Do you think we will see a massive uptick in women choosing to stay home after this?

[Anonymous]

SAHM here. Husband in big tech, so probably won’t be financially affected? Hopefully. I’m a SAHM because I worked part time from home for years, then went full time from home, then got let go because of cutbacks and couldn’t find any more part time jobs in my field at home. I guess I’m spoiled from working from home for years, and my part time work really didn’t bring in much money. I just did it to say I did something. It sounded good even though it paid little.

I think have one parent who can at least have a flexible schedule is really helpful, and I’m glad I didn’t have to put my kid in day care. But I also didn’t love my job and my husband makes a good amount of money.

The major down sides for me are feeling useless sometimes. My husband never makes me feel like it’s “his” money, but I liked making my own money. And boredom. My kids aren’t little anymore and are basically self sufficient, so I don’t know what to do with myself.

I think IF you can afford it and IF one parent isn’t really ambitious with his or her career, it makes life easier for everybody in the family. But those are big ifs. And when my kids go to college I don’t know what I’m going to do. Sometimes I feel like I wasted all of my education. I wish I’d picked a more lucrative career that also had flexibility.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I suspect we’ll see fewer SAHMs as the value of having two paychecks will become more apparent. All those women married to high earning lawyers who thought they were set are going to realize how quickly that big paycheck can disappear.

Meh. The people who can truly afford to have a SAH parent are also smart enough to have figured all of this out. Most of us have mitigated the risks before we made the switch from a dual income home to a single income home. I am a SAHM and we are very favorably situated in this pandemic and doing very well. We have lived on 1/2 what my DH has made for years. We are completely sorted out in terms of liquid cash, mortgage, retirement, medical and college.

In DMV at least, when an educated woman chooses to become a SAHM its because the family has cash reserves and insurance. This is not Podunk, Trumplandia. No one is a teen mom here. I hope the high earning lawyer who lost his job has a lot of cash socked away. It not then I can only laugh at the entitlement that made them think that frugality is beneath them.

You sound totally clueless. There are plenty of families where the SAHM couldn’t make enough to justify childcare and had little interest in working and a high-earning spouse so it was an easy decision. It does not mean they had millions socked away so they could withstand any economic crisis. Do you know how many SAHMs had to go back to work after the 2008 recession?

You are right, of course, but I wouldn't bother. That PP is astonishingly self-absorbed, but any rational reader can see that. She doesn't possess the ability to extrapolate outside of her own immediate frame of reference.

I mean, do you really even want to try to reason with somebody who boasts about how she wants to laugh at the real and awful financial troubles of families? It's like trying to reason with a pit viper.

Well, this pit viper has a nest egg that was built by living frugally so I am ok. What about you?

I think it is a sign of entitlement that people think they don't have to to live frugally and that they deserve every luxury. I have a friend who bought a million dollar home and has very little savings. I can understand that people who are making less than 100K are struggling to make end meet, but a 4-member family with HHI of 300K+ is struggling? Why? Well because they were travelling internationally and taking luxurious vacations and they think they deserve all material luxuries that the universe has to offer. I am sorry but I cannot muster up enough sympathy for them. I will save my sympathy for people who are low earners and actually are struggling to make ends meet.

It will be interesting to see how all of this will play out.

I stand corrected. It is like trying to reason with a dim and slow pit viper.

[Anonymous]

Very few people on the face of the Earth make 300K per year. Of course you can afford to downsize, and spend more time being a parent.

We are 2 teachers with 2 kids who live amazing lives on about 100K a year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I suspect we’ll see fewer SAHMs as the value of having two paychecks will become more apparent. All those women married to high earning lawyers who thought they were set are going to realize how quickly that big paycheck can disappear.

Meh. The people who can truly afford to have a SAH parent are also smart enough to have figured all of this out. Most of us have mitigated the risks before we made the switch from a dual income home to a single income home. I am a SAHM and we are very favorably situated in this pandemic and doing very well. We have lived on 1/2 what my DH has made for years. We are completely sorted out in terms of liquid cash, mortgage, retirement, medical and college.

