MIL makes snarky comments re DD's use of words in my native language

[Anonymous]

Ahhhh, I would hate this. Can you just say that this is good for DD's cognitive development and it's not up for debate?

I'd ask my husband to put the cabosh on this. Anti intellectualism is a big deal to me. I wouldn't take grandma dumbing down my child quitely

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your MIL is a piece of work. I bet she's super vanilla WASPy.

Mine always corrects the ethnic people on TV when they say part of a name or phrase with their accent. It's so annoying but also a bit funny because it really does anger her. So irrational! "Your name is gone-zal-ehs, Erika!" to NBC4's Erika Gonzalez. Don't even get her started on the way Giada De Laurentiis pronounces spaghetti. Lawwwd.

Right - but some folks take the overboard.... for example that lady who was/is on WTOP... Patricia Guadalupe. Or, as she said it Pa_TREE-CEE-AH Gu-dah-LOOP-AY!

[Anonymous]

"MIL, we are teaching DD both languages. Research has shown that multilingual children are more adaptable and flexible than monolingual children."

"MIL, you want to be careful how you phrase that - right now you're coming across as racist."

[Anonymous]

And I thought my MIL was a bitch. Your MIL wins the award.

As others have said put her in her place. Otherwise you will need to severely limit the time she sees her grandchild.

[Anonymous]

Say to your child really sweetly "Honey, you know two languages but Grandma only knows one. We can only use English with her." I know your child is too young to understand that - but Grandma sure will! Passive aggressive - my fave!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Say to your child really sweetly "Honey, you know two languages but Grandma only knows one. We can only use English with her." I know your child is too young to understand that - but Grandma sure will! Passive aggressive - my fave!

A combo of this and teaching your child "go fuck yourself granny" in your native language is clearly the plan. Go with it.

[Anonymous]

Make her flashcards. Every time she says she doesn't know what something means, write it down.

Apple on one side, manzana (or whatever) on the other. Hand it to her, and say you really want your DD to be bilingual and you're happy to teach her, too.

Be blithely uncomprehending of her resistance.

[Anonymous]

I would be tempted to go the passive aggressive route.

Although, tell her that you think it would be really good if she learned along with DD, since DD will be bilingual.

[Anonymous]

No direct advice, as it looks like PPs have it covered, but just chiming in with support. We have two bilingual kids, in DH's native language, and it's my mother who rolls her eyes and disparages my children's non-English language. I've learned that I'm not going to change her mind on the subject, but I've made it very clear that our family believes in the value of bilingualism, and we are not interested in debating it.

Don't back down, and keep promoting your language to your daughter. Aside from to cultural connection, bilingualism has so many benefits for children. Even if she never gains fluency, the act of mentally separating the two languages as a toddler strengthens her brain.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your MIL is a piece of work. I bet she's super vanilla WASPy.

Mine always corrects the ethnic people on TV when they say part of a name or phrase with their accent. It's so annoying but also a bit funny because it really does anger her. So irrational! "Your name is gone-zal-ehs, Erika!" to NBC4's Erika Gonzalez. Don't even get her started on the way Giada De Laurentiis pronounces spaghetti. Lawwwd.

Right - but some folks take the overboard.... for example that lady who was/is on WTOP... Patricia Guadalupe. Or, as she said it Pa_TREE-CEE-AH Gu-dah-LOOP-AY!

She's supposed to pronounce her name "Pat-risha Guada-loop" because you think the correct Spanish pronunciation is too much? Puh-leez.

[Anonymous]

Please don't go the passive-aggressive route with this. it is a problem that needs to be addressed clearly and immediately.
Just be firm and direct. Since this is not the first time this has happened, your husband must be aware of this problem and he must be part of the solution. 01:31 makes very good points.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell your MIL that if your toddler can learn the words, then she can, too. Remind her that her granddaughter is half [whatever nationality/ethnicity you are] and you're sure she wouldn't want to give your DD an inferiority complex or something. When she "corrects" your daughter, immediately swoop in and nip that in the bud. When she tells your daughter that she can't understand, then say in a playful tone "grandma is so silly! She knows that [whatever word] means [English equivalent]!"

This. Over and over and over again.

+ 1 like the suggestion, over emphasize the playful tone so that you can't be blamed (although we and her will all know it is fake )

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your MIL is a piece of work. I bet she's super vanilla WASPy.

Mine always corrects the ethnic people on TV when they say part of a name or phrase with their accent. It's so annoying but also a bit funny because it really does anger her. So irrational! "Your name is gone-zal-ehs, Erika!" to NBC4's Erika Gonzalez. Don't even get her started on the way Giada De Laurentiis pronounces spaghetti. Lawwwd.

Right - but some folks take the overboard.... for example that lady who was/is on WTOP... Patricia Guadalupe. Or, as she said it Pa_TREE-CEE-AH Gu-dah-LOOP-AY!

She's supposed to pronounce her name "Pat-risha Guada-loop" because you think the correct Spanish pronunciation is too much? Puh-leez.

I am pro correct pronunciation, but I find foreign accents while speaking English too pretentious. Like Magdaly Del Barco on NPR. Boils my blood. You speak English with a perfect American accent, lady. Stick with it.

--A foreign language speaker who can roll her R's way better than Magdaly Del Barrrrrrrco

[Anonymous]

It boils your blood when people pronounce their own names the correct way?? You think they should deliberately mispronounce them instead?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It boils your blood when people pronounce their own names the correct way?? You think they should deliberately mispronounce them instead?

+1000. What a bizzare thing to care about.