My husband smells

[Anonymous]

The deodorant for touch-ups won't work. He needs to clean with soap. If he is too tired at night, can he shower in the mornings before work?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The deodorant for touch-ups won't work. He needs to clean with soap. If he is too tired at night, can he shower in the mornings before work?

He leaves the house at 5 am, he says he's too tired in the mornings.

[Anonymous]

Don't have any advice because my husband is clean. His motto is you poop you bathe.

My sister's husband is like your husband. Matter of fact I have two sisters that had the no bathing problem only one divorced over it. From what I can gather, the men like their own funk. There is no other reason. One thing they did have in common besides stinking, they were both very liberal in their thinking. Not trying to be political here, just stating fact. Both were raised in homes where waste of any kind was forbidden. Maybe that transferred into strict water conservation ? Don't know.

I asked the sister that's still married why she puts up with it and she said she just does. When her husband gets too funky she tells him to bathe. He also has some weird thing about wearing clothes until they smell too. I don't think I could put up with all that.

Good luck. If your husband gets too ripe, Vic's vapor rub under your nose.

I'd spray him, his clothes, the bed, chair, sofa he touched with fabreze. I'll bet his car smells too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The deodorant for touch-ups won't work. He needs to clean with soap. If he is too tired at night, can he shower in the mornings before work?

He leaves the house at 5 am, he says he's too tired in the mornings.

Does he drive to work? If he's too tired to shower, then I'd worry he's too tired to drive!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The deodorant for touch-ups won't work. He needs to clean with soap. If he is too tired at night, can he shower in the mornings before work?

He leaves the house at 5 am, he says he's too tired in the mornings.

I let the house at 4:30 am. If he is too tired for a quick shower in the morning, something is definitely off. Either he is working himself to death, or there is some sort of mental issue. I'm guilty of skipping an occasional shower, but going to work and not shower for days is plain wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like there is some sort of OCD issue going on here. Like the same body control issues that some people with eating disorders have. This isn't a laziness or tiredness issue. There is some sort of mental component to his resistance here. This is not normal for a highly functioning intelligent profession person.

OP here. Can you explain more about this? What kind of body control issues?

1st PP doesn't actually understand what Obsessive Compulsive Disorder is.

But I do agree that there seems to be a psychological barrier here -- maybe depression? Also, I have to ask: is there any chance this is cultural? Does your DH come from a culture / country where professional men may have body odor and/or shower less and/or not wear antiperspirant ? I work in healthcare and not a few male and female physicians from certain other countries do not appear to be wearing antiperspirant. Further, the women often have oily hair that hasn't been washed that day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like there is some sort of OCD issue going on here. Like the same body control issues that some people with eating disorders have. This isn't a laziness or tiredness issue. There is some sort of mental component to his resistance here. This is not normal for a highly functioning intelligent profession person.

OP here. Can you explain more about this? What kind of body control issues?

1st PP doesn't actually understand what Obsessive Compulsive Disorder is.

But I do agree that there seems to be a psychological barrier here -- maybe depression? Also, I have to ask: is there any chance this is cultural? Does your DH come from a culture / country where professional men may have body odor and/or shower less and/or not wear antiperspirant ? I work in healthcare and not a few male and female physicians from certain other countries do not appear to be wearing antiperspirant. Further, the women often have oily hair that hasn't been washed that day.

+1 I was wondering if he was Indian....??

[Anonymous]

I find this so interesting because I've worked with stinky men (they are always men) before, and they have all been married and I've always wondered how it works - do their wives smell too? Do they not mind/have they got used to the smell? Or are they like you and they don't like it? I guess I always assumed it was one of the first two, as I would have thought that once someone is told that they smell they would do something about it. Interesting! And I agree with some of the PPs - it seems like he needs some kind of change in his life because it doesn't sound very healthy.

[Anonymous]

OP you didn't answer about diet. It plays a huge role in stinkiness. DH is a health freak and he literally will not smell even after 3-4 days. I don't either, but I'm female and that's more common. We tend to smell when doing hard, manual labor like gardening

[Anonymous]

holy cow OP. Yikes!

[Anonymous]

No one is commenting on the fact that he doesn't brush his teeth in the morning???

What the FUCK.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP you didn't answer about diet. It plays a huge role in stinkiness. DH is a health freak and he literally will not smell even after 3-4 days. I don't either, but I'm female and that's more common. We tend to smell when doing hard, manual labor like gardening

This is not true.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP you didn't answer about diet. It plays a huge role in stinkiness. DH is a health freak and he literally will not smell even after 3-4 days. I don't either, but I'm female and that's more common. We tend to smell when doing hard, manual labor like gardening

Please.

[Anonymous]

Op, how does this work on the weekends? Do you recoil from him when your around him long periods of time? Are you intimate? I agree if he's from the US, and so accustomed to our cleanliness standards, something else is going on?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't have any advice because my husband is clean. His motto is you poop you bathe.

My sister's husband is like your husband. Matter of fact I have two sisters that had the no bathing problem only one divorced over it. From what I can gather, the men like their own funk. There is no other reason. One thing they did have in common besides stinking, they were both very liberal in their thinking. Not trying to be political here, just stating fact. Both were raised in homes where waste of any kind was forbidden. Maybe that transferred into strict water conservation ? Don't know.

I asked the sister that's still married why she puts up with it and she said she just does. When her husband gets too funky she tells him to bathe. He also has some weird thing about wearing clothes until they smell too. I don't think I could put up with all that.

Good luck. If your husband gets too ripe, Vic's vapor rub under your nose.

I'd spray him, his clothes, the bed, chair, sofa he touched with fabreze. I'll bet his car smells too.

I have a male friend who fits this description. He just really likes musky, earthy, body smells; is super crunchy granola; grows his own food in organic vegetable beds in his yard; etc. I find it gross, but he's not my DH so not my problem!

OP's DH sounds like a different category of guy, though. I bet he hates to shower. There was once a thread on here, which I think may have spun off from a Carolyn Hax column, about people who hate and fear showers. They feel like the water is uncomfortable on their skin or something, so they go as long as they can between bathing - until they are literally offensive and people are complaining. See if you can track it down, OP - it was illuminating and might shed some light on your DH's issue. Being "too tired" sounds like an excuse for avoiding bathing.