Has your college student left your faith?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yep, she's hittin the Jesus juice pretty hard now. We are Christians but don't regularly attend church, if it matters.

You can do what you want. If you are Catholic, you know what the punishment is if you die with mortal sins on your soul.

Perhaps this is a large part of OP's concern -- not jsut that her kids don't have a "faith life" but that they are in danger of going to hell.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was sad that my kids did not come home for Easter. Both stopped going to church with us toward the end of the their senior years of high school after many years of Catholic school. We do not pressure them at all, but I am so sad for them that they do not have a faith life. I am a convert and was hoping to give them what I didn't have growing up. Did your kids leave and find their way back or to another denomination (which would be fine with me)? I see all these older kids still attending Mass with their families and wonder what I did wrong.

In my experience, Catholic school turns kids into hard core atheists

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am one of the "kids" who strayed as a young adult once I went to college. I was born Catholic, went to Catholic schools. Once I moved away from home, I never went to church on my own. I was still expected to attend Mass if I was home visiting, but I never minded because I knew how important it was to my mother. I now have my own family but I have not fully returned to the church. I've been considering it, but I struggle with a lot of the church's teachings. That said, I still pray. I still have faith and very much believe in God, even though I am not "in good standing" with the church. So just because your kids don't go to church on their own doesn't mean they've lost their faith entirely or haven't benefited from a religious upbringing. They are figuring out a lot about themselves and life in general during the college years, including religion.

Let's just hope that people in this frame of mind don't die before returning to the church, because if they do, they will suffer eternally for their sins, according to Catholic beliefs.

You are really making the case for why people should to return to the church. Your scare tactics won't work, sorry. You might want to find a more persuasive argument if you truly care about people returning to church, but I suspect you don't.

There are not scare tactics. These are tenets of the Catholic church that children are taught in Sunday School

What Sunday School tells children that they will suffer in hell if they don't attend mass? Please let me know so that I know which one(s) to avoid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am one of the "kids" who strayed as a young adult once I went to college. I was born Catholic, went to Catholic schools. Once I moved away from home, I never went to church on my own. I was still expected to attend Mass if I was home visiting, but I never minded because I knew how important it was to my mother. I now have my own family but I have not fully returned to the church. I've been considering it, but I struggle with a lot of the church's teachings. That said, I still pray. I still have faith and very much believe in God, even though I am not "in good standing" with the church. So just because your kids don't go to church on their own doesn't mean they've lost their faith entirely or haven't benefited from a religious upbringing. They are figuring out a lot about themselves and life in general during the college years, including religion.

Let's just hope that people in this frame of mind don't die before returning to the church, because if they do, they will suffer eternally for their sins, according to Catholic beliefs.

You are really making the case for why people should to return to the church. Your scare tactics won't work, sorry. You might want to find a more persuasive argument if you truly care about people returning to church, but I suspect you don't.

There are not scare tactics. These are tenets of the Catholic church that children are taught in Sunday School

What Sunday School tells children that they will suffer in hell if they don't attend mass? Please let me know so that I know which one(s) to avoid.

Any Catholic church that teaches the catechism (i.e., all of them). Missing mass is a mortal sin. It can quickly be forgiven via the sacrament of confession (followed by communion) and there are extenuating circumstances, like illness, that woudn't count as sin.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am one of the "kids" who strayed as a young adult once I went to college. I was born Catholic, went to Catholic schools. Once I moved away from home, I never went to church on my own. I was still expected to attend Mass if I was home visiting, but I never minded because I knew how important it was to my mother. I now have my own family but I have not fully returned to the church. I've been considering it, but I struggle with a lot of the church's teachings. That said, I still pray. I still have faith and very much believe in God, even though I am not "in good standing" with the church. So just because your kids don't go to church on their own doesn't mean they've lost their faith entirely or haven't benefited from a religious upbringing. They are figuring out a lot about themselves and life in general during the college years, including religion.

