Stone Ridge Social Life (or lack thereof)

[Anonymous]

My DD is in her first year at SR (9th grade) and is v concerned about the lack of social life. Girls are so spread out geographically that it's difficult for them to get together on the weekends. Wondering if anyone has had a similar experience there, and if the situation improves sophomore year. They have hosted exactly one dance for ninth graders, and there was a mixer at Prep. But that's it. DD is concerned that the next three years will be similar and is having second thoughts about staying. Thoughts?

[Anonymous]

Not sure if I can be helpful, but I attended Stone Ridge many years ago. The social life I cultivated was based on my individual friends and interests, not school-sponsored activities. I remember doing a lot of hanging out with friends on the phone while doing homework or watching the Olympics. I would have sleepovers, etc. with close friends. Yes, my friends were geographically dispersed, but it was manageable. Most of us were so busy with extracurriculars that we did things on the weekend.

What kind of social life are you looking for? Many of the students grew up together from Kindergarten so it may be that your DD is having trouble breaking into the established social scene.

That said, I did not graduate from Stone Ridge because I was asked to leave. I ended up at a MCPS public magnet school and enjoyed that experience very much.

Does your DD have other opportunities for social "scenes"?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not sure if I can be helpful, but I attended Stone Ridge many years ago. The social life I cultivated was based on my individual friends and interests, not school-sponsored activities. I remember doing a lot of hanging out with friends on the phone while doing homework or watching the Olympics. I would have sleepovers, etc. with close friends. Yes, my friends were geographically dispersed, but it was manageable. Most of us were so busy with extracurriculars that we did things on the weekend.

What kind of social life are you looking for? Many of the students grew up together from Kindergarten so it may be that your DD is having trouble breaking into the established social scene.

That said, I did not graduate from Stone Ridge because I was asked to leave. I ended up at a MCPS public magnet school and enjoyed that experience very much.

Does your DD have other opportunities for social "scenes"?

why were you asked to leave?

[Anonymous]

My son is feeling the same way at our private. I'm wondering if you would leave because the social piece is not good, even if you are happy with the academics? Is that reason enough?

[Anonymous]

They have time for social life? Good for them...lol...does she play a sport?

[Anonymous]

Ninth grade tends to be mediocre socially for lots of kids at many different public and private schools. It tends to pick up in 10th and 11th grade.

[Anonymous]

High schools do not program the social lives of students. Probably because kids are just so diverse in theor interests. The kids themselves develop friend groups and take it from there. Does your DD attend school sports events? My DD is at another all girls Catholic school and she is often headed to her friends' games. They have a few dances and some weekend events they can help with (alumnae things) but not a lot of social things. Perhaps she your DD just needs to cultivate friends who live nearer to you if you cannot drive on weekends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DD is in her first year at SR (9th grade) and is v concerned about the lack of social life. Girls are so spread out geographically that it's difficult for them to get together on the weekends. Wondering if anyone has had a similar experience there, and if the situation improves sophomore year. They have hosted exactly one dance for ninth graders, and there was a mixer at Prep. But that's it. DD is concerned that the next three years will be similar and is having second thoughts about staying. Thoughts?

My DD is a junior there. She loves it.

If your DD is looking for more of a public school hangout after school every day kind of atmosphere she won't find that at SR. But is that what you want for your daughter? To us that's one of the big pluses of the school.
My DD plays a sport a season (there are many no cut sports) and also does things like volunteers for best buddies or Special Olympics swim team.
The sports provide much social time and fun. The swim team, for instance, is planning a trip to New York City next year.
The volunteering includes boys from schools like Prep so that can be nice. What about theater is she interested in that ? I've heard that theater can be very social.

Winter Ball was yesterday and the girls seemed to have a lot of fun.

I'm sure the school could improve on it some and add another mixer or two but mostly they focus on the academics and service which is fine by us.

[Anonymous]

Are the other girls friendly at school or does she feel like she is being excluded?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are the other girls friendly at school or does she feel like she is being excluded?

Being excluded doesn't typically happen much there. It's like the PP said you find you eventually settle in with a friend group (or two) and do things with that group.

[Anonymous]

What "thoughts" could anyone possibly have about this situation? Make friends. It's easy.

[Anonymous]

Make friends there or transfer to a school with a more fitting social environment where she will still need an effort to make friends but perhaps will be in an environment where there are more girls like her. My daughter is making this decision now too.

[Anonymous]

I tend to agree with some of the PPs about just finding her friend group. My daughter is at Holton and she doesn't really do a lot on weekends with school friends but she still feels very connected and close to them and would never want to leave the school. I think a lot of girls in her friend group are very studious and they also do outside activities like debate or travel sports so between that and homework there's not a lot of time to just hang out, even on weekends. That being said, my daughter is active in many things at school, like theater, and sees friends often through activities like that. She thinks of her time working on plays as social time so it's not your typical dances and parties but it's what makes her happy. I'm not sure where your daughter's interests lie but I'm sure if she can get more involved in the life of the school she will start to see that there's a lot to do at SR and many people who share her passions.

[Anonymous]

My DD applied to SR upper school and we are waiting for letters. One thing we were concerned about is if new girls can fit in easily since so many of the girls have been together for years. Admissions goes out of its way to make applicants believe this is not a problem. Is it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DD applied to SR upper school and we are waiting for letters. One thing we were concerned about is if new girls can fit in easily since so many of the girls have been together for years. Admissions goes out of its way to make applicants believe this is not a problem. Is it?

My daughter is in middle school at SR and it's true that many girls have been there since lower school but they are often excited for new girls to join the class. I would say that in high school many kids come from parochial schools so if your daughter is joining from there she will be fine - it's a small community and many girls at SR play CYO sports and already know them. It might be harder to assimilate if she's coming without connections but if she's outgoing and friendly it should be fine. Playing a fall sport should help so encourage her to do that. Best of luck!