When to share that you are switching from public to private?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are going to get the resentment from the public school parents sooner or later regardless of when you mention it. Many see it as a commentary on their choices and the quality of the education they are prepared to give their kids. In other words, you think you are above us. If that filters down to their kids and how your child is treated, then maybe it's time to part company.

I am a parent with kids in public school. When you send your kid to private school, I don't think, "You think you are better than us." I think, "Huh, obviously you're willing to spend a pile of money on school. I hope you get your money's worth."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are going to get the resentment from the public school parents sooner or later regardless of when you mention it. Many see it as a commentary on their choices and the quality of the education they are prepared to give their kids. In other words, you think you are above us. If that filters down to their kids and how your child is treated, then maybe it's time to part company.

I am a parent with kids in public school. When you send your kid to private school, I don't think, "You think you are better than us." I think, "Huh, obviously you're willing to spend a pile of money on school. I hope you get your money's worth."

This. A neighbor and friend of our current 5th grader moved to private for 5th. No one questioned or cared, although we just don't see her as much. We found out just before school started.

[Anonymous]

I think lay low on the information, don't lie but don't volunteer. When you do start sharing it at the end, off people ask why you waited, explain it honestly - we wanted to focus and enjoy this yr, have all summer to think about the transition and while switching dd, we .will miss. ... (Put in a compliment about current school) and if people ask, you all made the choice for your family- I find this helps when people are defensive about sending our kids to private. We did what works for our family and what we think is the right fit. I can't stop someone from making it about themselves but I certainly don't make it about them or criticize the school!

[Anonymous]

Just before school starts.

[Anonymous]

In NW DC, the elementary schools are generally superb; the middle schools aren't quite as uniform. So, at our school, leaving for a private school is no big deal, even leaving mid-stream, like in 3d or 4th grade. I'm guessing OP is in the suburbs. Just say something like DC was recruited heavily to play X sport or we got a heaping pile of FA or something like that -- something to justify it that neighbors will at least somewhat understand.

[Anonymous]

My dd lost all of her friends when she moved from public to private. All neighbors stopped talking to her and the moms stopped talking to me. It has been horrible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In NW DC, the elementary schools are generally superb; the middle schools aren't quite as uniform. So, at our school, leaving for a private school is no big deal, even leaving mid-stream, like in 3d or 4th grade. I'm guessing OP is in the suburbs. Just say something like DC was recruited heavily to play X sport or we got a heaping pile of FA or something like that -- something to justify it that neighbors will at least somewhat understand.

Ugh my mom always does this - tells needless white lies. She's in 3rd grade, there's no sports recruitment. And why lie about money? Just tell friends naturally when or if it comes up, and others as needed or desired more toward the 4th quarter.

[Anonymous]

It's totally fine -share when you are with people you like. My DS told everyone - he was so excited! And then the moms called me -- your DS said he is going to X school next year. I said - yep, we are super excited. That's all. And turns out nobody cares - we still have friends and so does my kid

[Anonymous]

We are moving from public to private after a very bad public preschool experience. Friends I've had for a decade who are happy at our public have been critical of our decision, literally asking why we think we're so much better than them. I've replied that my DD is shy and sensitive and felt at home in a small, very welcoming private school so we're doing what we think is best for our DD. I fear we're all losing friendships over this decision but I'm also certain I'm doing what's best for my kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are moving from public to private after a very bad public preschool experience. Friends I've had for a decade who are happy at our public have been critical of our decision, literally asking why we think we're so much better than them. I've replied that my DD is shy and sensitive and felt at home in a small, very welcoming private school so we're doing what we think is best for our DD. I fear we're all losing friendships over this decision but I'm also certain I'm doing what's best for my kid.

They sound insecure. Just own your decision. Tell them its best for you and your child and leave it at that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My dd lost all of her friends when she moved from public to private. All neighbors stopped talking to her and the moms stopped talking to me. It has been horrible.

That was not the case with us. You are either being insecure or were gloating to them about the new school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My dd lost all of her friends when she moved from public to private. All neighbors stopped talking to her and the moms stopped talking to me. It has been horrible.

And they say private school parents are snobs. To OP I say, you made a choice that is right for your child. If your friends and neighbors can't deal with it then are they really "friends"?

[Anonymous]

Tell them you can't help that you are beautiful and rich (not really!)

Just keep it low ... no explanations, apologies or anything. Just say it matter of factly when asked.

[Anonymous]

We actually didn't make the decision until late, maybe May. It was funny because the school actually contacted us that they heard our daughter wasn't returning next year. I guess they wanted to keep track of the numbers for budgeting purpose. Not sure how the conversation came up but youngest daughter had mentioned it at school.

So basically, I didn't bring it up unless it was in the context of a conversation, like oh is Larla going to join the robotics team in the fall - oh she can't she is going to a new school. Kids talk among themselves so if they said, their daughter mentioned Larla is going to xyz next year, I would say, yes, she is pretty excited. It would seem strange to me to just bring it up out of the blue with no context. I had the parent directory so it wasn't like I needed to get anyone's contact info. As on the go as people are in this area, I figured the people that were making the effort to have the kids get together before for one on one play dates would still make an effort once the kids were in different schools. It was the same effort when kids have different teachers and none of the same activities. I was right. For my daughter that had social challenges, no one really kept in touch but then again she had no one making the effort when she did go to the same school which was one factor in our decision to change schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My dd lost all of her friends when she moved from public to private. All neighbors stopped talking to her and the moms stopped talking to me. It has been horrible.

Or did you stop talking to them?