In DMV at least, when an educated woman chooses to become a SAHM its because the family has cash reserves and insurance. This is not Podunk, Trumplandia. No one is a teen mom here. I hope the high earning lawyer who lost his job has a lot of cash socked away. It not then I can only laugh at the entitlement that made them think that frugality is beneath them.

You're delusional. Almost no family other than those with trusts etc. are prepared to have no income indefinitely if the one working spouse gets laid off. Many, many families here are in law and tech, and many big law and tech firms will be laying people off. I highly doubt you've prepared for both of you not to work for months and months.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I suspect we’ll see fewer SAHMs as the value of having two paychecks will become more apparent. All those women married to high earning lawyers who thought they were set are going to realize how quickly that big paycheck can disappear.

Meh. The people who can truly afford to have a SAH parent are also smart enough to have figured all of this out. Most of us have mitigated the risks before we made the switch from a dual income home to a single income home. I am a SAHM and we are very favorably situated in this pandemic and doing very well. We have lived on 1/2 what my DH has made for years. We are completely sorted out in terms of liquid cash, mortgage, retirement, medical and college.

In DMV at least, when an educated woman chooses to become a SAHM its because the family has cash reserves and insurance. This is not Podunk, Trumplandia. No one is a teen mom here. I hope the high earning lawyer who lost his job has a lot of cash socked away. It not then I can only laugh at the entitlement that made them think that frugality is beneath them.

This is hysterical.
- rich person

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Very few people on the face of the Earth make 300K per year. Of course you can afford to downsize, and spend more time being a parent.

We are 2 teachers with 2 kids who live amazing lives on about 100K a year.

But in the DC Area 300K a year puts you solidly into middle class. This is our family income, we have three mortgages (one in our home, two others on places we used to live and now rent out and it covers mortgage), credit card debt that we pay off in full, two children in public school, no extravagant vacations, modest amount of travel, save enough to fund 401Ks and kids 529s and a modest emergency fund, have to be frugal
And thoughtful in our supermarket shopping and restaurant choices and leisurely/activities for ourselves and our kids. The Dc area is full of families that are barely making it or just solidly living a good existence with a 250K-350K Income. Most of our friends if not every single one of them is also earning in that vicinity either as a single or double income household. Was i wrong in thinking that’s the norm here? I am a work out of the home mom with a great job that has flexible hours so I can take care of kids before and after school (and I LOVE being with them as much now as during school year) and hubby gets bonuses/commission and more so some years feast, some famine. We try to be prepared.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I suspect we’ll see fewer SAHMs as the value of having two paychecks will become more apparent. All those women married to high earning lawyers who thought they were set are going to realize how quickly that big paycheck can disappear.

Meh. The people who can truly afford to have a SAH parent are also smart enough to have figured all of this out. Most of us have mitigated the risks before we made the switch from a dual income home to a single income home. I am a SAHM and we are very favorably situated in this pandemic and doing very well. We have lived on 1/2 what my DH has made for years. We are completely sorted out in terms of liquid cash, mortgage, retirement, medical and college.

In DMV at least, when an educated woman chooses to become a SAHM its because the family has cash reserves and insurance. This is not Podunk, Trumplandia. No one is a teen mom here. I hope the high earning lawyer who lost his job has a lot of cash socked away. It not then I can only laugh at the entitlement that made them think that frugality is beneath them.

This is hysterical.
- rich person

I am in MoCo in a neighborhood where houses range from 600s-800s. There are plenty of SAHMs here (and a SAHD or two) and the working spouses I am thinking of are a CPA, an architect, a therapist, a scientist working for the government.... I'm pretty sure these families aren't sitting on piles of cash and liquid assets that would have them set long term through a job loss.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Very few people on the face of the Earth make 300K per year. Of course you can afford to downsize, and spend more time being a parent.

We are 2 teachers with 2 kids who live amazing lives on about 100K a year.

But in the DC Area 300K a year puts you solidly into middle class. This is our family income, we have three mortgages (one in our home, two others on places we used to live and now rent out and it covers mortgage), credit card debt that we pay off in full, two children in public school, no extravagant vacations, modest amount of travel, save enough to fund 401Ks and kids 529s and a modest emergency fund, have to be frugal
And thoughtful in our supermarket shopping and restaurant choices and leisurely/activities for ourselves and our kids. The Dc area is full of families that are barely making it or just solidly living a good existence with a 250K-350K Income. Most of our friends if not every single one of them is also earning in that vicinity either as a single or double income household. Was i wrong in thinking that’s the norm here? I am a work out of the home mom with a great job that has flexible hours so I can take care of kids before and after school (and I LOVE being with them as much now as during school year) and hubby gets bonuses/commission and more so some years feast, some famine. We try to be prepared.

