(S/O from relationship thread): Would you leave 13 yo DD in a hotel room while you worked
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
|
OP here. I would have no problem leaving DD in the hotel for a few hours. Maybe even 5 hours. But not for a full work day.
FWIW, I am male, and at 15 my parents did that: they (and my sister) had gone on a day trip; I had met a girl the previous day and wanted to spend time with her. I got her into the room, but no further than holding hands. |
Anonymous
|
I would worry about my kid getting bored, but not about safety. If there was a reason, such as no one to leave her with at home or it was a one day conference and then we were continuing on to vacation, then I'd make sure she had some good books or something else to amuse her.
I agree that a better plan would be to find someplace local and somewhat contained to drop them off. I wouldn't expect a 13 year old to "wander the city" alone, but they'd be fine dropped at a museum with the direction to take a specific bus from a specific place home. Or with directions to walk to a specific movie theater or book store or indoor pool that was close to the hotel and easy to find. |
Anonymous
|
Stuck in the room? No way.
Depends on where you are. Free roaming on a resorts grounds. Limited area in a city, with a phone. My kid could have done that, but he'd been home alone with a fair amount of freedom for a long time. |
Anonymous
+ 1. Most cities I would just send DD to explore...much more fun than being stuck in the hotel room, and if she's going to travel with me I would want her to get something out of it. |
Anonymous
| At 13? I would send her to explore the city in the immediate area - Up to 3 blocks up and 3 blocks down. iPad, movies, book - would also fill in the rest of the time. Great opportunity to teach some independence and show your child a little trust - of course, you know your child best. I would do this to MY child, who I know well. |
Anonymous
|
My mom did this to me when I was about the same age, 13/14. It was over 4-5 days.
First of all, I found the opportunity to "shadow" my mom during her work to be very educational and inspiring. I gained a ton more insight and respect into what it meant to work like that. I didn't shadow her the whole time but for just like a day. Her mornings were busy so she left the hotel room early, but I didn't mind because I just wanted to sleep. She met me for lunch and took me out to dinner, despite that being a little inconvenient to her work. We spent a little time shopping too. Who doesn't love that? On the one day it rained, she left me in the room and told me I could order movies through the Pay Per View system. I spent a lot of time weighing the thought of watching porn but knew she'd see the bill. I really wanted to and got incredibly turned on from just the movie titles and text previews. In fact most of the time I was in the hotel room alone I passed the time by masturbating. A lot! It was the first time I remember doing it in front of a full length mirror. That was a new spin, which I enjoyed a lot. In all seriousness, the chance to shadow her job for a day or so was huge looking back. I'm so glad she took me. Now keep in mind this was before iPads and WiFi and stuff. Had it happened today, I'd probably just stayed glued to a screen the whole time and wouldn't have learned as much about my mom and her work as I did. |
Anonymous
OP here. In my case, shadowing was not an option. I did not take DD, as I mentioned in the other thread, for a variety of reasons. Most compelling though was my work hours were going to be long; I did not know how long (was 13-16 hours per day). I would not be reachable during the day. My wife is a SAHM, but DD and wife are going through a rough patch (age appropriate). Furthermore, the hotel was not near anything except a golf course. I stayed there because it was the closest hotel to the corporate offices that I could get under per diem. The ones near downtown would have meant a 30 minute drive for me. |
Anonymous
| Does she have friends? Wouldn't staying home and hanging out with friends periodically be way more fun than being alone in a hotel? I can see if younger a single dad with no options but otherwise, what would be the point? |
Anonymous
| Ffs, she's thirteen, not three! |
Anonymous
| Maybe. If my conferences were within the hotel and I could check back in, sure. Otherwise no. |
Anonymous
| I might. When it comes down to it, my kid is pretty cautious, obedient and mature. But I'd expect at least one phone call whining about how bored he is and is there any chance I can get off early .... |
Anonymous
| BTW, my dad had an on-location kind of job. He used to take me with him on the road during school breaks. Starting at about ten years old, he'd hand me a wad of cash and let me go exploring for hours. I was a little girl and I walked around every port/waterfront area in California all on my own, and nothing ever happened to me. This was in the late 1980s-mid 1990s. I would be terrified to do the same thing with my kids, but a locked hotel room with a phone and TV seems so safe in comparison ... |
Anonymous
Have you seen the story about the woman staying at a Hilton for business who was sexually assaulted by a drunk stranger who convinced the hotel staff (whondid not check IDs) that he was her boyfriend, staying with her and she locked him out because she was mad at him? He saw her at the hotel bar and tried hitting on her but was shot down. The hotel front desk gave him a key, and when he discovered she had the bar lock engaged he got a maintenance worker to open it for him. She was sleeping and woke up to him assaulting her. |
Anonymous
| What kind of hotel had maintainence workers that will disengage the security bar (so clearly a guest inside) and are so skilled that they can do it so quietly that it doesn't wake the sleeping guest? |
Anonymous
|
OP, I answered above that I might be willing to leave a 13 year old in a hotel, and also allow them to explore a little beyond the hotel. But I wanted to add that I would need a good reason to do so, such as childcare problems that made leaving them home impossible, or something else that was happening (e.g. we were going to the hotel for one day, and then continuing on to Grandma's).
I would not take a child, who had another parent at home able to care for them, to another city to leave them in a hotel for 16 hours while I worked, only to turn around and come home. It sounds like you made the right decision. |