My husband smells

[Anonymous]

My husband works in a professional position and he is inconsistent with showers and deoderant. He will shower every other day to every 3 days, and sometimes wears deoderant and sometimes doesn't. I have brought this up repeatedly but he doesn't care.

He says he's too tired to shower every day (he works 80 hour weeks). He has been in the same job (very high powered) for 10 plus years, so I don't think his odor is affecting his job performance, but he does have BO and when he comes home after work I think he smells. I worry that he isn't able to make friends at work because of it.

What would you do? I suggest nightly showers and he says he's too tired. I have also suggested taking a deoderant to work for frequent touch-ups throughout the day. At the very least I make sure he has clean clothes every day.

He works long hours and is tired all the time, and it's not the kind of job where he can reduce his hours without finding a new job, which he refuses to do.

[Anonymous]

For the sake of his coworkers and fellow metro riders- make him take a shower!!!!! I can't tell you how many men stink in the morning. It's so obvious they haven't showered. Blech. I'm a female and showering sucks because I have to redo my hair, but for guys it literally takes under 5 minutes.

Also, a lot of smell is due to what he's eating. Such as eating lots of garlic or spicy foods or fried foods. Maybe you can control his diet more?

[Anonymous]

Please tell me this isn't Big Law.

[Anonymous]

Is he depressed? Sounds like it. Maybe talk to him about possibly getting some help for it?

[Anonymous]

Honestly it probably is effecting his work too. We have people like this at work that we can't stand. Bad breath is a huge deal killer too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Please tell me this isn't Big Law.

No, not BigLaw but the equivalent in another field.

[Anonymous]

how do you let him sleep in your clean bed when he's smelling? Hell no.

[Anonymous]

Also he doesn't brush his teeth in the morning--at night only.

I have encouraged him to take a shower every day but he is very resistant. I can't make him do anything. I just worry about how this is negatively affecting how he is perceived at work. I feel like there's nothing more I can do.

[Anonymous]

Shower with him?

More sex/bj after he showers?

Think outside of the box.

[Anonymous]

Maybe he's too lazy to find his preferred towel etc. maybe if you lay everything out for him the first few times he'll find it less of a chore? Of course you shouldn't have to do this because he's a grown man but just throwing it out there.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like there is some sort of OCD issue going on here. Like the same body control issues that some people with eating disorders have. This isn't a laziness or tiredness issue. There is some sort of mental component to his resistance here. This is not normal for a highly functioning intelligent profession person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Also he doesn't brush his teeth in the morning--at night only.

I have encouraged him to take a shower every day but he is very resistant. I can't make him do anything. I just worry about how this is negatively affecting how he is perceived at work. I feel like there's nothing more I can do.

Why does he have to work 80 hours a week?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is he depressed? Sounds like it. Maybe talk to him about possibly getting some help for it?

This.

[Anonymous]

At least you know he's not cheating on you! Women wouldn't want to get that close

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like there is some sort of OCD issue going on here. Like the same body control issues that some people with eating disorders have. This isn't a laziness or tiredness issue. There is some sort of mental component to his resistance here. This is not normal for a highly functioning intelligent profession person.

OP here. Can you explain more about this? What kind of body control issues?