How many dads stay overnight in hospital? Do they really want to?

[Anonymous]

We brought an air matteress with us (even fit in the smallish rooms at GW) and DH slept there for all 3 nights. He'll be with me if I am in labor overnight this time, but I'll send him home to sleep with DC1 otherwise.

Even when I was in labor, I still sent him out to get food and pick up some stuff we left. He also went to work for a few hours on the 2 days after the baby was born. I'd rather have him home when I am home with the baby - not when I'm in the hospital and have nurses looking after me.

[Anonymous]

My DH stayed all the nights with both C's. I felt like it was important for him to be there b/c I am laid up and out of it for quite a few hours!!! I wanted him to be there to advocate for anything, not to mention I want the kid to be with me all the time.

He left during the day to get some stuff done and I was more alert, but in a weird way, it was a very special bonding time for our fam in the hosp room!

[Anonymous]

Wow, new poster here and new mom (to be) so I can't say what I've done in the past, only what we plan to do. DH plans to stay. In fact, I couldn't keep him away! we are delivering at Sibley so I'm nervous (but not as nervous as he is) that we'll get forced into a shared room and he'll have to go home. The reason he wants to stay is similar to what so many others have said: we're in this together! He has been waiting patiently for 8 months now for this little package to arrive and it will be every much his baby as mine. The way he sees it, why does mom get to "hog" all the diaper changes and baby care at the hospital? (Please god, let this attitude stick...) I know that he will be devastated to be told he has to part with his new baby -- no matter how exhausted he is. As far as comfort goes, before we met he spent 8 years as a professional musician in an indie band and touring was his "job." He can sleep anywhere!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I sent my husband home with both #1 and #2.

I also sent my newborns to the nursery at night so that I could get sleep. I told the nurses I was BF and to bring me my child when they were hungry AND no pacifiers!

I needed my husband to be well rested and I did not believe he would have that sleeping on the pull out chair provided at GT hospital.

Note: I had a short labor and vaginal delivery for both children.

If I had a C-section, I think my decision may have been different. Having someone in your room to help at night when you cannot independently get in and out of bed is helpful.

This post could have been written by me as well although I gave birth at VHC. We live really close the hospital so I thought it was important that my DH got some sleep in our own bed. He is 6'3" and I know he wouldn't have been comfortable on that pull out chair/couch. It was a little scary with my 1st being alone at night especially when I had the baby with me at night and he would not stop crying, but by my second I was more comfortable sending the baby to the nursery and getting some sleep of my own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am seven months pregnant with our first, so I can't speak from experience yet, but my feeling is that I will definitely want him to stay with me, as much for "moral support" as for practical reasons (like helping with the baby during the night).

You can get help from the nurses in the middle of the night! They will do all diaper changes and take him or her to the nursery to sleep for a couple hours if you like. Take advantage-these are the only 2 nights you will have professional help!

Exactly! We didn't do a single diaper change at the hospital. The nurses were terrific. And our baby was not up all night. She slept until feeding time -- up about every three hours. I tried to make the most of that time by . . . SLEEPING!

And going back to OP's original question, DH went home to do the same. Neither of us feels like he missed out on anything or that we did not bond as a family. There was so much of that wonderful time during the day at the hospital and again when we got home. So we didn't think that restless nights of non-sleep were necessary to seal the deal.