Mom Cliques. I had no idea.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t get how an adult woman could care if a group of mere acquaintances didn’t invite her to something.

All the ladies at my yoga studio get together all of the time. I’ve only been invited once or twice and couldn’t make it. I’ve run into them out and about for lunch/drinks and jimmy crack corn I don’t care. What’s it to me? Is it a clique? Nope, it’s just a group of women who like to hang out with each other. They’re not doing it at my expense.

Besides, I’m too busy to care. Now, if my friends got together and didn’t include me, that would hurt. But mommies on a bus stop? I really, really could not care less.

Don’t you have other stuff to do, OP?

Exactly. It's because OP and this echo chamber here are all thirsty social climbers. They ooze desperation. It's a safe bet the women OP and the echo chamber are all frustrated by are upper caste and wealthy. You're not pissed off if the school's apartment dwelling parents aren't inviting you to an Olive Garden lunch on Friday. You want to be 'in' with the high born. Too bad you're not.

It's crazy to me that you couldn't understand anyone every feeling left out for any reason other than being a "thirsty social climber."

When I have felt left out of a group of women, it is usually because I am in a place where I don't yet have many friends and am lonely. That's it. Not because I'm trying to wheedle my way into a higher "caste."

This is honestly a deranged attitude and I hope I never find myself in a friend group with people who think this way. Most people just want friends to hang out with and talk to, not to gain entry to high society. Good lord.

If you actually want to be friends with these people it's probably best not to run off and declare them all drunks, with awful children, no jobs, who are just a bunch of mean girls. That doesn't make the lonely people more empathetic.

DP. You’re ironically desperate for an excuse. I’m one of the people who defended the OP, I DON’T want to be friends with the wine moms, and I’m wealthy.

Are you insinuating OP is poor because she's lonely and wants to be friends with the wine moms? What?

Read again.

I don't have the time to try to figure out what you're trying to say. I'm just repeating what was said in this thread, wealthy mama.

For heaven’s sake! The other PP is randomly saying that the people who defended the OP are thirsty social climbers desperate to fit in with the wealthy wine moms. That’s objectively wrong.

BTW, Jeff defended the OP too.

Jeff probably read 5 posts. The last 30 or so pages have been a little different, btw. But OP does smack of desperation whether she or the other women are wealthy or not. And since she lives in a subdivision and her kids ride school bus to school, I think that gives us some clues about her status.

You’re projecting.

Oh really? If I'm unbothered by people getting together without me I don't come to anonymous message boards to mock them and ask other to trade stories mocking other women. Try again.

But you are perfectly fine with coming online to make weird assumptions or made up nonsense about strangers on the internet to make yourself feel superior. Give me a break.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just hang out with different moms. The clique stuff abates later on.

No, it does not. These groups actually expand and solidify. The DC will join the same travel teams with dad coaches. Carpools form. Then exclusive sport specific summer training camps. Girls Weekends. Multi-Family Vacations. Social engineering: the DC will take each other to Homecoming, Prom. Parents will join same church. Parents will host huge parties for each other (40th/50th). Kids will serve as bartenders.

DCs will be the Mean Girls/Guys.

For the love of God, your kids and especially you are not entitled to be friends with the "cool" families. And just because you're not in their orbit does not make them "mean". My kids are not in the "cool" clique but they've been dance dates with cool kids and the kids and their parents are always cordial. Then again our kids are in private school. Maybe the families are more vicious in public.

There are no cool families. The sooner you realize this, the happier you are. Coolness is imaginary.

Praise be, someone with some sense.

Indeed.

We should probably let this thread die. There are some nasty trolls on these last pages.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t get how an adult woman could care if a group of mere acquaintances didn’t invite her to something.

All the ladies at my yoga studio get together all of the time. I’ve only been invited once or twice and couldn’t make it. I’ve run into them out and about for lunch/drinks and jimmy crack corn I don’t care. What’s it to me? Is it a clique? Nope, it’s just a group of women who like to hang out with each other. They’re not doing it at my expense.

Besides, I’m too busy to care. Now, if my friends got together and didn’t include me, that would hurt. But mommies on a bus stop? I really, really could not care less.

