When do you decline Linkedin invites? WWYD here?
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Anonymous
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I decline if (i) I absolutely don't know the person -- as in a stranger or we chatted for 3 min at a conference and don't move in the same professional circles; or (ii) if I would NEVER turn to them for networking help or to discuss my career -- i.e. a few partners at my old firm who were utter douchebags yet they're quick to LinkedIn former senior associates but from my perspective if I can never reach out to you in real life bc you're horrible, why bother on social media.
So I think my parameters for adding people are fairly broad. So this woman I currently work with -- and hate -- sent me an invite. Is it fine to turn it down? We're both gov't attorneys --she's 20 yrs my senior but at the same level as me in terms of title (i.e. not my boss). Does horrible work (which isn't my problem) but on top of that is horribly nosy -- wanting to know every single thing about your finances/career (how much do you have in your 401k; how close are you to buying a house; will you leave the govt to make money; how much were you saving in your biglaw gig) -- all asked very directly in a very judgmental critical tone as she tries to compare where you "stack up" in life vs. her even though you're 15 yrs younger. So I don't want her rifling thru my contacts or scrutinizing my LinkedIn all the time to see if I made changes and if that suggests I'm job searching (I'm not but likely will in the next 12 months). Fine to decline? What if she brings it up --bc she's blunt enough that she will. Is there an easy brushoff answer? |
Anonymous
| Accept everyone on linked in. |
Anonymous
me too |
Anonymous
Really?? Didn't realize people did that bc sometime I get invites from total strangers and feel no compulsion to accept. |
Anonymous
Ok, let me rephrase. I accept everyone whose name I recognize. |
Anonymous
Can I ask why? What do you gain from doing that? If you needed something career-wise, would you ever call one of those people who you merely knew by name? Would you feel ok reaching out to them to say "hey I see you have a contact at xyz, could you connect me"? Or is it just bc you don't want to be rude and decline? |
Anonymous
It's because I don't care. If I need something career-wise, I'm going to contact someone I know regardless of our status on Linkedin. I maintain contacts outside of social media. I didn't realize people took Linkedin so seriously. |
Anonymous
| I accept everyone in my field, even if I've never met them. I am a freelance writer so that's only smart. You never know who is looking to hire! |
Anonymous
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I accept people I know or who are in the same career circle - for me that includes the association world plus whatever world I represent at the time. I do use LinkedIn to see if I have a connection with someone but I wouldn't contact someone I didn't know personally to connect me with someone else.
I also find it useful to see if I know someone that knows a job applicant. |
Anonymous
+1 It doesn't hurt to accept someone even if you don't think they'll be "useful" to you career wise. I also didn't know people who don't have some sort of celebrity status policed their LinkedIn additions so closely. As long as I have met you or know you, you're in. |
Anonymous
| Yeah, your LinkedIn acceptance standards are not broad. They are oddly narrow. Like PPs above, I just don't care and accept anyone who is not spam (including people I don't know but practice in my area, went to my high school, whatever). That's what I think almost everyone does. I think that debating with yourself about whether to accept someone who works with you as a contact is strange. |
Anonymous
| People can generally see your linkedin anyway, unless you've gone to the trouble to make it more private. |
Anonymous
| I don't get LinkedIn. How do you use it? How does it benefit you? Maybe you can tell her you don't use it that often and never get on? If she asks you just say you aren't very active on it? |
Anonymous
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I'm more restrictive - I only accept people I've actually talked to. I get requests from people at my company whom I've never met - I don't accept those. I'm not really networking much these days though. I suppose if I were on a job hunt, I'd accept more people.
In your case I'd just ignore the request and leave it hanging in my inbox. If she asked about it, I'd just say that I'm not very active on LinkedIn and must have missed it. |
Anonymous
| I only accept people I know or people I do not know but who are in my field. |