Xmas overload. Possible to politely convey preference (few quality v many cheap toys)?

[Anonymous]

think you = thank you

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Every year DS makes a Christmas list for Santa. I share this with family (who always ask) and my best friends who always ask.

That said whenever my DS visits my parents my father insists on taking him to those dollar stores (think 5 below) to get cheapo toys. I have tried suggesting they get one nice $10-$15 toy rather than 10-15 $1 toys but it never works.
I just don't take them back home with us b/c he is never going to change. Luckily everyone else goes for quality of quantity,

Annoying but a lot of little kids would prefer a bunch of junky toys to one nice toy, and the experience of going together is worth something in itself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Every year DS makes a Christmas list for Santa. I share this with family (who always ask) and my best friends who always ask.

That said whenever my DS visits my parents my father insists on taking him to those dollar stores (think 5 below) to get cheapo toys. I have tried suggesting they get one nice $10-$15 toy rather than 10-15 $1 toys but it never works.
I just don't take them back home with us b/c he is never going to change. Luckily everyone else goes for quality of quantity,

Annoying but a lot of little kids would prefer a bunch of junky toys to one nice toy, and the experience of going together is worth something in itself.

+1 kids are definitely quantity over quality

[Anonymous]

My mom does this & so does our nanny. Drives me nuts! The cheapo toys always break too. I get to throw them away or donate if they're in decent condition (which they're usually not). MIL always asks what the kids want and I either tell her one specific toy or ask for something like tae kwon do lessons.

I can think of nothing worse than a McMansion filled with junky toys.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mom does this & so does our nanny. Drives me nuts! The cheapo toys always break too. I get to throw them away or donate if they're in decent condition (which they're usually not). MIL always asks what the kids want and I either tell her one specific toy or ask for something like tae kwon do lessons.

I can think of nothing worse than a McMansion filled with junky toys.

Nothing? Really, nothing?
I can think of plenty worse things and I hate McMansions and junky toys too.

[Anonymous]

We always used to have this problem, too. Once when my mom asked what DS might like for Christmas I directed her to some "new" toys she never heard of, like Magna-tiles, marble runs, etc. She was at first shocked by the prices ($75-100) as she's used to buying many small junk items from the dollar stores. I had to convince her that just buying one toy was sufficient for DS, as she liked the process of wrapping tons of things to give him. Then that first Christmas she finally followed my suggestion and saw how cool the Magna-tiles were and how much fun DS had with them (he played with that way more than the other junk) she totally got it. Now she seeks out these kinds of toys and understands that one of these is much better than 5 or 10 of the cheapo kind. It was really more about her upbringing, learning about higher quality toys that exist, and letting go of the idea that she "needed" to give a bunch of presents to make it fun for DS.

[Anonymous]

Also, don't underestimate the value of cheap toys. They have there role in a kid's development.

I was always amazed as to how often my boys play with "army" men and plastic dinosaurs. As the kids get older, these are the toys that go in the mud, to the beach and allow for "BIG" drama over the yard. It doesn't matter if a asteroid (of mud) is launched from the deck and wipes out the dinos and some get lost. Ditto for matchbox demolition derbies.

the cheap basic stuff does the least, so it allows for the most imagination.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I told my MIL I started an Amazon wish list for the girls, so that *I* could keep track of the things I wanted to get for them. "My friend Becca suggested that; it was SO helpful to get organized that way!" And then she asked for the link.

When she asked "what's new?" DH told her "We've decided we're not getting the girls plastic toys made in China. We found several companies that make toys in the US that we really like."

Now, four years later, sometimes she goes "off-list" but she has a very clear understanding of the types of toys I want my kids to have. When she's gone clothing shopping with me for them and pulls out a sweatshirt that has the word GAP plastered across the chest and asked "How about this?" I've answered "Oh, well I like the color for DD, but we don't believe in the kids being a walking advertisement so won't get them stuff with brands on them in big lettering."

Jesus you sound absolutely insufferable.

I definitely do things differently than the rest of their family, yes. But I do what I think is best for my kids. I also don't feed them chemical-laden foods like DH's cousins do. It probably took the in-laws about a year to get used to the way we do things, and I have always been polite about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I totally understand what you are saying but keep in mind the big toy years are pretty brief though I know it doesn't seem like it when you have toddlers. Their opinions start playing a role pretty quickly too. Are you really going to deny your daughter a Little Pony (or whatever) set when she has been obsessed with her friends for the last 2 months and it is the only thing on her list to Santa because it is plastic? Unless you are asked, I think you can just say think you. I do think you could also..sometime in January say you are starting a wish list for next year to be organized and hope they might ask for it.

