Teachers, is it true that most of the parents you deal with think their children are 'gifted'?

[Anonymous]

I had a very awkward conversation with DD's teacher today. I requested a quick meeting to talk about DD because she has had a lot of anxiety about school recently and has been crying a lot before going to school. I did not tell her the reason for the meeting which I now realize was a mistake. Before I had a chance to talk to her about my concerns she started talking about how DD was a bit above grade level in reading BUT did not qualify to be moved to the top reading group and that her math was skills were good BUT still just average for our high-performing school. After a weird period of silence I thanked her for the information and told her that I had actually come in to talk to her about DD's anxiety and whether she could give us any insights into things that might be causing it like friend or bullying issues or a change in the amount or type of school work. She apologized for making assumptions and we had a productive conversation from there but her speech sounded so rehearsed that I'm guessing she had given it a number of times to other parents. I used to think the whole my child is so gifted thing was just an attitude on DCUM but now I'm wondering whether this is what many people think in real life? I'm also wondering whether it's just me? What's the teacher's stereotype of a parent like this? FWIW, I'm a SAHM and wondered whether that has something to do with the attitude I got.

[Anonymous]

What grade?

I think that attitude happens a LOT in kindergarten and quite a bit in first. In second a little less and by third it is tapering off.

[Anonymous]

I know my kid is gifted and have the WISC scores to prove it.

[Anonymous]

Yes! Through my job, I have learned that the majority of parents believe their children are gifted.

[Anonymous]

Two things:

1. In affluent areas, parents push their children to excel and exploit the term to get them more challenging work so they can beat the competition. These parents are acutely aware that American education is good compared to the rest of the developed world, and that the best colleges receive thousands of application from international students.

2. Giftedness is sometimes hard to recognize because it doesn't mean high-achieving, and that creates confusion on a different level.

My son is gifted and learning disabled.

I certainly came across as *that* parent in the lower elementary grades, when everyone at school was persuaded he was practically mentally retarded (I use the term knowingly). Attitudes began to change in 5th grade, when writing became more rigorous and they were forced to see he was coming up with interesting stuff.

[Anonymous]

Sorry, "American education is NOT good compared to..."

[Anonymous]

PP's comment that the attitude tapers off in the higher grades is interesting.

Do you mean the parents no longer believe their children are gifted or teachers don't think parents believe their children are gifted because they've had a few years to figure out their children's actual level of performance or intelligence?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know my kid is gifted and have the WISC scores to prove it.

Non-responsive. Your child might be gifted, but you? ...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
In affluent areas, parents push their children to excel and exploit the term to get them more challenging work so they can beat the competition.

As an affluent parent, why would I worry about this "competition" you speak of? The whole point of being rich is to buy my kid an easier road.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know my kid is gifted and have the WISC scores to prove it.

Non-responsive. Your child might be gifted, but you? ...

Not the PP you were quoting, but there's no need to be rude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
In affluent areas, parents push their children to excel and exploit the term to get them more challenging work so they can beat the competition.

As an affluent parent, why would I worry about this "competition" you speak of? The whole point of being rich is to buy my kid an easier road.

You keep thinking that! One less to worry about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
In affluent areas, parents push their children to excel and exploit the term to get them more challenging work so they can beat the competition.

As an affluent parent, why would I worry about this "competition" you speak of? The whole point of being rich is to buy my kid an easier road.

You keep thinking that! One less to worry about.

Sorry you're not actually affluent.

[Anonymous]

My kid scored 121 out of 125 on her PALs test in K. Teacher told us to put her in private school. Catholic school did IQ test in second grade and told us she would do well in a more academically challenging environment. In fact, the teacher said DD had a brain but wasn't using it. Later in sixth grade she did CTY. I guess teachers know which kid is bright even if parents don't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
In affluent areas, parents push their children to excel and exploit the term to get them more challenging work so they can beat the competition.

As an affluent parent, why would I worry about this "competition" you speak of? The whole point of being rich is to buy my kid an easier road.

You're going to buy your kid's way into Harvard? If so, you're too rich to be posting on DCUM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Two things:

1. In affluent areas, parents push their children to excel and exploit the term to get them more challenging work so they can beat the competition. These parents are acutely aware that American education is good compared to the rest of the developed world, and that the best colleges receive thousands of application from international students.

2. Giftedness is sometimes hard to recognize because it doesn't mean high-achieving, and that creates confusion on a different level.

My son is gifted and learning disabled.

I certainly came across as *that* parent in the lower elementary grades, when everyone at school was persuaded he was practically mentally retarded (I use the term knowingly). Attitudes began to change in 5th grade, when writing became more rigorous and they were forced to see he was coming up with interesting stuff.

I think the "affluent" part above is true. Also, many parents think that because their child can read a "harder" book at home, and do higher level math, that means the child is gifted. But, that's not always the case.