Let's just hope that people in this frame of mind don't die before returning to the church, because if they do, they will suffer eternally for their sins, according to Catholic beliefs.

You are really making the case for why people should to return to the church. Your scare tactics won't work, sorry. You might want to find a more persuasive argument if you truly care about people returning to church, but I suspect you don't.

There are not scare tactics. These are tenets of the Catholic church that children are taught in Sunday School

What Sunday School tells children that they will suffer in hell if they don't attend mass? Please let me know so that I know which one(s) to avoid.

Any Catholic church that teaches the catechism (i.e., all of them). Missing mass is a mortal sin. It can quickly be forgiven via the sacrament of confession (followed by communion) and there are extenuating circumstances, like illness, that woudn't count as sin.

I went to Catholic school and we were never told as children that we would "suffer eternally" - which was your original statement -- if we did not attend Mass. Of course attending Mass is required and expected (and taught in school). That's not in dispute and that wasn't my question. But telling others that they'll "suffer eternally" for not going to church is a scare tactic, plain an d simple. And THAT is what is not taught to children in catechism. In any event, I'm not losing sleep over whether a church that I am not sure I still believe in thinks that I'll suffer eternally if I don't attend Mass.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am one of the "kids" who strayed as a young adult once I went to college. I was born Catholic, went to Catholic schools. Once I moved away from home, I never went to church on my own. I was still expected to attend Mass if I was home visiting, but I never minded because I knew how important it was to my mother. I now have my own family but I have not fully returned to the church. I've been considering it, but I struggle with a lot of the church's teachings. That said, I still pray. I still have faith and very much believe in God, even though I am not "in good standing" with the church. So just because your kids don't go to church on their own doesn't mean they've lost their faith entirely or haven't benefited from a religious upbringing. They are figuring out a lot about themselves and life in general during the college years, including religion.

Let's just hope that people in this frame of mind don't die before returning to the church, because if they do, they will suffer eternally for their sins, according to Catholic beliefs.

You are really making the case for why people should to return to the church. Your scare tactics won't work, sorry. You might want to find a more persuasive argument if you truly care about people returning to church, but I suspect you don't.

There are not scare tactics. These are tenets of the Catholic church that children are taught in Sunday School

What Sunday School tells children that they will suffer in hell if they don't attend mass? Please let me know so that I know which one(s) to avoid.

Any Catholic church that teaches the catechism (i.e., all of them). Missing mass is a mortal sin. It can quickly be forgiven via the sacrament of confession (followed by communion) and there are extenuating circumstances, like illness, that woudn't count as sin.

I went to Catholic school and we were never told as children that we would "suffer eternally" - which was your original statement -- if we did not attend Mass. Of course attending Mass is required and expected (and taught in school). That's not in dispute and that wasn't my question. But telling others that they'll "suffer eternally" for not going to church is a scare tactic, plain an d simple. And THAT is what is not taught to children in catechism. In any event, I'm not losing sleep over whether a church that I am not sure I still believe in thinks that I'll suffer eternally if I don't attend Mass.

Maybe your church wasn't clear on the issue -- but that doesn't change the rules, which are quite simply hell (i.e., eternal suffering) if you die with a mortal sin (e.g., missing mass)
on your soul.

It may be nice that they not frightening children with the truth, but it's still the truth. Maybe the church has figured out that trying to intimidate people hasn't worked vry well and has led to a lot of people just bagging the whole thing. But the rules are still the same -- missing mass is a mortal sin.

[Anonymous]

Most people go through a phase of not doing what their parents are doing in and right after college. It is not a big deal. Of course, I am not Catholic and usually enjoyed going to church, but even I stopped going for a while at different times in my life.

If you have not traumatized your children and forced them to go to church against their will, they will come back to the church later and/or bring their family back to church. The more you try to "force" them as young adults, the more you will drive them away from religion.

