Xmas overload. Possible to politely convey preference (few quality v many cheap toys)?

[Anonymous]

A non cluttered house is what works best for us, though we have plenty of space for our toddler DC to enjoy toys. DC's birthday is relatively close to Christmas.

We express thanks for all the gifts, then just quietly donate what DC does not use or enjoy. We have already been to Goodwill this holiday season to donate toys. But I am wondering how others handle this type of issue.

Example: DC receives massive quantity of very cheap toys, often duplicative of nice ones already owned. We receive many sets of items that seem to have 50 pieces - these sets end up jumbled together. We also receive loud, mechanized toys that speak (wouldnt choose these ourselves, and DC quickly tired of them).

We actually avoided buying DC any toys for Christmas ourselves because of the huge b-day-Xmas influx.

What do others do? How did families with "wishlist" traditions get those started- was it totally initiated by grandparents? This is a first world problem for sure.

[Anonymous]

Do any of these people ask what your child wants? If they do, then you can direct them to an Amazon-type wishlist of "here's some ideas I put together".

Other than that, the only thing you can say is "thank you".

[Anonymous]

I told my MIL I started an Amazon wish list for the girls, so that *I* could keep track of the things I wanted to get for them. "My friend Becca suggested that; it was SO helpful to get organized that way!" And then she asked for the link.

When she asked "what's new?" DH told her "We've decided we're not getting the girls plastic toys made in China. We found several companies that make toys in the US that we really like."

Now, four years later, sometimes she goes "off-list" but she has a very clear understanding of the types of toys I want my kids to have. When she's gone clothing shopping with me for them and pulls out a sweatshirt that has the word GAP plastered across the chest and asked "How about this?" I've answered "Oh, well I like the color for DD, but we don't believe in the kids being a walking advertisement so won't get them stuff with brands on them in big lettering."

[Anonymous]

Unfortunately, unless you're explicitly asked for a wish list for your DC, it's rude to "suggest" gift ideas. Keep going to Goodwill.

[Anonymous]

Be proactive. Ask for something like a zoo or aquarium membership.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't direct anyone to a wishlist...

If someone asks me what DD wants for xmas, I just say "hmmm she has a ton of toys already..." then that person might say "clothes?" and I can't argue with that.

[Anonymous]

Every year DS makes a Christmas list for Santa. I share this with family (who always ask) and my best friends who always ask.

That said whenever my DS visits my parents my father insists on taking him to those dollar stores (think 5 below) to get cheapo toys. I have tried suggesting they get one nice $10-$15 toy rather than 10-15 $1 toys but it never works.
I just don't take them back home with us b/c he is never going to change. Luckily everyone else goes for quality of quantity,

[Anonymous]

We bought 5000sf mcmansion in mclean, problem solved

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We bought 5000sf mcmansion in mclean, problem solved

Too funny! OP, depends on your family and friends. In mine, a request like you want to make, would not only fall on deaf ears, but you would be considered ungrateful so it would be a bad idea. And the request would live forever in everyone's minds, so you'd be teased forever about how crazy you were to make it. But, there is PP whose family worked with her on this. Seriously, this is really a "know your audience" issue.

[Anonymous]

Depends on the family member. If we intervene early w MIL, it sometimes works. But it has to be something she seems worthy of being a BIG gift. Scooter or bike is good. Magnatiles or orther pricy but not physicallly big doesn't work for her. Know your audience . People who like to give a lot for the sake of giving a lot are probably happy to give one of those seemingly more significant gifts. It just has to appear impressive regardless of actual price.

My mother always takes my ideas and sticks with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I told my MIL I started an Amazon wish list for the girls, so that *I* could keep track of the things I wanted to get for them. "My friend Becca suggested that; it was SO helpful to get organized that way!" And then she asked for the link.

When she asked "what's new?" DH told her "We've decided we're not getting the girls plastic toys made in China. We found several companies that make toys in the US that we really like."

Now, four years later, sometimes she goes "off-list" but she has a very clear understanding of the types of toys I want my kids to have. When she's gone clothing shopping with me for them and pulls out a sweatshirt that has the word GAP plastered across the chest and asked "How about this?" I've answered "Oh, well I like the color for DD, but we don't believe in the kids being a walking advertisement so won't get them stuff with brands on them in big lettering."

Jesus you sound absolutely insufferable.

[Anonymous]

My in laws asked for a wish list before our kid was even born because we did a wedding registry on Amazonand it was easy and great. Now we all have one.

I'd have no qualms about saying "Larla has started an Amazon wish list so she can post ideas for what she is interested in and we sometimes add things she might like or need. Why don't you guys make one too? It's fun and makes gifting so easy!"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We bought 5000sf mcmansion in mclean, problem solved

LOL. Filled with a bunch of plastic crap? Sounds lovely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I told my MIL I started an Amazon wish list for the girls, so that *I* could keep track of the things I wanted to get for them. "My friend Becca suggested that; it was SO helpful to get organized that way!" And then she asked for the link.

When she asked "what's new?" DH told her "We've decided we're not getting the girls plastic toys made in China. We found several companies that make toys in the US that we really like."

Now, four years later, sometimes she goes "off-list" but she has a very clear understanding of the types of toys I want my kids to have. When she's gone clothing shopping with me for them and pulls out a sweatshirt that has the word GAP plastered across the chest and asked "How about this?" I've answered "Oh, well I like the color for DD, but we don't believe in the kids being a walking advertisement so won't get them stuff with brands on them in big lettering."

Jesus you sound absolutely insufferable.

+1

[Anonymous]

I totally understand what you are saying but keep in mind the big toy years are pretty brief though I know it doesn't seem like it when you have toddlers. Their opinions start playing a role pretty quickly too. Are you really going to deny your daughter a Little Pony (or whatever) set when she has been obsessed with her friends for the last 2 months and it is the only thing on her list to Santa because it is plastic? Unless you are asked, I think you can just say think you. I do think you could also..sometime in January say you are starting a wish list for next year to be organized and hope they might ask for it.