When to share that you are switching from public to private?

[Anonymous]

We are moving our DD to private starting in 4th grade. She got into her top choice school. My DH says we should not tell friends/neighbors with kids until the end of the summer. He says I should avoid the subject if someone brings up school for next fall. How did you handle it if you moved a child from public to private?

[Anonymous]

Not practical unless your daughter has no friends or is going away for the summer.

She has probably already told her friends, who may have told their parents.

[Anonymous]

Have you told your DD that she is switching schools?

If no, you should tell her before you tell anyone else. And you know her better than anyone else whether knowing now will make her feel anxious or relieved.

If yes, you don't want her to feel like switching schools is some scandalous secret, and so she needs to feel comfortable telling her friends. And once she's telling people, everyone will know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are moving our DD to private starting in 4th grade. She got into her top choice school. My DH says we should not tell friends/neighbors with kids until the end of the summer. He says I should avoid the subject if someone brings up school for next fall. How did you handle it if you moved a child from public to private?

Why are you worried about this?

[Anonymous]

OP here. She knows she is switching. She wants to. She is miserable at school this year. She told me that she has not told anyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are moving our DD to private starting in 4th grade. She got into her top choice school. My DH says we should not tell friends/neighbors with kids until the end of the summer. He says I should avoid the subject if someone brings up school for next fall. How did you handle it if you moved a child from public to private?

OP, I think you and your DH are creating a problem when there is not a problem to begin with!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. She knows she is switching. She wants to. She is miserable at school this year. She told me that she has not told anyone.

We are in private and one or two kids might be switching according to my daughter.
I am not convinced it's true as one boy told every child last year he will be homeschooled,
which was not true as he came back.
If you are not friends with the parents I would let your daughter handle it.

[Anonymous]

Wait until a few days before the end of school. In my experience transitioning 2 kids from private to public, very few parents will want to bother supporting relationships with no future. Allow your daughter a chance to say good bye to everyone, then move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wait until a few days before the end of school. In my experience transitioning 2 kids from private to public, very few parents will want to bother supporting relationships with no future. Allow your daughter a chance to say good bye to everyone, then move on.

This might be true moving from private to public as the students are coming from all over. But in OP's case, changing from public to private, her DD may still see these neighborhood friends!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wait until a few days before the end of school. In my experience transitioning 2 kids from private to public, very few parents will want to bother supporting relationships with no future. Allow your daughter a chance to say good bye to everyone, then move on.

This might be true moving from private to public as the students are coming from all over. But in OP's case, changing from public to private, her DD may still see these neighborhood friends!

They will likely fade away unless they are neighbors in the same block or if the parents' friendships predate the kids' friendships or if the parents' friendships are exceptionally close. There are only so many hours in the day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wait until a few days before the end of school. In my experience transitioning 2 kids from private to public, very few parents will want to bother supporting relationships with no future. Allow your daughter a chance to say good bye to everyone, then move on.

This might be true moving from private to public as the students are coming from all over. But in OP's case, changing from public to private, her DD may still see these neighborhood friends!

They will likely fade away unless they are neighbors in the same block or if the parents' friendships predate the kids' friendships or if the parents' friendships are exceptionally close. There are only so many hours in the day.

Agree. When we switched our DC from neighborhood public to private, we waited until closer to end of year to tell her & anyone who asked. I didn't hide it and also didn't bring it up unless asked specifically. It was amazing how quickly some parents dropped my DC from playdates or any other social engagement. Luckily, there were one or two parents who continued to encourage the friendships and they are still friends today. It's not that big of a deal. Just be normal about it. In this town, these transitions happen all of the time.

[Anonymous]

What's so bad about us, the kids in the neighborhood? We're in the same class. She thinks she's better than us? Unless there's something weird about her we don't know about and she needs a "special" school. Sorry Mom, no amount of spin or strategizing is going to make a difference, not to kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are moving our DD to private starting in 4th grade. She got into her top choice school. My DH says we should not tell friends/neighbors with kids until the end of the summer. He says I should avoid the subject if someone brings up school for next fall. How did you handle it if you moved a child from public to private?

We plan on keeping our choice to move quiet as well, but if it comes up, we'll tell the truth. Our DS has already told his friends.

[Anonymous]

You are going to get the resentment from the public school parents sooner or later regardless of when you mention it. Many see it as a commentary on their choices and the quality of the education they are prepared to give their kids. In other words, you think you are above us. If that filters down to their kids and how your child is treated, then maybe it's time to part company.

[Anonymous]

When you hide something, you make it seem like there's something to hide.