MIL makes snarky comments re DD's use of words in my native language

[Anonymous]

My native language is not English.

DD is 19 months old and calls me "mother" in my native language and sometimes calls DH "father" in my native language. DD has some other "words" or sounds that are attempts at words in my native language.

Every time DD makes these sounds or "says" these "words," MIL makes a snarky comment like, "I have no idea what you're trying to say?" Or "I don't like it when I can't understand you." Or "no, not [native language word], [English word]." Or "What does that mean?!" (after DH and I have told her 10 times what it means).

MIL is otherwise a very nice (but very ethnocentric and a bit close-minded) woman. I've asked her why it upsets her when DD uses words in my native language and she says she doesn't like it because she can't understand it. I get that but I don't want her correcting DD each time.

Any ideas?

[Anonymous]

Tell her you want your child to be bilingual.

[Anonymous]

Oh, lord that would irritate me! Seriously, how hard is it to learn a few words in a different language. My brother's wife is Chinese and when their toddler says something in Chinese I just ask what it means and clarification on how to pronounce it so I can learn it too.

I'd write out some of the words your DD is learning with their English translation and the pronunciation in your language and share it with your MIL so you can "help" her learn the language her grandchild is learning. Sounds like she wouldn't actually take the time but when she says in the future that she's doesn't understand blithely approach it as a teaching opportunity, whether she likes it or not.

[Anonymous]

I'd have your husband talk to her about the benefits of being bilingual, but also about how her behaviour is hurtful. Make this his problem!

[Anonymous]

I bet your MIL is going to vote for Trump. Ugh.

[Anonymous]

What a bitch. I would call her out on it and tell her not to comment or correct your daughter.

[Anonymous]

Tell your MIL that if your toddler can learn the words, then she can, too. Remind her that her granddaughter is half [whatever nationality/ethnicity you are] and you're sure she wouldn't want to give your DD an inferiority complex or something. When she "corrects" your daughter, immediately swoop in and nip that in the bud. When she tells your daughter that she can't understand, then say in a playful tone "grandma is so silly! She knows that [whatever word] means [English equivalent]!"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tell your MIL that if your toddler can learn the words, then she can, too. Remind her that her granddaughter is half [whatever nationality/ethnicity you are] and you're sure she wouldn't want to give your DD an inferiority complex or something. When she "corrects" your daughter, immediately swoop in and nip that in the bud. When she tells your daughter that she can't understand, then say in a playful tone "grandma is so silly! She knows that [whatever word] means [English equivalent]!"

This. Over and over and over again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell your MIL that if your toddler can learn the words, then she can, too. Remind her that her granddaughter is half [whatever nationality/ethnicity you are] and you're sure she wouldn't want to give your DD an inferiority complex or something. When she "corrects" your daughter, immediately swoop in and nip that in the bud. When she tells your daughter that she can't understand, then say in a playful tone "grandma is so silly! She knows that [whatever word] means [English equivalent]!"

This. Over and over and over again.

Disagree. I don't think it's being silly; it's being rude. I like suggestion of the PP who said make a list for the MIL of words toddler uses in OP's language. My preference is to encourage learning rather than to encourage thinking that pretending not to understand or looking down on other languages is silly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My native language is not English.

DD is 19 months old and calls me "mother" in my native language and sometimes calls DH "father" in my native language. DD has some other "words" or sounds that are attempts at words in my native language.

Every time DD makes these sounds or "says" these "words," MIL makes a snarky comment like, "I have no idea what you're trying to say?" Or "I don't like it when I can't understand you." Or "no, not [native language word], [English word]." Or "What does that mean?!" (after DH and I have told her 10 times what it means).

MIL is otherwise a very nice (but very ethnocentric and a bit close-minded) woman. I've asked her why it upsets her when DD uses words in my native language and she says she doesn't like it because she can't understand it. I get that but I don't want her correcting DD each time.

Any ideas?

Teach DD to call MIL "go fuck yourself" in your native language.

[Anonymous]

You are being very tempered in your post. This would make me see red.

How often is your MIL around? Enough to actually discourage your child from learning and appreciating your language? If so, I'd be tempted to have my husband say, cut it out or don't visit.

If she's rarely around and does it when in town, some more passive aggressive approach seems fine.

[Anonymous]

I have a difficult MIL who I try hard to tolerate. BUT this I would 100%, firmly, definitively, shut down. As in, "MIL, if you EVER disparage my native language or background again, you will not see your grandchild."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tell your MIL that if your toddler can learn the words, then she can, too. Remind her that her granddaughter is half [whatever nationality/ethnicity you are] and you're sure she wouldn't want to give your DD an inferiority complex or something. When she "corrects" your daughter, immediately swoop in and nip that in the bud. When she tells your daughter that she can't understand, then say in a playful tone "grandma is so silly! She knows that [whatever word] means [English equivalent]!"

Ha. I agree that you tell the MIL that you and your husband are pleased that your child is learning two languages. Ask her not to "correct" your daughter because it confuses her. And if she does, then I like telling your daughter that Grandma is silly and that "agua" means "water" or whatever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What a bitch. I would call her out on it and tell her not to comment or correct your daughter.

Yup. Halt this in its tracks immediately.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell your MIL that if your toddler can learn the words, then she can, too. Remind her that her granddaughter is half [whatever nationality/ethnicity you are] and you're sure she wouldn't want to give your DD an inferiority complex or something. When she "corrects" your daughter, immediately swoop in and nip that in the bud. When she tells your daughter that she can't understand, then say in a playful tone "grandma is so silly! She knows that [whatever word] means [English equivalent]!"

Ha. I agree that you tell the MIL that you and your husband are pleased that your child is learning two languages. Ask her not to "correct" your daughter because it confuses her. And if she does, then I like telling your daughter that Grandma is silly and that "agua" means "water" or whatever.

+1

And DH needs to take his mom aside and tell her not to disparage your native language. Holy cow.