There are plenty of people living like you, but also plenty of people living on a lot less. Our household income is half yours and we're in the upper end of the people I'm friends with. I wouldn't describe our existence as particularly frugal, I certainly don't really think about how much money I spend at grocery store at our income level. Only one kid is part of it, but if you handed me another $150,000 I'm not even sure what I'd spend it on.

[Anonymous]

Well, I guess we can add Slow Pit Viper SAHM to the parade of horribles on display in this thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Very few people on the face of the Earth make 300K per year. Of course you can afford to downsize, and spend more time being a parent.

We are 2 teachers with 2 kids who live amazing lives on about 100K a year.

But in the DC Area 300K a year puts you solidly into middle class. This is our family income, we have three mortgages (one in our home, two others on places we used to live and now rent out and it covers mortgage), credit card debt that we pay off in full, two children in public school, no extravagant vacations, modest amount of travel, save enough to fund 401Ks and kids 529s and a modest emergency fund, have to be frugal
And thoughtful in our supermarket shopping and restaurant choices and leisurely/activities for ourselves and our kids. The Dc area is full of families that are barely making it or just solidly living a good existence with a 250K-350K Income. Most of our friends if not every single one of them is also earning in that vicinity either as a single or double income household. Was i wrong in thinking that’s the norm here? I am a work out of the home mom with a great job that has flexible hours so I can take care of kids before and after school (and I LOVE being with them as much now as during school year) and hubby gets bonuses/commission and more so some years feast, some famine. We try to be prepared.

Are you serious with this shit? You are at the top end of UPPER middle class with a $300k salary. And nobody on a $300k is “barely making it”, they are VERY solid unless they suck at finances. Ask me how I know? My HHI is $300k as well. We live in a lovely house in a close-in neighborhood and want for nothing. You should lower your wants and stop trying to keep up with the Joneses if you truly think you are “barely making it”

Note: I don’t mean a $300k income let’s you easily withstand a recession without making lifestyle changes. But it doesn’t mean you are “barely making it” FFS

[Anonymous]

^^ I bet your inferiority complex around “barely making it” lessens your guilt around your lack of charitable giving, amirite?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I suspect we’ll see fewer SAHMs as the value of having two paychecks will become more apparent. All those women married to high earning lawyers who thought they were set are going to realize how quickly that big paycheck can disappear.

Meh. The people who can truly afford to have a SAH parent are also smart enough to have figured all of this out. Most of us have mitigated the risks before we made the switch from a dual income home to a single income home. I am a SAHM and we are very favorably situated in this pandemic and doing very well. We have lived on 1/2 what my DH has made for years. We are completely sorted out in terms of liquid cash, mortgage, retirement, medical and college.

In DMV at least, when an educated woman chooses to become a SAHM its because the family has cash reserves and insurance. This is not Podunk, Trumplandia. No one is a teen mom here. I hope the high earning lawyer who lost his job has a lot of cash socked away. It not then I can only laugh at the entitlement that made them think that frugality is beneath them.

You sound totally clueless. There are plenty of families where the SAHM couldn’t make enough to justify childcare and had little interest in working and a high-earning spouse so it was an easy decision. It does not mean they had millions socked away so they could withstand any economic crisis. Do you know how many SAHMs had to go back to work after the 2008 recession?

You are right, of course, but I wouldn't bother. That PP is astonishingly self-absorbed, but any rational reader can see that. She doesn't possess the ability to extrapolate outside of her own immediate frame of reference.

I mean, do you really even want to try to reason with somebody who boasts about how she wants to laugh at the real and awful financial troubles of families? It's like trying to reason with a pit viper.

Well, this pit viper has a nest egg that was built by living frugally so I am ok. What about you?

