Stone Ridge Social Life (or lack thereof)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like your daughter is mourning for her MS experience. What a terrible Catch-22 to have to choose social over academics or the other way around. I would never discount a teenager's saddness and if you truly feel that she would be happier going back to public then let her go. Sounds like you and your DH were fine with the academics at the public school... maybe she is missing the co-ed experience. Did she choose Stone Ridge for herself? I would be a bit wary if her MS friends are really not reaching out to her at all to stay in touch.

I would never encourage a high schooler to leave a good school for a social experience that is based on how it was in middle school, but that's just me.
The whole idea behind most of the private schools is fewer daily social issues (such as hair and makeup done daily to compete for boys/girl attention? Who is dating who, who is on what drug today, who is my friend today and who isn't speaking to me today because of Xyz ,etc) to focus on getting an education that you can use for the rest of your life. You can do that certainly but I wonder what you thought a private single sex school was about?

[Anonymous]

Our hope was that an all-girls' school might offer an environment where my DD might feel more confident about pursuing activities in which she could take on leadership roles. Further, my DH is Catholic, went to Catholic hs and found religion to be particularly meaningful during those rough and tumble hs years. DD has never been one to fret over hair, make-up and clothes in the AM; so we were not looking to an all-girls' school to eliminate any morning drama. Agree with previous post that issues such as competing for the attention of boys are basically non-issues at SR. However, there are other, equally troubling issues at an all-girls' school; girls can be hyper-critical of each other or "judge-y" as my DD says. And yes, I'm all for a hs experience that is focused on studies and that provides a solid path to college. However, I am a firm believer in a well-rounded hs experience. I find it narrow-minded to think about hs only in terms of a stepping stone to college. Life goes on beyond college, and some of those formative hs experiences (broken hearts, questionable teenage behavior, boy-girl friendships, etc) are ones that provide important, meaningful life lessons.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our hope was that an all-girls' school might offer an environment where my DD might feel more confident about pursuing activities in which she could take on leadership roles. Further, my DH is Catholic, went to Catholic hs and found religion to be particularly meaningful during those rough and tumble hs years. DD has never been one to fret over hair, make-up and clothes in the AM; so we were not looking to an all-girls' school to eliminate any morning drama. Agree with previous post that issues such as competing for the attention of boys are basically non-issues at SR. However, there are other, equally troubling issues at an all-girls' school; girls can be hyper-critical of each other or "judge-y" as my DD says. And yes, I'm all for a hs experience that is focused on studies and that provides a solid path to college. However, I am a firm believer in a well-rounded hs experience. I find it narrow-minded to think about hs only in terms of a stepping stone to college. Life goes on beyond college, and some of those formative hs experiences (broken hearts, questionable teenage behavior, boy-girl friendships, etc) are ones that provide important, meaningful life lessons.

News Flash: Girls are hyper critical and "judge-y" at co-ed schools too. There are always going to be that group of kids in every school from every SES level to every race.

It is how the schools handle it that makes a difference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our hope was that an all-girls' school might offer an environment where my DD might feel more confident about pursuing activities in which she could take on leadership roles. Further, my DH is Catholic, went to Catholic hs and found religion to be particularly meaningful during those rough and tumble hs years. DD has never been one to fret over hair, make-up and clothes in the AM; so we were not looking to an all-girls' school to eliminate any morning drama. Agree with previous post that issues such as competing for the attention of boys are basically non-issues at SR. However, there are other, equally troubling issues at an all-girls' school; girls can be hyper-critical of each other or "judge-y" as my DD says. And yes, I'm all for a hs experience that is focused on studies and that provides a solid path to college. However, I am a firm believer in a well-rounded hs experience. I find it narrow-minded to think about hs only in terms of a stepping stone to college. Life goes on beyond college, and some of those formative hs experiences (broken hearts, questionable teenage behavior, boy-girl friendships, etc) are ones that provide important, meaningful life lessons.

Nobody said a thing about college.

You must have known those things that you state when DD chose the school so it's just confusing that a year in these things would become issues. It's just confusing.

[Anonymous]

OP...it sounds to me like you want to honor your daughters request to go back to public school. That is totally fine. Just make sure she knows that this will be it. Changing again after 10th grade would be really hard. Have a frank discussion with her about her academic experience in middle school and how it made her feel. Make sure she knows that those old friends may have moved on and she would have to make new ones.but if she really is miserable at her new school I would let her switch she is old enough to make big decisions like these and learn to live with them. Many very successful people went to not so great high schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like your daughter is mourning for her MS experience. What a terrible Catch-22 to have to choose social over academics or the other way around. I would never discount a teenager's saddness and if you truly feel that she would be happier going back to public then let her go. Sounds like you and your DH were fine with the academics at the public school... maybe she is missing the co-ed experience. Did she choose Stone Ridge for herself? I would be a bit wary if her MS friends are really not reaching out to her at all to stay in touch.

I would never encourage a high schooler to leave a good school for a social experience that is based on how it was in middle school, but that's just me.
The whole idea behind most of the private schools is fewer daily social issues (such as hair and makeup done daily to compete for boys/girl attention? Who is dating who, who is on what drug today, who is my friend today and who isn't speaking to me today because of Xyz ,etc) to focus on getting an education that you can use for the rest of your life. You can do that certainly but I wonder what you thought a private single sex school was about?

+1

This is exactly right. You are comparing a public middle school to a private high school. Who is to say she will go back to the high school in 10th and be happy? There may be more socialization going on but there is also more dangers and drama. My daughter left public for all the "too cool for school" nonsense and is happy in private.