Don’t you have other stuff to do, OP?

Exactly. It's because OP and this echo chamber here are all thirsty social climbers. They ooze desperation. It's a safe bet the women OP and the echo chamber are all frustrated by are upper caste and wealthy. You're not pissed off if the school's apartment dwelling parents aren't inviting you to an Olive Garden lunch on Friday. You want to be 'in' with the high born. Too bad you're not.

It's crazy to me that you couldn't understand anyone every feeling left out for any reason other than being a "thirsty social climber."

When I have felt left out of a group of women, it is usually because I am in a place where I don't yet have many friends and am lonely. That's it. Not because I'm trying to wheedle my way into a higher "caste."

This is honestly a deranged attitude and I hope I never find myself in a friend group with people who think this way. Most people just want friends to hang out with and talk to, not to gain entry to high society. Good lord.

If you actually want to be friends with these people it's probably best not to run off and declare them all drunks, with awful children, no jobs, who are just a bunch of mean girls. That doesn't make the lonely people more empathetic.

DP. You’re ironically desperate for an excuse. I’m one of the people who defended the OP, I DON’T want to be friends with the wine moms, and I’m wealthy.

Are you insinuating OP is poor because she's lonely and wants to be friends with the wine moms? What?

Read again.

I don't have the time to try to figure out what you're trying to say. I'm just repeating what was said in this thread, wealthy mama.

For heaven’s sake! The other PP is randomly saying that the people who defended the OP are thirsty social climbers desperate to fit in with the wealthy wine moms. That’s objectively wrong.

BTW, Jeff defended the OP too.

Jeff probably read 5 posts. The last 30 or so pages have been a little different, btw. But OP does smack of desperation whether she or the other women are wealthy or not. And since she lives in a subdivision and her kids ride school bus to school, I think that gives us some clues about her status.

You’re projecting.

Oh really? If I'm unbothered by people getting together without me I don't come to anonymous message boards to mock them and ask other to trade stories mocking other women. Try again.

But you are perfectly fine with coming online to make weird assumptions or made up nonsense about strangers on the internet to make yourself feel superior. Give me a break.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t get how an adult woman could care if a group of mere acquaintances didn’t invite her to something.

All the ladies at my yoga studio get together all of the time. I’ve only been invited once or twice and couldn’t make it. I’ve run into them out and about for lunch/drinks and jimmy crack corn I don’t care. What’s it to me? Is it a clique? Nope, it’s just a group of women who like to hang out with each other. They’re not doing it at my expense.

Besides, I’m too busy to care. Now, if my friends got together and didn’t include me, that would hurt. But mommies on a bus stop? I really, really could not care less.

Don’t you have other stuff to do, OP?

Exactly. It's because OP and this echo chamber here are all thirsty social climbers. They ooze desperation. It's a safe bet the women OP and the echo chamber are all frustrated by are upper caste and wealthy. You're not pissed off if the school's apartment dwelling parents aren't inviting you to an Olive Garden lunch on Friday. You want to be 'in' with the high born. Too bad you're not.

It's crazy to me that you couldn't understand anyone every feeling left out for any reason other than being a "thirsty social climber."

When I have felt left out of a group of women, it is usually because I am in a place where I don't yet have many friends and am lonely. That's it. Not because I'm trying to wheedle my way into a higher "caste."

This is honestly a deranged attitude and I hope I never find myself in a friend group with people who think this way. Most people just want friends to hang out with and talk to, not to gain entry to high society. Good lord.

If you actually want to be friends with these people it's probably best not to run off and declare them all drunks, with awful children, no jobs, who are just a bunch of mean girls. That doesn't make the lonely people more empathetic.

DP. You’re ironically desperate for an excuse. I’m one of the people who defended the OP, I DON’T want to be friends with the wine moms, and I’m wealthy.

Are you insinuating OP is poor because she's lonely and wants to be friends with the wine moms? What?

Read again.

I don't have the time to try to figure out what you're trying to say. I'm just repeating what was said in this thread, wealthy mama.

