What's the minimum level of monthly income minus mortgage you'd feel comfortable with?
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Anonymous
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We're in our late 20s, contemplating how many kids to have, and the economics of having a kid is a major consideration. Our current plan is DH becomes full time stay-at-home, I keep working. So, not spending any money on daycare or anything like that. We're inbound for Deal/Wilson (so no money spent on private school either), with a 3k-a-month mortgage.
My salary will be somewhere between $120k and $150k depending on which job offer I take. The $120k job sounds a lot more fun and interesting; the $150k job pays better obviously. either job probably won't see much in the way of salary changes for many years to come. What do you all consider to be a doable level of income-minus-mortgage for one kid? Two kids? However many kids you have? (One small detail that's possibly relevant to our scenario but shouldn't factor into you telling me your personal feelings about it: the kids would have dual Australian citizenship plus family there, and since Sydney and Melbourne both have world class universities we'll probably be sending them there for college in order to save a metric fuckton of money over US tuition. That will probably shift our savings goals slightly.) Other details that are possibly relevant: He's not planning on ever returning to work -- he never found the working quite as fulfilling as I did, so he's going to focus fully on his hobbies aside from the obvious SAH parent/house responsibilities. We've previously been at $150k combined income when working while paying $3k in rent and it felt super easy -- we were taking 4 or 5 international trips a year on that salary and saving didn't feel hard. Though we had some job perks at the time (triple matching of retirement contributions from work, etc) that certainly helped. Presumably expenses with a kid will be different. We're also not sure how preschool costs would work -- we have Pre-K 3 and 4 provided by the local public elementary school, so does that mean we're in the clear on needing to pay anything additional? |
Anonymous
| Financially, if you actually get and can keep those jobs it should work as long as you are frugal and his "hobbies" aren't too expensive. I would personally be a bit concerned and want to really delve into some of this perhaps with an independent third party before embarking. There is nothing wrong with SAHP, but it sounds like he's doing it because he couldn't find any work that he liked. That is possibly a red flag to explore. Being a SAHP is hard and he may not like that either. What happens then? It is also a huge responsibility to support a family and it sounds like you haven't even started your job/jobs yet. You need to think long and hard about this so you don't end up resentful. Also I would seriously bulk up savings, like a year's worth, if you are the only provider. It's certainly doable, but if it were me I would want for us to go in with eyes wide open and strong communication. |
Anonymous
OP here. Perhaps I should clarify; that's not really his mindset. He frequently talks about how he has his 'dream job' and really enjoys his work. But he doesn't see work as nearly the most important calling in his life compared to raising a family. His dad also gave up a successful career to raise him full time, so he grew up from a young age imagining he'd do the same, and more generally he thinks of paying for childcare as 'outsourcing raising my kid to a stranger'. Whereas I've never really thought of myself as the sort of person who would want to raise a kid, and my work is more central to my identity than his is to him. |
Anonymous
| 20 K monthly income. |
Anonymous
20k take-home after mortgage? Wow, what on earth would you be spending that much money on? |
Anonymous
| 6-7 is the absolute minimum I'd be comfortable with. |
Anonymous
Even assuming a full-time stay at home parent, and after mortgage? We have less than that after mortgage right now with no kids and feel wealthy beyond measure. Where do you see that much money going? |
Anonymous
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Besides $3000/mo for your mortgage, you're going to need at least $500/mo for food, $500/mo. for utilities (I have a SFH in bounds for Deal/Wilson - utilities are not cheap), $800/mo for property tax and insurance, and $500/mo for diapers and other basic living expenditures. Then, plan to save $200/mo for regular home maintenance costs (again, SFH in NWDC are expensive to maintain), plus money for vacations and activities.
Will your employer cover 100% health insurance and deductibles, and retirement/pension? |
Anonymous
Thanks for the reply -- maybe we're talking at things differently! when I say $3k a month mortgage, that's including property tax withholding (and then we get back ~$500 per month at the end of the year in tax deductions). If I had $800 a month for property tax and insurance to think about, I'd just call that a $4k mortgage. So the number I'm talking about is "money to live on, minus mortgage + property tax + insurance" I guess. Our utilities costs are really, really different, which is odd when you think about it (also in NWDC, also in bounds for Deal/Wilson)... Maybe it's because we're in a 1400 sqft townhome rather than SFH, but we're only spending about $150 a month on utilities. Didn't realize townhome vs SFH would make a significant difference. |
Anonymous
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Most employers don't pay as much (or anything) toward family premiums. DH pays $400/month for me and DS.
You'll need to put money in a retirement account for your husband. You may want to do lessons/activities with your children before they start PK. You will want an intermittent babysitter, for date nights, when your DH has a doctor's appointment, or if his hobbies coincide with your having to work late or travel. You will find yourselves outsourcing more than you did. Before kids, DH and I could retile our bathroom ourselves, but now someone has to watch the kids. You may want a housekeeper, or maybe you'll eat out more. You may spend extra in gas or transit costs if DH likes to take the children out frequently. Once your children are over 2, you need to buy an additional plane ticket(s) when you go to Australia. Obviously, you can live on an HHI of $120k. I don't think anyone will dispute that. But maybe not if you want a comparable lifestyle to what you have now. |
Anonymous
| We have a similar mortgage and no childcare expenses (staggered schedules) or college savings (already saved), and we make around $225k. I guess we could drop by about $25k and still be okay with no vacations or luxuries at all. Not less than that. And, certainly not with one of us trying to occupy our time with hobbies. That just sounds insane. |
Anonymous
| I think you should try having one kid first and then go from there. |
Anonymous
| $10,000 for two kids as a bare minimum. This does not include the mortgage and the other things that you mentioned (public school, Australian college, etc.). |
Anonymous
Same question asked before -- where do you see the money going? |
Anonymous
Take home after mortgage? |