I think it is a sign of entitlement that people think they don't have to to live frugally and that they deserve every luxury. I have a friend who bought a million dollar home and has very little savings. I can understand that people who are making less than 100K are struggling to make end meet, but a 4-member family with HHI of 300K+ is struggling? Why? Well because they were travelling internationally and taking luxurious vacations and they think they deserve all material luxuries that the universe has to offer. I am sorry but I cannot muster up enough sympathy for them. I will save my sympathy for people who are low earners and actually are struggling to make ends meet.

It will be interesting to see how all of this will play out.

I stand corrected. It is like trying to reason with a dim and slow pit viper.

I stand corrected too. It will be amusing to see a lot of these high earners and high spenders consumers crash and burn. It is height of privilege and entitlement if you could not save on an HHI of 300K+. Yes, some of you should go back to work. Being a financially secure SAHM or FIRE does not happen without some material sacrifices. You can still live very well but I am saving my sympathies for people who actually do not make enough. Having a 6 figure HHI is a lot of money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I suspect we’ll see fewer SAHMs as the value of having two paychecks will become more apparent. All those women married to high earning lawyers who thought they were set are going to realize how quickly that big paycheck can disappear.

Meh. The people who can truly afford to have a SAH parent are also smart enough to have figured all of this out. Most of us have mitigated the risks before we made the switch from a dual income home to a single income home. I am a SAHM and we are very favorably situated in this pandemic and doing very well. We have lived on 1/2 what my DH has made for years. We are completely sorted out in terms of liquid cash, mortgage, retirement, medical and college.

In DMV at least, when an educated woman chooses to become a SAHM its because the family has cash reserves and insurance. This is not Podunk, Trumplandia. No one is a teen mom here. I hope the high earning lawyer who lost his job has a lot of cash socked away. It not then I can only laugh at the entitlement that made them think that frugality is beneath them.

You sound totally clueless. There are plenty of families where the SAHM couldn’t make enough to justify childcare and had little interest in working and a high-earning spouse so it was an easy decision. It does not mean they had millions socked away so they could withstand any economic crisis. Do you know how many SAHMs had to go back to work after the 2008 recession?

You are right, of course, but I wouldn't bother. That PP is astonishingly self-absorbed, but any rational reader can see that. She doesn't possess the ability to extrapolate outside of her own immediate frame of reference.

I mean, do you really even want to try to reason with somebody who boasts about how she wants to laugh at the real and awful financial troubles of families? It's like trying to reason with a pit viper.

Well, this pit viper has a nest egg that was built by living frugally so I am ok. What about you?

I think it is a sign of entitlement that people think they don't have to to live frugally and that they deserve every luxury. I have a friend who bought a million dollar home and has very little savings. I can understand that people who are making less than 100K are struggling to make end meet, but a 4-member family with HHI of 300K+ is struggling? Why? Well because they were travelling internationally and taking luxurious vacations and they think they deserve all material luxuries that the universe has to offer. I am sorry but I cannot muster up enough sympathy for them. I will save my sympathy for people who are low earners and actually are struggling to make ends meet.

It will be interesting to see how all of this will play out.

I stand corrected. It is like trying to reason with a dim and slow pit viper.

I stand corrected too. It will be amusing to see a lot of these high earners and high spenders consumers crash and burn. It is height of privilege and entitlement if you could not save on an HHI of 300K+. Yes, some of you should go back to work. Being a financially secure SAHM or FIRE does not happen without some material sacrifices. You can still live very well but I am saving my sympathies for people who actually do not make enough. Having a 6 figure HHI is a lot of money.

I don't believe you have the ability to have either empathy or sympathy for anyone, regardless of income.

[Anonymous]

If 300K is only middle-class then I guess the rest of us are living in tents in the street. But see, we're not, We are solidly in the middle class at 100K (2 incomes.) As is the rest of America. And yes we are in the DC area. As are the millions of people around here who do not make anywhere near 300K.

If you don't watch your grocery bill then you are NOT middle class. You are upper class.

[Anonymous]

Wow, I can’t believe anyone would claim $300k is barely making it. That is our HHI, and we have a very heavy student debt load to boot, and do not yet own a home — but I am under no illusions that we are doing very well and solidly upper middle class on our way to upper upper (so long as neither of us loses our jobs, knock on wood).