Men- did your view of your wife change when you had children?

[Anonymous]

DH and I have been together for almost 10 years. We have just started to TTC, but I've noticed that he is trying harder to do a lot of things, without me asking.
He's always been an excellent partner, and we are very happy and comfortable together.

I asked him what was up, and he said just everything feels different knowing we could be bringing people into the world. He said that he knows I'll be pulling the heavy burdens, and he wants me to know he's got my back. It was weird and sweet at the same time.

In this era of push presents and all kinds of stuff, I'm just wondering if men really feel differently about their partners when they become mothers (or I guess in our case, the potential mother).

Ladies, did your relationship change or did you feel differently about your partner / DH?

[Anonymous]

Yes, when we were expecting he more than pulled his weight. After we had a baby, I began to hate and resent how he did very little compared to me. He would never pull his weight anymore. We are divorced and I'm much happier that I don't have to take care of a child and him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, when we were expecting he more than pulled his weight. After we had a baby, I began to hate and resent how he did very little compared to me. He would never pull his weight anymore. We are divorced and I'm much happier that I don't have to take care of a child and him.

OP here.. I'm so sorry things didn't work out. I do admit, I laughed a little, as I've been on this board long enough to know its all a possibility and I love the stories / slice of life that comes from here!

I guess I'm suspicious too. That being said, he's *usually* great, but still a man

[Anonymous]

Sounds like you have a great husband.

[Anonymous]

At first it gave my life so much more meaning. However, the teenage years came, along with disappointments with them your attitude changes again. Need to find a hobby.

[Anonymous]

My due date is around the corner. DH has always pulled his weight in our relationship. But he's gone above and beyond when I went into pre-term labor and was put on modified bed rest. But what I've noticed is he is working harder on himself. He is seeing himself through the eyes of his child and realized there were parts of himself he didn't like. So he is tackling those things.

[Anonymous]

I didn't share my load. If I agreed to have a kid I probably would have. But she took it upon herself to make the decision for me so fuck you and change the diapers in the middle of the night and don't bother me when I'm sleeping or watching tv.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, when we were expecting he more than pulled his weight. After we had a baby, I began to hate and resent how he did very little compared to me. He would never pull his weight anymore. We are divorced and I'm much happier that I don't have to take care of a child and him.

OP here.. I'm so sorry things didn't work out. I do admit, I laughed a little, as I've been on this board long enough to know its all a possibility and I love the stories / slice of life that comes from here!

I guess I'm suspicious too. That being said, he's *usually* great, but still a man

Do give him credit for his sincerity and give him appreciation for it. Don't be suspicious of such good intentions and heartfelt feelings!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: I didn't share my load. If I agreed to have a kid I probably would have. But she took it upon herself to make the decision for me so fuck you and change the diapers in the middle of the night and don't bother me when I'm sleeping or watching tv.

Sorry that happened to you, but with that attitude, don't expect to have any kind of relationship with your child or expect him/her to provide for you when you're aging and infirm. he/she will probably give as many sh*ts about you as you give about him/her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: I didn't share my load. If I agreed to have a kid I probably would have. But she took it upon herself to make the decision for me so fuck you and change the diapers in the middle of the night and don't bother me when I'm sleeping or watching tv.

I assume got went out and got a vasectomy the moment she told you she was pregnant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: I didn't share my load. If I agreed to have a kid I probably would have. But she took it upon herself to make the decision for me so fuck you and change the diapers in the middle of the night and don't bother me when I'm sleeping or watching tv.

Sorry that happened to you, but with that attitude, don't expect to have any kind of relationship with your child or expect him/her to provide for you when you're aging and infirm. he/she will probably give as many sh*ts about you as you give about him/her.

You should NEVER expect a child to take care of you when you're aging and infirm. Shame on you PP.

[zander]

I shared my load alright that's how she got pregnant to begin with...lfmao

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My due date is around the corner. DH has always pulled his weight in our relationship. But he's gone above and beyond when I went into pre-term labor and was put on modified bed rest. But what I've noticed is he is working harder on himself. He is seeing himself through the eyes of his child and realized there were parts of himself he didn't like. So he is tackling those things.

This is far and away the biggest gift my kids gave me. They smoothed out my rough edges and made me kinder, more accepting and more understanding. They love you so unconditionally that you become compelled to be the kind of person who deserves that love. Kids take so much from you- they're so much work. But they turned me into the person I was supposed to be.

[Anonymous]

They change again after the real work begins. Just sayin.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My due date is around the corner. DH has always pulled his weight in our relationship. But he's gone above and beyond when I went into pre-term labor and was put on modified bed rest. But what I've noticed is he is working harder on himself. He is seeing himself through the eyes of his child and realized there were parts of himself he didn't like. So he is tackling those things.

This is far and away the biggest gift my kids gave me. They smoothed out my rough edges and made me kinder, more accepting and more understanding. They love you so unconditionally that you become compelled to be the kind of person who deserves that love. Kids take so much from you- they're so much work. But they turned me into the person I was supposed to be.

+1 totally agree