Would you let your preteen grocery shop alone?

[Anonymous]

Assuming your sixth grade child was 1) mature and responsible, 2) way larger and older-looking than the average middle school student, and 3) had a cell phone to easily reach you, and 4) you were only going to be 2-to-3 minutes away by car for an appointment, would you ever consider dropping him/her off at an upscale grocery store with tons of customer service in a very safe neighborhood with a shopping list so that he/she could fill the cart up while you attend the appointment?

I've recently been diagnosed with a serious illness requiring frequent doctor trips, and between the health stuff, regular life chores like grocery shopping and housework, parenting, working almost full time, and trying to rebuild my crumbling marriage, I feel like I could really use some extra help. My eldest has been great about pitching in with laundry and babysitting when needed, but tonight DH and I need to go to counseling AND the to grocery store (if we don't, he and his brother won't have breakfast/lunches for the week), and I'm wondering if it would be out of line to ask DS 11 to fill up the cart while his dad and I are at our appointment. We leave him at home alone or watching his brother pretty often for an hour or so, with no issues. This would be almost exactly an hour, and he'd be occupied searching for the objects on the list and putting them in the cart, without the complication of being responsible for his brother (who has child care for tonight). That way, when we arrived to pick him up, we'd just have to pay for the groceries and go home rather than having to go to counseling, then shop for another hour, THEN drive home. "Two birds, one stone" kind of thing.

Is this a crazy idea? Please be kind about your response. It's okay to say you think it's a bad idea, but please don't call me a bad parent. I am doing the best I can in a really shitty situation, and I wouldn't be asking for a gut check here if I didn't care about doing the right thing.

[Anonymous]

I think this is a great idea. I would expect you might not get exactly what's on your list the first time, but that he would get the hang of it pretty quickly.
The other thing you might consider is using a call ahead service where you order your groceries online and just pick them up. I believe Giant and Harris Teeter have this.

[Anonymous]

Sounds perfect.

[Anonymous]

You might want to speak to the store manager as he would likely be regarded as a shoplifting threat. Seriously.

[Anonymous]

OP, I think that's a terrific idea. Even if the family didn't need the extra help to function, it would be a terrific idea. My best wishes to you for everything working out as well as possible.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Wow. I am surprised and pleased at the first two responses. Maybe I'm not as crazy as I thought! (I feel like I'm losing my mind lately with all the stress.)

The call ahead/online ordering thing is a great idea that I should probably plan to do in the future. But it's too late to do it tonight.

Thanks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You might want to speak to the store manager as he would likely be regarded as a shoplifting threat. Seriously.

An eleven-year-old with a grocery list, buying bread and milk and juice boxes, at dinnertime, at Whole Foods? Doesn't seem like the stereotypical shoplifting suspect to me.

[Anonymous]

I don't think you need to call ahead. He's going to be putting items in a cart and has money in his pocket, nobody will assume shoplifting.

If he's responsible there is no reason you shouldn't let him do this.

[Anonymous]

Let your son help out as this helps him as much as it helps you.

Babying kids until they are 18 and then sending them unprepared out to college is proving to be quite an issue for many unprepared teens.

[Anonymous]

My 11 yo shops for me all the time at our neighborhood safeway (walks to and from though so a shorter list). It has never been an issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You might want to speak to the store manager as he would likely be regarded as a shoplifting threat. Seriously.

An eleven-year-old with a grocery list, buying bread and milk and juice boxes, at dinnertime, at Whole Foods? Doesn't seem like the stereotypical shoplifting suspect to me.

I guess it depends where. I missed Whole Foods.

But, for example Harris Teeter at Lee Harrison has a big problem with juveniles, and they aren't even permitted in the store without an adult.

[Anonymous]

What's an "upscale" grocery store?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You might want to speak to the store manager as he would likely be regarded as a shoplifting threat. Seriously.

An eleven-year-old with a grocery list, buying bread and milk and juice boxes, at dinnertime, at Whole Foods? Doesn't seem like the stereotypical shoplifting suspect to me.

I guess it depends where. I missed Whole Foods.

But, for example Harris Teeter at Lee Harrison has a big problem with juveniles, and they aren't even permitted in the store without an adult.

Unless it changed recently, it was only GROUPS of juveniles who were prohibited. I think three plus but it could have been two plus.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You might want to speak to the store manager as he would likely be regarded as a shoplifting threat. Seriously.

OP again. He's a skinny (and white, which shouldn't matter, but we all know it does), reserved, bespectacled geek who is exceptionally courteous (will get things off shelves for little old ladies or people in wheelchairs, hold doors open for people, that kind of thing) and obsessive about rule following - he LOVES the police and military simply because he believes in peace and order (he has a hard time processing news stories that feature "bad cops" or "bad soldiers."). The idea of him shoplifting or being thought of as a crime risk is hilarious to me, but your point is well taken. He's getting to that age for sure, where he's suspect because he's a teenage boy. If we drop him off, I'll talk the the manager just to be safe. It will give me peace of mind anyway to know that another adult knows he's there. Thanks for this.

[Anonymous]

I think this is a great idea. As time goes on, he'll get better and better and determining what the family needs for the week.