Parent Behavior at Daycare

Anonymous
We get a monthly newsletter from our daycare, and we also get emails through our listserve, etc. At the end of a very long 12 paragraph "policy update" email from our daycare pres, it ended with this ( apparently some of the parents are upset about fees going up, etc and expressed themselves) what do you think of this?

"Finally, I wanted to raise an issue about the Center's expectation for parent behavior. While the overwhelming majority of our parents are incredibly polite and supportive, we have had occasions where parents have been rather forceful, insistent and/or rude in expressing themselves to our teachers, administrators or other parents. Please understand that while we understand the emotions involved when dealing with issues regarding our kids and that parents will sometimes have very strong reactions to things, if a parent repeatedly acts in ways that make our staff or other parents uncomfortable, that family will be required to leave the Center. Please try to keep things in perspective and realize that we are all trying to do our best. While infrequent, mistakes are sometimes made and there are always opportunities for improvement. However, we have literally been working around the clock - days, nights, weekends, pushing off and cutting short vacations and personal time -- to try and make this a successful first year for the Center and all of our families. Please try to approach things in a productive manner and understand that in a community of many families we may not always be able to get things exactly how we want them."
Anonymous
Sounds like some parent (or parents) got up in a teacher's face about something. Yelling and screaming or otherwise being extremely rude, impolite, or even threatening. I would think this happened to a teacher. If it happened to management, I'd expect them to just handle it. But sounds like they are trying to protect their teachers.

Anonymous
I think the parents are disrespectful to the teachers and administration at best. More likely threatening, aggravating and misbehaving in front of the kids in the class and humiliating the teachers which in turn diminishes the teachers' authority with the (preschool+ age) kids.
Anonymous
This seems ok to me. I would suspect that there are 1 or 2 families who are being extremely rude to the caregivers or administrators, and this is the Center's way of giving them fair warning that the Center has the right to refuse their business, so they can start to look for other daycare - or fix the problem internally. That seems fair to me. Unless discrimination is an issue, people should have the ability to decide whose money they want to accept for their services.

Daycare is a very personal service. When I was a babysitter in my teens, I occasionally had to stop accepting jobs from a family because either their children were a nightmare or the parents were. I had the right to determine who I worked for, just as anyone else does. You wouldn't work for an employer who treats you badly, at least not for very long.

Daycare is a relationship, not just a business. If the Center feels that the parents aren't a good fit for the culture there, they should be able to say that the parents should go elsewhere. (again, this doesn't apply to a discriminatory situation.) There's no monopoly on daycare services - parents always have a choice in where they take their kids - they may just have to go a little farther away, or pay a little more. And frankly, some kids have behavioral issues or personality issues that I think would make a caregiver's day a lot harder. If one child is taking up a disproportionate amount of the caregiver's time every day so she's forced to neglect the other kids, the center is risking the loss of those other parents' business. They should be able to make a judgment call on that as well, with fair warning and the chance to try to improve the situation. Some kids are probably not suited to a daycare center environment, and need more attention.

(Disclaimer: my daughter's in a daycare center, and is thriving. she's an even-tempered kid and very social, so a center is a good environment for her. it's not for every kid!)
Anonymous
parents always have a choice in where they take their kids - they may just have to go a little farther away, or pay a little more.


Do you actually live in this area? Do you know how difficult it is to find care?

(Another well-behaved parent of a well-behaved daycare kid)

Anonymous
It seems reasonable to me, and I wouldn't have been overly concerned if I'd read it from our childcare providers. OP - what did you think?
Anonymous
OP Here. I thought it was over the top. What about "me" attitude.

To be in the service industry, especially child care, you need to be sensitive to the parents needs and not hit back.

I prefer communication from my DC provider not be a personal vent session. Especially in a letter announcing my tuition is going up.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:OP Here. I thought it was over the top. What about "me" attitude.

To be in the service industry, especially child care, you need to be sensitive to the parents needs and not hit back.

I prefer communication from my DC provider not be a personal vent session. Especially in a letter announcing my tuition is going up.


