When To Tell Work I'm Expecting (Male)

[Anonymous]

My wife is pregnant and we're expecting our first child this summer. Very exciting!

Low on the list of my immediate concerns is, when do I tell work? Not that I'm overly fretting about this decision, but I'm just wondering what's the norm? 6 months before expected? 3 months? 1 month?

[Anonymous]

Congratulations...most people like to wait until the chance of miscarriage is very low, after the first trimester (usually around 12 or so weeks). Some people don't care and are ready.

I think both my husband and I told when I hit the 16 week mark. For me it was about giving my company plenty of time to prepare for my 14 week maternity leave plus the later you go the more dr. appointments you usually have. My husband only took a few weeks off - think the first week the baby was born, then waited until later to take some more time. If you are planning on taking a lot of time off, I would think you'd want to give them at least 3 months or so to prepare.

[Anonymous]

Dh and I were just discussing this last night. He plans on taking 4 months off (2x longer than me). We're sure his work will be really happy for him though. We were thinking of telling when I'm 4 months pregnant.

I'm not telling my work (they won't be happy with my pregnancy) until I'm showing.

[Anonymous]

Congrats!

It depends on your work environment and also how long you plan to be out.

If you plan to be out for an extended time, your work will need to put a plan in place to cover your duties and tasks while you're gone. Also at a previous place, we had to submit the necessary forms by a specific timeline if we planned to take an extended time off using FMLA. So your work will definitely know when you submit the forms.

Some work environments are more family and close knit then others. So they'll want to give you a baby shower and have you bring in the wife, etc. So want to share the joy.

Others might just treat it as a bit of news and go on about the daily business, while planning for your time off. (I can see my current place being like that)

But you'll also start taking more time off to take your wife to the doctor, especially closer to the due date, which becomes weekly appointments. So it might help to let your work know why you're constantly taking off.

Guess I didn't really answer the question but hope maybe you can figure a timeline out with the above.

Good luck with everything!

btw, I'd say at least three months, just throwing out a date. You don't want to wait too late in case your baby comes early.

[Anonymous]

OP here. We're currently about 18 weeks pregnant.

My wife is planning on taking 3 months and has already told work.

I am planning on taking 3 weeks. Obviously, that doesn't require as much time for preparation. Plus the nature of my work is fairly independent.

[Anonymous]

I'dtell them now.

[Anonymous]

Men take off work for this??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Men take off work for this??

Please don't procreate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Men take off work for this??

Um, yea? My dh took off about two weeks following the birth of each kid. Paternity leave - Google it. Did you just drop in from 1950 or something?

[Anonymous]

You aren't expecting. Your wife is!

[Anonymous]

For the love of all things, I thought this was like the transgender male who was on Oprah and had 2 children with his wife.

What a letdown.

I read your title a bit too literally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You aren't expecting. Your wife is!

Aren't they both expecting a child? Yes the wife is the only one pregnant though.

[Anonymous]

DH told around 12 weeks. He wanted to look into leave (lucky dog gets 6 weeks paternity).

[Anonymous]

"We're" not 18 weeks pregnant...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Men take off work for this??

lol +1. In liberal ass DC, apparently they do. Guess his wife wears the pants.