+1 Stay in your lane, OP. Lest you get run over. |
This is a completely stable response |
Potatoes. |
+1! |
Indeed. Eagle snafu. |
Neighborhood cliques tend to end badly. You would be wise to broaden your aspects for friendship outside of your block. I live in a neighborhood which used to known in our elementary school for all “the moms”. Guess what, nothing good lasts forever and half of the families don’t speak anymore. Find friends elsewhere. There are countless threads on DCUM about neighborhood cliques going bad. |
+1 |
Ugh, anyone who needs alcohol to be a parent is probably not worth your time. |
Anyone drinking at noon on a school day is kind of a loser anyway. Move on op. Not your circus. |
Pssst OP was there too. She’s not a teetotaler. |
Since it's been asked on this thread several times, I thought I'd take a stab at answering: what is the difference between a "clique" and just a friend group getting together.
I think the difference is in how you treat outsiders, and especially how you behave in front of them. That's what makes some groups feel exclusive and clique-y, and others not. OP didn't describe anything I would consider clique behavior. I can see how it would be awkward to discover these women had a friend group she wasn't part of, but that does not by itself make it a clique. It's just some women who are friends getting together and OP just happened to run into them. I guess they looked awkward and didn't ask her to join? But maybe they did and OP didn't share that part. It's just not clear they did anything to make her feel exclusive beyond just getting together. BUT I have absolutely encountered clique-ish behavior from other moms. It's stuff like: - Making a big show of your friendship at events within the larger community, like making a big show of greeting each other and only speaking to one another at school drop off or a school event - Being gossipy generally, but especially if you are in the habit of spreading gossip about people outside the group. Also just engaging in negative commentary about people outside the group when you are together. It's toxic. - Forcing your friend group on your kids, and discouraging friendships between your kids and people outside your group. This one is so mean! These are children and it just teaches the kids to be exclusive too. Those are the big ones I've seen. But OP doesn't really describe this, I think she was just bummed to realize that her friends had another group and she wasn't a part of it. That can be hard, but isn't a clique. |
Wow. One of you actually asked.
https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1201926.page |
How. Dare. They. |
I feel bad for this poster. You all assume she's some weird outsider and not legitimately friends with these people. Kind of proves the clique point, tbh. Clearly this isn't some random acquaintances - perhaps the poster has been supportive of them in the past. Yeah, so that would hurt anyone who isn't a stepford robot. |
I cannot emphasize this post enough. A decade ago, when I lived closer to the beltway, I was in a neighborhood moms group that went so off the rails. Affairs, bullies, and the kids were problematic too. I live by the motto, we don't always have to hang out because we're in close proximity. Not to mention there's always some ring leader who has a need for constant control and validation. |