Marry a poor guy or risk single-hood?

[Anonymous]

I am 29 and dating a man without many means really seriously. He is a great boyfriend and partner and adores me. However, he has nothing to offer me financially. I mean, he has a job but he earns around 80k and has student loans, no savings or investments. If we were to get married, we'd have to be really low key since he and his family cannot afford a big wedding. We will also be scrimping and struggling financially and will probably not be able to have children until the next 4 + years. This puts me at a fertility risk because, of course, I'd have a child tomorrow, if I could because i really want a family.
He wants one too and would make a great father, but we cannot afford it in the next few years.

What do you think of my predicament?

[Anonymous]

This is ridiculous. 80k is not poor.

And since you're calling him poor at 80k, I sure hope you make more money. Or else that's the damn most hypocritical thing ever.

[Anonymous]

You never mention if you love him and want to be with him for the rest of your life. Those are the most important. If you did, the small wedding and waiting a few years for kids wouldn't matter much as long as you were together.

[Anonymous]

Yeah 80k is not poor. Based on the subject line, I thought your partner was unemployed or something!!!

I'm thinking you should walk away from this guy and spare him the agony of being with someone so materialistic.

[Anonymous]

If he makes 80k and poor, doesn't that mean you make at least 80k yourself and likely a whole lot more? An HHI of 160k isn't enough for a regular wedding and a kid ? Or is it that you make nothing but expect the man to pull in 250+?

[Anonymous]

Is this a troll post? It's either an extremely clueless person or a troll post, I can't decide. It has a lot of marks of a troll post:

guy is "poor" but is making 80k
worries about fertility
no mention of feelings

[Anonymous]

Risk singlehood? What type of singlehood are you picturing, one where the drag you into the middle of the street and stone you? And, more than that, is he the last guy on earth?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is this a troll post? It's either an extremely clueless person or a troll post, I can't decide. It has a lot of marks of a troll post:

guy is "poor" but is making 80k
worries about fertility
no mention of feelings

+1! Only marry for love. Otherwise, you're inviting misery.

[Anonymous]

You're a woman, right? Why does his family have to pay for the wedding?

[Anonymous]

I'm assuming that you are either very unattractive or have low self-esteem. It's written all over your post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm assuming that you are either very unattractive or have low self-esteem. It's written all over your post.

Follow up: The reason why I said this is because at only 29 years old, you don't seem like you have any other choices. But you do.

[Anonymous]

When DH and I had a child, our HHI was about 60K. We were living in one bedroom apartment. I was still in grad school.

You want something, you go get it, OP. You only have one life to live.

[Anonymous]

Either a troll or clueless. Traditionally the bride's family pays for the wedding anyway - how well set up are you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You're a woman, right? Why does his family have to pay for the wedding?

Good call!

[Anonymous]

If you love him, marry him. If you want a high HHI, go earn it.