm not the women in the office you are complaining about.

[Anonymous]

Are you pretty

[Anonymous]

You are going to learn so much about professionalism in the next 5 years, some of it will be a struggle. There are some lessons here that one day you will be able to unpack better.

The point is, high school is over- you don't need drama in the work place. Don't make an enemy with this woman, yes she comes off as not so nice or friendly, but your examples are mistakes YOU made, and you are saying her reaction is the problem with no self-awareness of your own behavior. As a professional working adult, the hardest thing will be dealing with all types of people and personalities, this is one of them- obviously, do not take her things from her desk anymore, that is a boundary you crossed she doesn't appreciate, and that is okay.

[Anonymous]

OP, you're a bad person

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are going to learn so much about professionalism in the next 5 years, some of it will be a struggle. There are some lessons here that one day you will be able to unpack better.

The point is, high school is over- you don't need drama in the work place. Don't make an enemy with this woman, yes she comes off as not so nice or friendly, but your examples are mistakes YOU made, and you are saying her reaction is the problem with no self-awareness of your own behavior. As a professional working adult, the hardest thing will be dealing with all types of people and personalities, this is one of them- obviously, do not take her things from her desk anymore, that is a boundary you crossed she doesn't appreciate, and that is okay.

This is a very kind, wise, and helpful response. OP - take notes! Best of luck in your career.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wait so you screwed up TWICE, but SHE is the bitch? Honey, check yourself.

HOW did I screw up??? I borrowed scissors on her desk after hours. They are company scissors! We share supplies sometimes because we each do NOT get our own. When I realized she needed them I gave them back to her graciously.

I left some of my program information on our communal form. I am NOT the first or last person to do this. Most people, when they encounter this, just delete the old info and put in their own.

[Anonymous]

She did nothing wrong or rude, OP. She is not required to like you or act all syrupy with you.

There are all kinds of people on earth. Some of them don't warm up quickly to strangers. Example: the bulldog at the front desk of my children's elementary. For 4 years she was curt and sometimes downright rude to me. Then when I started volunteering for the PTA and put in long hours working in the school, suddenly now she loves me! She's the kind of person who really has to observe and get to know you before she will open her heart.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wait so you screwed up TWICE, but SHE is the bitch? Honey, check yourself.

HOW did I screw up??? I borrowed scissors on her desk after hours. They are company scissors! We share supplies sometimes because we each do NOT get our own. When I realized she needed them I gave them back to her graciously.

I left some of my program information on our communal form. I am NOT the first or last person to do this. Most people, when they encounter this, just delete the old info and put in their own.

You said in the OP you "borrowed her scissors." They were hers. Not yours. See the difference there?

[Anonymous]

Oh OP, you are in for some life lessons.

I would stab a fucker if they took my scissors.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wait so you screwed up TWICE, but SHE is the bitch? Honey, check yourself.

HOW did I screw up??? I borrowed scissors on her desk after hours. They are company scissors! We share supplies sometimes because we each do NOT get our own. When I realized she needed them I gave them back to her graciously.

I left some of my program information on our communal form. I am NOT the first or last person to do this. Most people, when they encounter this, just delete the old info and put in their own.

Some people are a bit possessive of their belongings, or the items that have been assigned to them in an office environment. They expect them to be where they put them. When they are not there, they get annoyed.
This does not mean she is a bitch.
And, her response to you about the payment form was pretty straight forward. True, it may not be the first time - or the last - that someone has done this or will do it. But, I am betting that after she requested you delete your info, YOU won’t do it again.
I agree with the pp that you will learn plenty about professionalism and how to get along in an office environment. If the two examples you gave are the worst you have to offer, I would say that I disagree with your assessment that she is a “bitch.”
My advice would be to try your best to be a team player. And, approach your work with a sense of humor and humility.