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How many dads stay overnight in hospital? Do they really want to?
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Anonymous
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I'm wondering if I should encourage my husband to go home and just get some rest. When he stayed with me for my first child, he was constantly waking up when they'd bring the baby in. It would have been nice if one of us could have been rested by the time I got home.
For you dads out there, do you really want to stay in the hospital room overnight? Moms, do you really want them? |
Anonymous
| With my last pregnancy I had a c-section so I was in the hospital for several nights. My husband was so uncomfortable the first night, I told him just to sleep at home after that. We are only 15 min. from the hospital. This time we are going to do the same thing, since I am having a c-section again. He will just leave in the evening and come back in the morning. I don't see any reason for him to be uncomfortable for so many days in a row. |
Anonymous
Yes! The hospital stay was the best 4 days of my life. My husband stayed every night, the dietary people even brought him meals. I'm sure he would have liked to probably get a good nights rest, but we were finally a family and he enjoyed diaper changing and feeding. |
Anonymous
| The first night he did. Then, i sent him home. I needed him to be rested. |
Anonymous
| DH stayed with the entire time for #1, despite repeatedly telling him to go home and sleep. This time, he'll be with me for labor, but after #2 is born, he'll have to go home to stay with #1. I dont want her to be without mommy or daddy for longer than necessary. Once she's sleeping, he can certainly come to the hospital to visit for a few more hours, but he should be there when she wakes up. |
Anonymous
| I think it depends on a lot of factors. C-section vs. vaginal delivery, easy delivery vs. difficult, first child vs. others at home, attentive nurses vs. not, baby thriving vs. not, length of drive to and from, etc. The more complicated your situation, the more you really need a supportive advocate there. But even with a easy, straightforward birth and recovery, I would have a hard time sending my husband home. If nothing else, it gives him a wakeup call that Life Is Different now -- and that you're in it together. |
Anonymous
Wasn't your baby up all night? Who helped you feed the baby at night and change him? I think that is something important for the OP to consider. |
Anonymous
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OP here. This is helpful. Hope that more people keep replying.
My husband doesn't really see how to help, and last time around, basically did nothing to help baby or me. I called the nurse every time while DH was on blackberry alerting the entire world about the birth of his son. Maybe this time, I should make a list of helpful things that he can do other than beat his chest and crow that he's a dad. |
Anonymous
| I am seven months pregnant with our first, so I can't speak from experience yet, but my feeling is that I will definitely want him to stay with me, as much for "moral support" as for practical reasons (like helping with the baby during the night). |
Anonymous
You can get help from the nurses in the middle of the night! They will do all diaper changes and take him or her to the nursery to sleep for a couple hours if you like. Take advantage-these are the only 2 nights you will have professional help! |
Anonymous
| I delivered my first via c-section at VHC and DH stayed with me the entire time. And we lived in the same neighborhood as the hospital at the time. At first I really needed him because I was so out of it from the surgery but then as others said, we just saw it as "we are in this together" and that's how it went. He was very active in changing diapers, etc. In fact, besides feeding he probably did more than me those first few days. For #2 it clearly can't be that way since we will have #1 to worry about (and no family in the area). I'm still in my first trimester so we haven't figured out the details yet, but I'm sure he'll be there as much as possible. |
Anonymous
| I had a c-section. I don't think I would have been able to change baby's diapers by myself. My husband did that. I wasn't even allowed out of the bed for 24 hours after surgery. We were responsible for feeding and diapering. I guess if I were alone, the nurses would have helped diaper, but it never crossed my mind. |
Anonymous
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I had 2 normal vaginal pregnancies and with #1 I thought for sure I wanted him to stay (I started contractions at night so I was in the hospital on full night and he stayed with me - and the baby was born in the morning, by then I did not care if he was with me - I just wanted to relax by myself, I was so wiped out.
Baby #2 - same situation and plus I wanted him to go home to take care of Baby #1 since we had never had a babysitter before. I got to relax - I am glad he went home. |
Anonymous
| For my first, my husband was there non-stop and it was greatly appreciated. With my second, he insisted on staying 3 of the 4 nights but I insisted he take longer breaks and go take care of stuff around the house. With my third (and final!) I think I'll have him spend the first night with me and the rest of the time at home. My mom has even offered to stay at the hospital with me but I need her to keep up her strength for the following week -- I'm actually looking forward to some peace and quiet! |
Anonymous
| My husband stayed - he didn't sleep well, but he did sleep more than I did in the hospital. I was glad to have him there, and I wouldn't have dreamed of sending him home when he wanted to be there. He did run home once each day to take a better shower and to drop things off. |