How many dads stay overnight in hospital? Do they really want to?

[Anonymous]

I sent my husband home... I did not see the point of both of us being exhausted and I wanted him to be able to bring me yummy, non-hospital food in the morning. In fact, food fetching was his primary job after DD was born- he brought me dinner, breakfast, and lunch the next day. But, I only spent one night in the hospital (checked in at 1pm on Saturday, discharged with baby at 4pm on Sunday) so it wasn't like I was there all that long.

[Anonymous]

Where are you delivering and how comfortable do they make it for DH? I was at GW. As much as I like the hospital and doctors, the recovery rooms are TINY and the chair/bed for DH did not look appealing. After #1 was born, he actually drove home at 3 am instead of sleeping there! We both figured he'd be better off getting actual sleep in a real bed for a few more nights before the screaming mimi arrived home. With #2, he also slept at home even though my parents were there watching #1.

[Anonymous]

I sent my husband home with both #1 and #2.

I also sent my newborns to the nursery at night so that I could get sleep. I told the nurses I was BF and to bring me my child when they were hungry AND no pacifiers!

I needed my husband to be well rested and I did not believe he would have that sleeping on the pull out chair provided at GT hospital.

Note: I had a short labor and vaginal delivery for both children.

If I had a C-section, I think my decision may have been different. Having someone in your room to help at night when you cannot independently get in and out of bed is helpful.

[Anonymous]

Mine stayed the whole time, only took a break to get some food at Chipotle's on day two while I participated in a breastfeeding session.

This was our first and DH was fairly clueless about what to do with the baby so he spent a lot of time with the nurses learning to change the baby, swaddle her, burp her, etc. By the time we went home he knew more than me . Neither of us got any rest but we were so excited I don't think he would have slept much if he had gone home.

We were at Shady Grove, the pull out couch there was comfortable enough and the room was pretty big.

[Anonymous]

I had a C-section and couldn't get out of bed by myself for the first couple days. I was SO grateful my husband stayed the whole time. There were a few times when he was out of the room and I would call for the nurse, and it would be 10 or 15 minutes before they would respond. Maybe I was just there during a busy time (at Sibley). It sucks to be there alone with the baby screaming and waiting for someone to come help for 15 minutes.

[Anonymous]

My husband stayed the entire time. I had a c-section and needed him there for support-- physical and emotional. He was fantastic, I can't imagine him not being there. he got some sleep, about as much as I did, but it really solidified our adventure as happening to both of us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had a c-section. I don't think I would have been able to change baby's diapers by myself. My husband did that. I wasn't even allowed out of the bed for 24 hours after surgery. We were responsible for feeding and diapering. I guess if I were alone, the nurses would have helped diaper, but it never crossed my mind.

Ditto this. I could barely sit up by myself, let alone take care of a baby the first few nights. My c-section followed a very long and exhausting labor, so I think I had a rougher recovery than most, but still I don't know what I would've done without DH there.

[Anonymous]

I had two c-sections and sent my husband home each night both times. The green chairs at Sibley look horribly uncomfortable, the nurses did everything I needed, and when my screwy biological clock had me wide awake at 3 am, I could turn on the light and read. I actually liked it better without him at night. But boy did I value his company and attention to me and baby during the day.

[Anonymous]

Wow, great topic! With my DD, I was a single mom so I stayed alone. My parents, friends and family offered to stay but I didn't feel it was approriate. Now with #2 on the way, I haven't thought about what my bf will do! I really hope he stays the whole time, seeing as this is his first it will be good practice with newborns. (My DD is now 3, so he's got the toddler stage down pat.) I guess we will just have to see how the sleeping arrangements are at Alexandria Hospital. I see that being the only determining factor.

[Anonymous]

My DH didn't stay overnight at all.

I had an emergency c-section at around 7 pm. So, it was rather late by the time we were all set up in the mother-baby ward. Even though I couldn't walk or get out of bed, I sent DH home. I knew he'd sleep MUCH better at home and the nurses were there to help me. I was breastfeeding so they would bring DS to me when he needed to be fed and I'd call for them to take him back to the nursery. They were very quick to respond to me - especially when I had the baby with me.

DH will definately be sleeping at home when #2 comes too (unless I'm in active labor overnight). I'd like him to be home for DS#1. And, he gets way too anxious and antsy in the hospital and I wasn't really asking him to do anything. Even when I was in labor with #1, I was letting him leave to eat meals and run quick errands.

[Anonymous]

I've already posted on this, but seeing the comments from those who've had c-sections reminded me of something - at Shady Grove, unless the father/support person stays overnight, they take the baby back to the nursery if you've had a c-section, and I wonder if other area hospitals might have the same policy.

[Anonymous]

At Sibley, it's up to you whether to keep the baby. I had c-sections, and would have them bring the baby when he needed to eat, but keep him otherwise during the night. Needless to say, when I went home, I really missed the nursery.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had two c-sections and sent my husband home each night both times. The green chairs at Sibley look horribly uncomfortable, the nurses did everything I needed, and when my screwy biological clock had me wide awake at 3 am, I could turn on the light and read. I actually liked it better without him at night. But boy did I value his company and attention to me and baby during the day.

A dad here - we delivered at Sibley, and I stayed the first night (although we delivered at almost 1:00 am, so we didn't get to the room until very early in the morning). You're right about those green chairs that fold out into a "bed" - they could haven been used as midevil torture devices. The next 2 nights, I went home - although I left the hospital at midnight, and was back by 7:00 - we live less than 15 minutes away.

[Anonymous]

I had a planned c-section, was in the hospital for 4 days and my husband went home only to shower and change, check the mail and send email pictures to far away friends and relatives. I wouldn't have it any other way. The baby stayed in with me in my room so he was helpful with diaper changes, getting nurses, tracking down lactation consultants, etc. AS to whether or not he wanted to, he's a rather guilt ridden soul so he probably would have felt bad leaving me.

[Anonymous]

I have two children - both vaginal deliveries - my husband has yet to spend the night in the hospital with me.

My daughter was born 2:15 a.m. We were both so exhausted, we sent baby to the nursery, I went to bed, and he went home and to bed (only to come back like 5 hours later when I woke up and panicked!)

When my son was born, husband went home at night to stay with my daughter.