When do you decline Linkedin invites? WWYD here?

[Anonymous]

I think the advice to add everyone makes sense for certain jobs & industries, but not all.

Being a government lawyer doesn't rely on a broad network of folks, including near strangers & prior coworkers you actively dislike, to get the job done.

So, IMO, no need to add this lady OP. In your shoes, I wouldn't either. I have my account set to very private - all anyone outside my first circle can see is the metro area I'm in and the industry. Nothing else without my approval. I had a mentally ill friend (we're not longer friends) who was trolling social media for updates on my life so when she ran into common friends, could pretend that we were still in touch & up to date on each others' lives. It just totally creeped me out, and now all my stuff is super private.

[Anonymous]

I accept everyone but the Indian and Chinese spammers. I republish articles that I've written on linked in so if people want to get notifications of that then better for me.

[Anonymous]

I don't accept LinkedIn invites from H1Bs, just feels weird, I have had people using my network inappropriately , sending requests for interviews to acquaintances

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Accept everyone on linked in.

me too

Me too - except for head hunters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I decline if (i) I absolutely don't know the person -- as in a stranger or we chatted for 3 min at a conference and don't move in the same professional circles; or (ii) if I would NEVER turn to them for networking help or to discuss my career -- i.e. a few partners at my old firm who were utter douchebags yet they're quick to LinkedIn former senior associates but from my perspective if I can never reach out to you in real life bc you're horrible, why bother on social media.

So I think my parameters for adding people are fairly broad. So this woman I currently work with -- and hate -- sent me an invite. Is it fine to turn it down? We're both gov't attorneys --she's 20 yrs my senior but at the same level as me in terms of title (i.e. not my boss). Does horrible work (which isn't my problem) but on top of that is horribly nosy -- wanting to know every single thing about your finances/career (how much do you have in your 401k; how close are you to buying a house; will you leave the govt to make money; how much were you saving in your biglaw gig) -- all asked very directly in a very judgmental critical tone as she tries to compare where you "stack up" in life vs. her even though you're 15 yrs younger. So I don't want her rifling thru my contacts or scrutinizing my LinkedIn all the time to see if I made changes and if that suggests I'm job searching (I'm not but likely will in the next 12 months).

Fine to decline? What if she brings it up --bc she's blunt enough that she will. Is there an easy brushoff answer?

Not sure why everyone is jumping all over the OP -- the criteria sound pretty reasonable. It's not like she expects every LinkedIn contact to be a BFF but why act like someone is a contact via social media if you would never talk to them in real life? No way I'd add the woman you're describing OP -- she will be of NO networking help to you bc you won't want her to know your plans PLUS she'll be going through your profile and contacts very closely if she's so interested in gleaning info about you.

[Anonymous]

I accept people I have met in person in a work-related setting, people I've had meaningful phone contact with, e.g. recruiters who set up interviews for me, and selected VIP individuals that I know are for real and send me invites.
I never accept invites from people who may mine my profile and spam my connections.

[Anonymous]

I accept people I know (names I recognize). That said, I wanted to mention that if you need to make a change to your profile and don't want to call attention to the fact that you're updating your profile, you can turn the "broadcasts" off so that you can make the change, but a blast doesn't go out telling people that you've added a skill or changed something on your profile.

So, you can accept more people as connections, but just don't broadcast out the changes you're making to your profile.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I accept people I know (names I recognize). That said, I wanted to mention that if you need to make a change to your profile and don't want to call attention to the fact that you're updating your profile, you can turn the "broadcasts" off so that you can make the change, but a blast doesn't go out telling people that you've added a skill or changed something on your profile.

So, you can accept more people as connections, but just don't broadcast out the changes you're making to your profile.

+1. Most people check out your profile/connections once when they first get added -- they don't scrutinize it daily. So if you're feeling like having this woman or others will hinder your ability to job search bc they'll be seeing your profile changes, then turn off the broadcasts and they'll never know -- there's about a 0.1% chance that she'll go back to it weekly to see what has changed.

[Anonymous]

I swear I had someone contact a random LI connection who then gave me a bad reference. I unlinked with several people whom I don't really trust to say nice things about me.

[Anonymous]

I turned one down from an opposing attorney who I thought was an unethical jackass. He tried to intimidate a young female attorney I worked with during a deposition.