Agreed. But I assumed that they wouldn't issue a letter like this unless they were on the receiving end of truly outrageous behavior. Not just regular disagreements, etc.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:OP Here. I thought it was over the top. What about "me" attitude.

To be in the service industry, especially child care, you need to be sensitive to the parents needs and not hit back.

I prefer communication from my DC provider not be a personal vent session. Especially in a letter announcing my tuition is going up.


There's an old saying, "If you can't pick out the sucker at the table in the first 10 minutes, the sucker is you."

Along those lines, if you think this is over the top, you're probably the problem parent.
Anonymous
To be in the service industry, especially child care, you need to be sensitive to the parents needs and not hit back.

Repeat after me.

To be in the service industry, especially child care, you need to be sensitive to the parents needs and not hit back.


No I am not the problem, I am trying to be part of your solution.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
parents always have a choice in where they take their kids - they may just have to go a little farther away, or pay a little more.


Do you actually live in this area? Do you know how difficult it is to find care?

(Another well-behaved parent of a well-behaved daycare kid)



LOL! Sure do! My daughter went to daycare at 6 weeks because I had to go back to work at 6 weeks, so that limited our options somewhat. Had to reject the idea of a nanny or nanny share due to finances. Had to shelve the idea of finding daycare near my work in DC because of the wait lists. I started looking at daycares when I was 3 months pregnant and toured 6 centers and 6 in-home providers, and called at least a dozen others. I made a spreadsheet with every single option in the area and either dismissed them or toured them. In the end, there were a few situations that would have worked for us and I picked one I thought was best. It's worked out well, and I work hard to keep it that way by treating my daughter's caregivers with trust and respect, paying our tuition on time, following the center's rules to the letter, etc.

I plan to do the same thing when it comes to preschools: start early, be flexible, figure out what's really important, cross my fingers that something opens up when we need it and then pull the trigger when it comes to decision time!
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:To be in the service industry, especially child care, you need to be sensitive to the parents needs and not hit back.

Repeat after me.

To be in the service industry, especially child care, you need to be sensitive to the parents needs and not hit back.


No I am not the problem, I am trying to be part of your solution.

I have never viewed childcare as a 'service industry'. Like school, there is much more to it. I see it more as a partnership in caring for the children. Sure, you pay for it, but you have to work together with the school/institution and the school community. I hate to say it, but I wouldn't be surprised if you were the problem!
Anonymous
The question is regarding what you think of the letter. I think the letter is interesting the way it is written, with a lot of justifying doubletalk. Our daycare sends us nice letters about our children, and upcoming events. Maybe the parents are expressing a change they do not agree with. Why are the pps pointing fingers? Where did the letter come from?
Anonymous
I got the same letter - and had the same initial reaction (husband did also). It seems like if they had a particular problem with someone, they should have just addressed it with that particular person. It seemed kinda creepy - just my opinion.
Anonymous
Bad business and a sign the director may be a poor manager, IMO. If you daycare has several frustrated parents that led to the director writing this note, there are possibly bigger problems at the daycare. If this is the way the director handles it I would wonder about how well the place is run.

I have several customer support groups in my organization and dealing with frustrated clients is an important part of any business, including daycare. First, if someone is very frustrated about something 9 times out of 10 there is some substance to it. Even if it was a well meaning mistake, it is amazing how far acknowledging the problem and apologizing can go. Often this is not the first reaction from employees or poor managers. If they get defensive or convey they don't care then an upset client becomes an very upset client pretty fast. A good manager can handle a situation like this and realize that for every client or parent complaint there are possibly 5 other parents not coming forward but encountering the same thing and considering leaving.

Its crazy not to engage parents and protect enrollments in this economy. An admin staff that punts parents that complain about them and writes newsletters like this could be very irresponsible. They probably feel they are protecting themselves and can afford a few open spots. When they start cutting back on teacher hours/pay and start blaming the economy for their enrollment problems then it could affect everyone.
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