Teachers, is it true that most of the parents you deal with think their children are 'gifted'?

[Anonymous]

Teacher with a background in gifted ed here. I taught at a public school for gifted students out of state. My issue was that some parents of my moderately gifted (130+ IQ according to WISC or Stanford-Binet) students thought that the 130+ IQ meant their children were prodigies, or that the IQ score meant that Larlo had carte blanche to be an asshole in class. "Well, he's just bored with your curriculum because he's so advanced." Nope, actually, your kid is in the bottom third of my group and is placed appropriately, but thanks for playing.

I've taught in regular ed as well, and I find that the parents of truly average students are not usually under any illusions.

The parents of the few highly gifted (145+) and the one or two profoundly gifted (160+) I've taught over the years also had a good handle on things and were doing their best to raise truly unusual children is an emotionally healthy and responsible way.

It's that 115-135 range that tend to have the difficult parents. Yes, your child is quite bright, maybe even very bright, and on the higher end may need differentiated instruction in some areas. However, your child is not Einstein.

[Anonymous]

But what does a high IQ even mean? Most gifted kids still become relatively average adults.

[Anonymous]

What you mean that almost all the special sonwflakes become gasp typical middle managers

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:But what does a high IQ even mean? Most gifted kids still become relatively average adults.

I think that's the goal, that gifted kids become average adults instead of failures.

[Anonymous]

^^^ I know adults with high IQ who are in prison, cannot keep a job, addicts, etc.

[Anonymous]

When I taught in low income schools, no. The parents there often assume their kids were average academically and were more likely to believe their child had athletic or performance arts talent. Sad, but true. When I got an academically gifted kid, I pushed the parents to take advantage of whatever free or low cost opportunities I could find.

In my high income school, it's true and it is causing extreme anxiety for kids, parents, and staff. A mom asked me about a highly competitive HS program that a friend's son got into the year before.The student's scores, work ethic, and overall raw ability are way below my friend's son and he barely got in so I declined to recommend. I didn't tell her why, but she was really upset. She asked another teacher who complied. The kid didn't get in and the mother blamed me because she argued that the rec would have been stronger coming from the current subject area teacher.

[Anonymous]

PP, as a parent I'm curious about what you wrote. Why not just focus on the student's strengths instead of focusing on his weaknesses in a recommendation? Or did you really think it was that bad of a fit for the child like he wouldn't be able to succeed in the program? Not every child is a genius but may of them work hard and can do well in these programs like CAP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:But what does a high IQ even mean? Most gifted kids still become relatively average adults.

I think that's the goal, that gifted kids become average adults instead of failures.

So kids that aren't gifted end up as failures?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:But what does a high IQ even mean? Most gifted kids still become relatively average adults.

I think that's the goal, that gifted kids become average adults instead of failures.

So kids that aren't gifted end up as failures?

I didn't say that, and I don't think that. Why would you think that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a product of a W school in MoCo - many of the kids who were in the "gifted" classes in elementary did not end up excelling in HS or going to top colleges - and many kids who were not did. I know national merit finalists who have spent their lives struggling with addiction. I know kids who everyone said were the most gifted in elementary school who are now regular teachers themselves (not that there's anything wrong with that, but they didn't end up with a Nobel prize). I know kids who were pushed to excel who now as adults want nothing to do with their parents. Many of the kids who went to top colleges are not thriving post academic life and vice versa. Etc. And remember the context is a place where 95+% are going to 4 year colleges and HHI levels mean nearly everyone is middle to high affluent. The culture of parents focusing on status achievement via their kids is more toxic than helpful.

And of course this means that everyone who was not in gifted programs is in prestigious careers and flourishing in life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^^^ I know adults with high IQ who are in prison, cannot keep a job, addicts, etc.

You need better friends.

[Anonymous]

Looking back now that I'm 42, the people in my high school who ended up successful and in prestigious jobs were the average kids. Bright, friendly, but certainly not gifted. I would say high EQ more so than IQ.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Looking back now that I'm 42, the people in my high school who ended up successful and in prestigious jobs were the average kids. Bright, friendly, but certainly not gifted. I would say high EQ more so than IQ.

That's a good point and I tend to agree.