I'm not sure if I want to marry my fiancé
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Anonymous
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For some reason, I am not excited about marrying my fiancé. I don't spend hours thinking about how my name wil sound with his last name or dream of being his Mrs or anything like that. I'm not giddy at the thought of walking down the aisle or something.
He's a great guy who I know will be an excellent husband. I just can't get excited to marry him. |
Anonymous
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For some people, what you feel is enough. For others, they would say you are settling and shouldn't marry someone you don't love.
I'm in the 'you're settling' camp. |
Anonymous
| Did you talk about getting married before he proposed? What were you thinking when you accepted? Said kindly, not snarky - just think the context of how you came to be in your predicament is important. |
Anonymous
| what's the rest of the story? Is this your first marriage? How old are you? Education/career? How did you two meet? Are you attracted to him? |
Anonymous
| How long have you been engaged? I admitted in premarital therapy that I felt like this fleetingly at least once a week for the first three months. I could not see any reason to rock the boat. The feeling faded once I saw that I wasn't losing anything. I never got giddy (we're in our 40s), but I do have a deep sense of the rightness of getting married. |
Anonymous
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Please please don't marry him. You'll find somebody else. Believe me. I did. We lived happily ever after without all that messy drama.
Signed. Married 20 years |
Anonymous
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^^
ps I hope you're using incognito mode or else he'll find out! |
Anonymous
| Is it the wedding process itself? Lots of women have small, perfunctory weddings or keep their own names. I had doubts about my DH before we got married. They weren't at all related to him, more feelings of "this is Forever..." They evaporated once we actually got married. But if you feel like you're settling somehow, don't do it. |
Anonymous
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I think the people who feel "giddy" often suffer from severe disappointment afterwards.
You should feel content, right, at peace, loved and in love. Giddiness not necessary. |
Anonymous
| You sound immature. |
Anonymous
You sound bitchy. |
Anonymous
| I didn't fall for the wedding industrial complex either. Is that your point? I'm not quite sure I'm able to parse whether it's the wedding or the marriage. |
Anonymous
+1 |
Anonymous
| Being someone's wife, getting married, sharing a name, none of those things caught my fancy either. I was more thinking about who I wanted with me in 5, 20, 50 years. |
Anonymous
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Do you have to be giddy? I thought that was just for people who get giddy generally.
If you love him and want to marry him, go ahead. If you don't then don't. Its not that complicated. |