(S/O from relationship thread): Would you leave 13 yo DD in a hotel room while you worked

[Anonymous]

The idea was people suggesting I take DD on a business trip. when I pointed out I would be working for at least 8 hrs a day (turned out to be 14 hours a day), DD could play. I said no way would I give my 13 yo that much freedom to explore the city, and she would be bored in a hotel all day.

Thoughts?

[Anonymous]

Not without adult supervision.

[Anonymous]

Hire a personal tour guide?

[Anonymous]

I would. I assume she would have an iPad or the such. Does she get bored staying at home all day? Same thing

[Anonymous]

I would be bored in a hotel all day, and I'm an adult.

[Anonymous]

I would with my son, absolutely. I know him, and he'd keep to whatever I laid out in terms of guidelines. Only you know your DD. How independent is she? Does she follow the rules when you're not around? My son does. My DD? I'd have to split my time from work for my own peace of mind----a break for lunch at the very least. If there were spaces I could check in on her, maybe those as well. I'd be concerned about MY DD because she's not as cautious as DS. And, she thinks she's smarter than anyone else. Ugh.

But, DS? I could drop him at a mall, then check in at lunch. Have lunch with him, then back to the hotel for an afternoon of room service and movies. NBD. Could you trust DD to do something like this?

All of it depends on who your DD is, her interests and level of maturity. It could be a total game changer, to trust her like this. I don't know the city. That, of course, also plays a part in the decision making here. For example, in DC, I could send DS downtown to the Spy Museum and the Portrait Gallery, meet up at Clyde's for lunch, then take him back to the hotel. He could totally manage that. For DD, it would look more like a trip to Mazza Gallery, (ha!) lunch at Clyde's, then back to the hotel. But, boy, I'd be thinking about her constantly.

Whether it's a day in the hotel or out and about in the city, you should plan her day. Pool, lunch, workout, shop online or plan a day with you in the city with the concierge,...there's lots of stuff to keep her busy for the day, while you are at work. A big night out for a fancy, grown up dinner with Dad sounds cool, too! Especially if she has to spend part of the day picking out an outfit from the local mall while you're working.

Only you know who she is and what you're comfortable with, OP. It could work.

[Anonymous]

Not at 13.

[Anonymous]

My mom left me at 10/11 - not for a day, but for several hours - in a hotel room while she was occupied. It was a nice hotel in Chicago. I ordered room service and a movie. It was fine!

[Anonymous]

I have done this. I have arranged tours, which have worked out very well. I left my 12 year old son once in Paris showing him how to get to two sites within easy walking distance. I came back at five and he was still sleeping. I've also left him and found him perfectly content to order room service and watch TV. Tip: Make sure the adult channels are blocked.

[Anonymous]

Depends on the kid.

[Anonymous]

I have a DD who is 14, responsible, would do what I told her, would check in with me on time, etc. And I still would not do this.

Why are people suggesting this to you, OP? Is it a matter of not having an adult at home to be with her while you are gone on this trip so this is essentially glorified babysitting by the hotel? Or is it someone's idea that your kid could be having fun as a tourist while you're working? How did this option even come up as a possibility?

Either way it's not a great idea to me. If your child stays in a hotel room for 8 to 14 hours at a time--that's a bore, even with all the room service, movies and iPad time in the world.

And it's a waste of your taking her if she goes there only to do what she could be doing anywhere else, namely, watching stuff, playing games and texting, and eating.

If, on the other hand, you tell her to go out there and hit the town solo at 13--She can be extremely mature and able to handle herself, but that doesn't mean it's all safe and fine for her to be out in a city with which she's not familiar.

OP, you say that the trip "turned out to be 14 hours a day" of work, which makes me think that this already happened and you're asking after the fact. Is that right? Just curious, if this already happened and you did or didn't take your kid, why you're posting after the fact, if that is the case.

[Anonymous]

No matter how mature your child is, I would ALWAYS stop at the front desk and let the concierge or a manager know *NOT* to grant anyone access to the room and not to send anyone to the room to clean, to deliver stuff, etc. for safety reasons if your child in the room alone.

[Anonymous]

Absolutely not - Hotels are not the safest places and most hotel rooms do not allow kids alone in the room. Why take a chance?

[Anonymous]

A bus tour might be a good idea--since she can't drive, this solves the transit problem. I did tours at that age and was perfectly fine and content. Chances are, there's going to be at least one family with kids her age on the tour. Pre-pay for the tour, tip well ahead of time, and give them both your cell number and hers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No matter how mature your child is, I would ALWAYS stop at the front desk and let the concierge or a manager know *NOT* to grant anyone access to the room and not to send anyone to the room to clean, to deliver stuff, etc. for safety reasons if your child in the room alone.

Or just hand a "DO NOT DISTURB" sign on the door.