For heaven’s sake! The other PP is randomly saying that the people who defended the OP are thirsty social climbers desperate to fit in with the wealthy wine moms. That’s objectively wrong.

BTW, Jeff defended the OP too.

Jeff probably read 5 posts. The last 30 or so pages have been a little different, btw. But OP does smack of desperation whether she or the other women are wealthy or not. And since she lives in a subdivision and her kids ride school bus to school, I think that gives us some clues about her status.

You’re projecting.

Oh really? If I'm unbothered by people getting together without me I don't come to anonymous message boards to mock them and ask other to trade stories mocking other women. Try again.

But you are perfectly fine with coming online to make weird assumptions or made up nonsense about strangers on the internet to make yourself feel superior. Give me a break.

Lol. Aren’t you the one assuming Op felt so sad, lonely, and dejected from being excluded when she said nothing of the sort?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t get how an adult woman could care if a group of mere acquaintances didn’t invite her to something.

All the ladies at my yoga studio get together all of the time. I’ve only been invited once or twice and couldn’t make it. I’ve run into them out and about for lunch/drinks and jimmy crack corn I don’t care. What’s it to me? Is it a clique? Nope, it’s just a group of women who like to hang out with each other. They’re not doing it at my expense.

Besides, I’m too busy to care. Now, if my friends got together and didn’t include me, that would hurt. But mommies on a bus stop? I really, really could not care less.

Don’t you have other stuff to do, OP?

Exactly. It's because OP and this echo chamber here are all thirsty social climbers. They ooze desperation. It's a safe bet the women OP and the echo chamber are all frustrated by are upper caste and wealthy. You're not pissed off if the school's apartment dwelling parents aren't inviting you to an Olive Garden lunch on Friday. You want to be 'in' with the high born. Too bad you're not.

It's crazy to me that you couldn't understand anyone every feeling left out for any reason other than being a "thirsty social climber."

When I have felt left out of a group of women, it is usually because I am in a place where I don't yet have many friends and am lonely. That's it. Not because I'm trying to wheedle my way into a higher "caste."

This is honestly a deranged attitude and I hope I never find myself in a friend group with people who think this way. Most people just want friends to hang out with and talk to, not to gain entry to high society. Good lord.

If you actually want to be friends with these people it's probably best not to run off and declare them all drunks, with awful children, no jobs, who are just a bunch of mean girls. That doesn't make the lonely people more empathetic.

DP. You’re ironically desperate for an excuse. I’m one of the people who defended the OP, I DON’T want to be friends with the wine moms, and I’m wealthy.

Are you insinuating OP is poor because she's lonely and wants to be friends with the wine moms? What?

Read again.

I don't have the time to try to figure out what you're trying to say. I'm just repeating what was said in this thread, wealthy mama.

For heaven’s sake! The other PP is randomly saying that the people who defended the OP are thirsty social climbers desperate to fit in with the wealthy wine moms. That’s objectively wrong.

BTW, Jeff defended the OP too.

Jeff probably read 5 posts. The last 30 or so pages have been a little different, btw. But OP does smack of desperation whether she or the other women are wealthy or not. And since she lives in a subdivision and her kids ride school bus to school, I think that gives us some clues about her status.

You’re projecting.

Oh really? If I'm unbothered by people getting together without me I don't come to anonymous message boards to mock them and ask other to trade stories mocking other women. Try again.

But you are perfectly fine with coming online to make weird assumptions or made up nonsense about strangers on the internet to make yourself feel superior. Give me a break.

Lol. Aren’t you the one assuming Op felt so sad, lonely, and dejected from being excluded when she said nothing of the sort?

No.

[Anonymous]

I’m in a mom clique kind of accidentally and while at times it’s nice, I’d rather get together with moms not in the clique.

[Anonymous]

Bye assh0les!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:36 pages because adults have friends and don’t invite the whole class to their birthday party?

I don’t understand how a group of people OP knows getting together socially without inviting her makes it a clique. A clique would be if they stood in a circle at the bus stop and excluded OP by ignoring her or if they all openly make plans together at the bus stop and purposely don’t include OP.

