Has your college student left your faith?

[Anonymous]

I was sad that my kids did not come home for Easter. Both stopped going to church with us toward the end of the their senior years of high school after many years of Catholic school. We do not pressure them at all, but I am so sad for them that they do not have a faith life. I am a convert and was hoping to give them what I didn't have growing up. Did your kids leave and find their way back or to another denomination (which would be fine with me)? I see all these older kids still attending Mass with their families and wonder what I did wrong.

[Anonymous]

In my experience its not uncommon for people raised in the Catholic Church to become inactive in young adulthood, but return to the church once they marry and have a family of their own. I've seen it happen a lot.

[Anonymous]

I was once that college kid who stopped going to church, as did all of my siblings. I'm afraid none of us has ever gone back (we're in our 50s now).

You didn't do anything wrong. People find their own way in life and for some of us that means going without religion.

[Anonymous]

I promise you didn't do anything wrong. Belief and non-belief are as ingrained as personality. I was raised in a Christian home of the happy and loving variety, and I was skeptical of the teachings by age 6 or 7. I simply never believed any of it. No one influenced me this way. I don't know if your kids are true nonbelievers or just disinterested and preoccupied at this stage of life. I'm now married with a family of my own, and I never did find my way "back" - it never meant anything to me to begin with. However, some friends of mine did start attending church again with their own kids. I'm grateful that my parents took me to church as a kid, and yours probably are, too. I hope that is a small comfort.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was sad that my kids did not come home for Easter. Both stopped going to church with us toward the end of the their senior years of high school after many years of Catholic school. We do not pressure them at all, but I am so sad for them that they do not have a faith life. I am a convert and was hoping to give them what I didn't have growing up. Did your kids leave and find their way back or to another denomination (which would be fine with me)? I see all these older kids still attending Mass with their families and wonder what I did wrong.

Don't be sad for them. You did give them what you didn't have. If they ever want to go back to having a faith life, they can. As others have said, everyone's different about this.

[Anonymous]

Who says you have to go to church to be Catholic? The great Christian mind CS Lewis didn't like church.

The idea of churchmanship was to be wholly unattractive. I was not in the least anticlerical, but I was deeply antiecclesiastical.

…But though I liked clergymen as I liked bears, I had as little wish to be in the Church as in the zoo.

It was, to begin with, a kind of collective; a wearisome “get-together” affair. I couldn’t yet see how a concern of that sort should have anything to do with one’s spiritual life. To me, religion ought to have been a matter of good men praying alone and meeting by twos and threes to talk of spiritual matters.

"And then the fussy, time-wasting botheration of it all! The bells, the crowds, the umbrellas, the notices, the bustle, the perpetual arranging and organizing. Hymns were (and are) extremely disagreeable to me. Of all musical instruments I liked (and like) the organ least. I have, too, a sort of spiritual gaucherie which makes me unapt to participate in any rite."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was sad that my kids did not come home for Easter. Both stopped going to church with us toward the end of the their senior years of high school after many years of Catholic school. We do not pressure them at all, but I am so sad for them that they do not have a faith life. I am a convert and was hoping to give them what I didn't have growing up. Did your kids leave and find their way back or to another denomination (which would be fine with me)? I see all these older kids still attending Mass with their families and wonder what I did wrong.

Maybe some of those older kids you see in church have been dragged there by there parents and are very resentful - a problem you don't have with your kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who says you have to go to church to be Catholic?

Well - the precepts of the Catholic Church basically!

Code of Canon Law # 1247 states:
“On Sundays and other holydays of obligation, the faithful are obliged to participate in the Mass. They are also to abstain from such work or business that would inhibit the worship to be given to God, the joy proper to the Lord’s Day, or the due relaxation of the mind and body.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who says you have to go to church to be Catholic?

Well - the precepts of the Catholic Church basically!

Code of Canon Law # 1247 states:
“On Sundays and other holydays of obligation, the faithful are obliged to participate in the Mass. They are also to abstain from such work or business that would inhibit the worship to be given to God, the joy proper to the Lord’s Day, or the due relaxation of the mind and body.”