[Anonymous]

And, I am not Catholic, so explain to me--if you can go and confess sins at any time, why is not going to Mass such a big deal? Couldn't they not go to Mass and go in and confess the sin of not going and get it cleared somehow?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And, I am not Catholic, so explain to me--if you can go and confess sins at any time, why is not going to Mass such a big deal? Couldn't they not go to Mass and go in and confess the sin of not going and get it cleared somehow?

It's only a big deal if the person missing mass does not get to confession and communion soon after commiting the sin. This, unfortunately, is the case with catholics who drop out during college. If they eventually return to the faith -- meaning confessing their sins and going to mass regularly again - then they're OK.

But if they die in the interim (unlikely in the case of young people), they will go to hell because they have mortal sins on their soul for which they have not been forgiven.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And, I am not Catholic, so explain to me--if you can go and confess sins at any time, why is not going to Mass such a big deal? Couldn't they not go to Mass and go in and confess the sin of not going and get it cleared somehow?

Well yes, but of your husband cheats on you and you forgive him, it's doesn't change the fact that he didn't think enough of you to cheat in the first place. Sure you can move on, but it still happened.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was once that college kid who stopped going to church, as did all of my siblings. I'm afraid none of us has ever gone back (we're in our 50s now).

You didn't do anything wrong. People find their own way in life and for some of us that means going without religion.

+1, 4 kids, Catholic school for 12 years. All fell away in college. Only one is still involved with a religion (She is now Methodist.) My parents have fallen away too. Of my 20 Catholic cousins, only 2 still go to church on a regular basis. A few others have baptized their kids but not done anything since then.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And, I am not Catholic, so explain to me--if you can go and confess sins at any time, why is not going to Mass such a big deal? Couldn't they not go to Mass and go in and confess the sin of not going and get it cleared somehow?

It's only a big deal if the person missing mass does not get to confession and communion soon after commiting the sin. This, unfortunately, is the case with catholics who drop out during college. If they eventually return to the faith -- meaning confessing their sins and going to mass regularly again - then they're OK.

But if they die in the interim (unlikely in the case of young people), they will go to hell because they have mortal sins on their soul for which they have not been forgiven.

Where in the bible does Jesus teach that people who do not go to catholic mass every week will go to hell?

[Anonymous]

Even the Amish encourage their kids to have a break so that they come back and choose a life of devoted faith. They understand what the young adult spirit requires. I'm atheist myself but my observation here is that just possibly it isn't OPs kids' faith that's waning, it's her faith in her kids.

[Anonymous]

I was once that college kid who stopped going to church, as did all of my siblings. I'm afraid none of us has ever gone back (we're in our 50s now).

You didn't do anything wrong. People find their own way in life and for some of us that means going without religion.

Same here for me and my four siblings, though we are in our 30s and 40s.

My parents raised us in the Catholic church, but with an emphasis on social justice and thinking for ourselves. We are all very moral people, most of whom chose to "serve" via our professions (social workers, non-profits, special ed teachers), which I think is a testament to our upbringing, but also part of the reason we all left the church. My husband comes from a very similar background, with similar outcomes for him and his siblings.

My siblings and I all discuss how we can raise our children with that same sense of morality, but none of us are believers in the underlying theology, and thus are not church-goers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And, I am not Catholic, so explain to me--if you can go and confess sins at any time, why is not going to Mass such a big deal? Couldn't they not go to Mass and go in and confess the sin of not going and get it cleared somehow?

It's only a big deal if the person missing mass does not get to confession and communion soon after commiting the sin. This, unfortunately, is the case with catholics who drop out during college. If they eventually return to the faith -- meaning confessing their sins and going to mass regularly again - then they're OK.

But if they die in the interim (unlikely in the case of young people), they will go to hell because they have mortal sins on their soul for which they have not been forgiven.

Where in the bible does Jesus teach that people who do not go to catholic mass every week will go to hell?

THere's nothing in the bible about any church because Christian denominations did not exist then. Jesus died as a Jew and Paul started writing his letters and distributing them to home groups another 30-40 years later.

The catechism is the rule book for the Catholic church -- it's in the catechism that Catholics learn that missing mass is a mortal sin.