More like 49 pages of:

-- Middle class social climbers seething the rich alpha moms won't let them in their clique
-- Women who waited too long to have kids, now they're the 'granny mom' and younger prettier moms exclude them
-- 'Girl bosses' who moved to Washington from flyover country, thus have zero built-in family & friend network, complaining they struggle to make tight-knit connections

And 49 pages of rich alpha moms acting like their nasty behavior is totally acceptable and not unkind. Usually, it is almost always the rich people who are the mean girls.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:36 pages because adults have friends and don’t invite the whole class to their birthday party?

I don’t understand how a group of people OP knows getting together socially without inviting her makes it a clique. A clique would be if they stood in a circle at the bus stop and excluded OP by ignoring her or if they all openly make plans together at the bus stop and purposely don’t include OP.

More like 49 pages of:

-- Middle class social climbers seething the rich alpha moms won't let them in their clique
-- Women who waited too long to have kids, now they're the 'granny mom' and younger prettier moms exclude them
-- 'Girl bosses' who moved to Washington from flyover country, thus have zero built-in family & friend network, complaining they struggle to make tight-knit connections

And 49 pages of rich alpha moms acting like their nasty behavior is totally acceptable and not unkind. Usually, it is almost always the rich people who are the mean girls.

This thread has been really eye opening. I have a lot of big social groups (through DC area grad school, neighborhood moms, my kids’ elementary school, etc ). We can’t and don’t invite everyone because it’s just not feasible.

It never crossed my mind in a million years that anyone would get upset over something like a mid day get together where they barely know anyone attending. You must have really poor social skills to think another group of people revolve so much around you that they did something wrong not to invite you.

[Anonymous]

Hey OP! I'm sorry that made you feel uncomfortable. I get it! Would you be interested in attending something like that? I haven't seen if you've gotten this advice yet, but next time I would recommend making the text something more along the lines of, "So great to run into you today! Do y'all do that often? I'd love to join sometime!" If you want to go, that is. I think some people like to socialize in big groups while others prefer something more intimate (or like me, it just depends on my mood!)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:36 pages because adults have friends and don’t invite the whole class to their birthday party?

I don’t understand how a group of people OP knows getting together socially without inviting her makes it a clique. A clique would be if they stood in a circle at the bus stop and excluded OP by ignoring her or if they all openly make plans together at the bus stop and purposely don’t include OP.

More like 49 pages of:

-- Middle class social climbers seething the rich alpha moms won't let them in their clique
-- Women who waited too long to have kids, now they're the 'granny mom' and younger prettier moms exclude them
-- 'Girl bosses' who moved to Washington from flyover country, thus have zero built-in family & friend network, complaining they struggle to make tight-knit connections

And 49 pages of rich alpha moms acting like their nasty behavior is totally acceptable and not unkind. Usually, it is almost always the rich people who are the mean girls.

Nobody believes that at all. But nice try.

[Anonymous]

OP, I'm sorry you felt left out. It's not a good feeling. We all should try to be more inclusive and sensitive of other people's feelings as best as we can.

[Anonymous]

The nice thing about moving somewhere new is that I'm okay with the mom cliques - they've been friends for a long time and there's no way I'm going to break in. It's kind of refreshing, actually.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't presume to be invited to a midday get together but our school had a fun event that the principal stressed was for kids only. Then of course I find out that all the alpha moms were there helping out. So I did text one and ask "how did you get to help at the picnic? I would have loved to do that" and she gave me some vague answer about getting recruited. It does seem to be a real coincidence that all the moms who get "recruited" for these things are wealthy, right?
They were pretty welcoming to me at first. I am good looking and come across well. But when they found out where I lived there was a definite cooling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't presume to be invited to a midday get together but our school had a fun event that the principal stressed was for kids only. Then of course I find out that all the alpha moms were there helping out. So I did text one and ask "how did you get to help at the picnic? I would have loved to do that" and she gave me some vague answer about getting recruited. It does seem to be a real coincidence that all the moms who get "recruited" for these things are wealthy, right?
They were pretty welcoming to me at first. I am good looking and come across well. But when they found out where I lived there was a definite cooling.

I personally don’t like volunteering for those things and am relieved there are parents who are more than willing.