VERY wise post.

My inlaws are of the ten gifts for everyone persuasion. With three kids that usually means boxes of gifts every Christmas.

My youngest is six and the oldest a teenager. This year, instead of boxes or a huge box of gifts, a single, normal sized box of presents arrived. My kids thought something might be missing, but in reality the oldest two had aged out of toys and into sports jerseys, video games and itunes gift cards and the youngest had aged out of pyaset type toys with a milkion parts. The gifts will only get smaller from here.

Also OP, if your daughter is the first grandchild or only girl? Once more grandkids get added to the mix, she will get less and less. Right now tye grandparents are rediscovering tye fun of shopping for kids. That too will be short lived once they get more grandkids or your daughter is no longer "little".

Just be gracious OP and say thank you. This phase will not last forever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I told my MIL I started an Amazon wish list for the girls, so that *I* could keep track of the things I wanted to get for them. "My friend Becca suggested that; it was SO helpful to get organized that way!" And then she asked for the link.

When she asked "what's new?" DH told her "We've decided we're not getting the girls plastic toys made in China. We found several companies that make toys in the US that we really like."

Now, four years later, sometimes she goes "off-list" but she has a very clear understanding of the types of toys I want my kids to have. When she's gone clothing shopping with me for them and pulls out a sweatshirt that has the word GAP plastered across the chest and asked "How about this?" I've answered "Oh, well I like the color for DD, but we don't believe in the kids being a walking advertisement so won't get them stuff with brands on them in big lettering."

Jesus you sound absolutely insufferable.

I definitely do things differently than the rest of their family, yes. But I do what I think is best for my kids. I also don't feed them chemical-laden foods like DH's cousins do. It probably took the in-laws about a year to get used to the way we do things, and I have always been polite about it.

Oh my.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I told my MIL I started an Amazon wish list for the girls, so that *I* could keep track of the things I wanted to get for them. "My friend Becca suggested that; it was SO helpful to get organized that way!" And then she asked for the link.

When she asked "what's new?" DH told her "We've decided we're not getting the girls plastic toys made in China. We found several companies that make toys in the US that we really like."

Now, four years later, sometimes she goes "off-list" but she has a very clear understanding of the types of toys I want my kids to have. When she's gone clothing shopping with me for them and pulls out a sweatshirt that has the word GAP plastered across the chest and asked "How about this?" I've answered "Oh, well I like the color for DD, but we don't believe in the kids being a walking advertisement so won't get them stuff with brands on them in big lettering."

Jesus you sound absolutely insufferable.

I thought the same thing! You're offended by a Gap sweatshirt?!

[Anonymous]

If I'm asked I come back with a few specific ideas including books, which are always welcome, or experiences. "I see the Lion King will be at your regional theater this spring. If you want to take DC as a christmas present we can arrange a visit."

Beyond that I let it go. DC is expected to go through toys before birthday and christmas and donate anything they don't play with anymore. That helps minimize the clutter.

[Anonymous]

We started wishlists. I never offer it up but if you ask for gift ideas I will send it because I was tired of a bunch of people asking me what to get DH or kids and keep track of eho I told what. It was also annoying because if I told so and so DH wants X and they didn't get it (which is totally fine) then I wouldn't tell someone else who asks and then he wouldn't end up with something he really wanted.

One of the (many) reasons we say no plastic toys is because it limits what people get. Instead if a million things of cheap junk it becomes a smaller amount of toys.

Also, on wishlists we try and think of experience gifts - memberships, tickets, etc. to help keep the amount of toys down.

I have a constant pile of things that need to go to donate.

[Anonymous]

Let people gift what they want to gift. Telling them what to gift is obnoxious. Let your kids play with these cheap plastic gifts for a while. They'll tire of them quickly. Then do a purge and donate to Goodwill.

That's what we do anyway, and it works for us. (We still do have way too much crap though, I'll admit that. We don't purge often enough.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I told my MIL I started an Amazon wish list for the girls, so that *I* could keep track of the things I wanted to get for them. "My friend Becca suggested that; it was SO helpful to get organized that way!" And then she asked for the link.

When she asked "what's new?" DH told her "We've decided we're not getting the girls plastic toys made in China. We found several companies that make toys in the US that we really like."

Now, four years later, sometimes she goes "off-list" but she has a very clear understanding of the types of toys I want my kids to have. When she's gone clothing shopping with me for them and pulls out a sweatshirt that has the word GAP plastered across the chest and asked "How about this?" I've answered "Oh, well I like the color for DD, but we don't believe in the kids being a walking advertisement so won't get them stuff with brands on them in big lettering."

Jesus you sound absolutely insufferable.

+1

+2