If you don't go to mass, you are not "in good standing" but you are still Catholic. All you need to do is confess your sins and you will be back in good standing again and can receive communion -- even if you haven't attended church for years.

Only ex-communication can make you non-catholic and that it the Church's decision not the individual's. Catholics can give up Catholicism and join other churches or leave religion altogether, but they are still are the rolls of the Catholic Church.

[Anonymous]

I am one of the "kids" who strayed as a young adult once I went to college. I was born Catholic, went to Catholic schools. Once I moved away from home, I never went to church on my own. I was still expected to attend Mass if I was home visiting, but I never minded because I knew how important it was to my mother. I now have my own family but I have not fully returned to the church. I've been considering it, but I struggle with a lot of the church's teachings. That said, I still pray. I still have faith and very much believe in God, even though I am not "in good standing" with the church. So just because your kids don't go to church on their own doesn't mean they've lost their faith entirely or haven't benefited from a religious upbringing. They are figuring out a lot about themselves and life in general during the college years, including religion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am one of the "kids" who strayed as a young adult once I went to college. I was born Catholic, went to Catholic schools. Once I moved away from home, I never went to church on my own. I was still expected to attend Mass if I was home visiting, but I never minded because I knew how important it was to my mother. I now have my own family but I have not fully returned to the church. I've been considering it, but I struggle with a lot of the church's teachings. That said, I still pray. I still have faith and very much believe in God, even though I am not "in good standing" with the church. So just because your kids don't go to church on their own doesn't mean they've lost their faith entirely or haven't benefited from a religious upbringing. They are figuring out a lot about themselves and life in general during the college years, including religion.

Let's just hope that people in this frame of mind don't die before returning to the church, because if they do, they will suffer eternally for their sins, according to Catholic beliefs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am one of the "kids" who strayed as a young adult once I went to college. I was born Catholic, went to Catholic schools. Once I moved away from home, I never went to church on my own. I was still expected to attend Mass if I was home visiting, but I never minded because I knew how important it was to my mother. I now have my own family but I have not fully returned to the church. I've been considering it, but I struggle with a lot of the church's teachings. That said, I still pray. I still have faith and very much believe in God, even though I am not "in good standing" with the church. So just because your kids don't go to church on their own doesn't mean they've lost their faith entirely or haven't benefited from a religious upbringing. They are figuring out a lot about themselves and life in general during the college years, including religion.

Let's just hope that people in this frame of mind don't die before returning to the church, because if they do, they will suffer eternally for their sins, according to Catholic beliefs.

You are really making the case for why people should to return to the church. Your scare tactics won't work, sorry. You might want to find a more persuasive argument if you truly care about people returning to church, but I suspect you don't.

[Anonymous]

Yep, she's hittin the Jesus juice pretty hard now. We are Christians but don't regularly attend church, if it matters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am one of the "kids" who strayed as a young adult once I went to college. I was born Catholic, went to Catholic schools. Once I moved away from home, I never went to church on my own. I was still expected to attend Mass if I was home visiting, but I never minded because I knew how important it was to my mother. I now have my own family but I have not fully returned to the church. I've been considering it, but I struggle with a lot of the church's teachings. That said, I still pray. I still have faith and very much believe in God, even though I am not "in good standing" with the church. So just because your kids don't go to church on their own doesn't mean they've lost their faith entirely or haven't benefited from a religious upbringing. They are figuring out a lot about themselves and life in general during the college years, including religion.

Let's just hope that people in this frame of mind don't die before returning to the church, because if they do, they will suffer eternally for their sins, according to Catholic beliefs.

You are really making the case for why people should to return to the church. Your scare tactics won't work, sorry. You might want to find a more persuasive argument if you truly care about people returning to church, but I suspect you don't.

There are not scare tactics. These are tenets of the Catholic church that children are taught in Sunday School

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yep, she's hittin the Jesus juice pretty hard now. We are Christians but don't regularly attend church, if it matters.

You can do what you want. If you are Catholic, you know what the punishment is if you die with mortal sins on your soul.