Would you have said something?

[Anonymous]

My SIL who is a teacher has always been very cold. Nothing has happened she is just one of those people who does not engage, speaks only to my BIL (husband's family) and prefers animals to people. They do not have children by choice, they made the decision before they married. She ignores my children (both under the age of 6) and often rolls her eyes if they get loud. They often skip the kids birthday parties and give them one gift to share (they have lots of money).

We had a family dinner with in-laws (my children were there and at the table) and we were talking about grandparents day at school and I asked her if they had something similar at her school. She said no and went on to say how she was glad that she worked with older kids so she didn't have to deal with that kind of "cutesy crap". I said "like parties" and she said yes and went on to say how she couldn't stand little kids. There was a few seconds of silence before my in-laws changed the subject.

I was just really angry, it seems like she was making a jab about kids, when my 2 kids were sitting right there. I keep going back and forth about whether I should have said something. We see them a few times a year for holidays and birthdays.

[Anonymous]

Nope.

[Anonymous]

She's a jerk, but I wouldn't have said anything. Anyone with half a brain listening to that conversation will come to their own conclusion about her character.

[Anonymous]

You can't change b!tch. Don't waste your time.

[Anonymous]

I would not have said anything.

[Anonymous]

What do you wish you'd said, OP?

[Anonymous]

I'm not one to respond in the moment, so I wouldn't have said anything. And I don't think this is a situation where you need to get angry - clearly SIL is a grouch, and she won't change. I would limit contact, and not worry about it at all.

[Anonymous]

Why would you even engage her when you know she hates kids (which is strange that she is a teacher)?

My sister never had kids. Deep down I think she would have liked one and very much keeps her distance because of it.

[Anonymous]

In this case, you stand out as the better person for not saying anything. And I'm the type of person who never lets things lie! I think it was better here, though, because iy is quite apparent to everyone in that room that she's a bitch, there's no changing her, and the silence may have actually embarrassed her, you may never know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I'm not one to respond in the moment, so I wouldn't have said anything. And I don't think this is a situation where you need to get angry - clearly SIL is a grouch, and she won't change. I would limit contact, and not worry about it at all.

+1


You appreciate a relationship she doesn't. That doesn't make you wrong or your kids less. She just doesn't get what you have and that's her loss, I suppose, but there are probably things (like having a relationship with animals) that you can't appreciate the way she does.

[Anonymous]

At the time I would have said something in a jovial tone like: "Well except for Larla and Larlo right? I know you love them!" and then watched her squirm.

But otherwise, I'd disengage completely. You don't need to start a family war if you only see her sometimes.

[Anonymous]

"Well, I'M not a fan of intolerant, rude adults who don't take the feelings of others, particularly their family members, into consideration."

"By the way, while you may not be able to stand little kids, they are the future and if you care about things like social security and Medicare you'll recognize that least WE'RE doing OUR part by producing tax payers to replace the two of us."

[Anonymous]

No. She's saying enough about herself. Sheesh. I feel bad for you!

[Anonymous]

Nope you did that perfectly. Let her open her mouth and show her true self. You would've appeared nasty by responding back.

[Anonymous]

Waste of time to say anything.